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The Onion’s Future News From The Year 2137

The Onion | December 26, 2025

For More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video While other media outlets bring you news as it happens, only the Onion News Network has the power to bring you the news before it happens. In the year 2137 a catastrophe has reduced the world to a lawless wasteland — food and water are […]


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The Best Of Today Now!: Fresh Roasted Cup Of News

The Onion | December 24, 2025

For More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video The best of the Onion News Network’s morning show, including stories like New Anti-Smoking Ads Warn Teens ‘It’s Gay To Smoke’ and ’12-Year-Old Boy Scouts Volunteer To Give Women Breast Exams.’ For Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion […]



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ONN Exclusive: One-On-One Interview With God

The Onion | December 13, 2025

Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA The infallible Creator of the universe sits down for an intimate eye-opening interview. Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video/


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Neo-Nazi Pulls Off Surprise Victory In Long-Held KKK District | Onion News Network

The Onion | December 11, 2025

ONN projects that Neo-Nazi candidate Lucas Brennan has defeated three-term KKK incumbent William Kent in Alabama’s 4th congressional district, flipping a House seat that has been occupied by the Klan for more than five decades. Have a written record of society’s collapse. Become A Member. Get The Paper. https://membership.theonion.com/?campaign=701a500001geULHAA2



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213 Killed In How Do You Pronounce That?

The Onion | November 23, 2025

Mass casualties are being reported with countless more injured following widespread destruction through the small town of Quioneboughe. Have a written record of society’s collapse. Become A Member. Get The Paper. https://membership.theonion.com/?campaign=701a500001geULHAA2


FUNNY STUFF

iInterviewer: Jason Schwartzman and Roman Coppola

The Onion | October 13, 2025

Our state-of-the-art entertainment reporter talks to director Roman Coppola and star Jason Schwartzman of A Glimpse Inside The Mind Of Charles Swan III. For Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion


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New Wearable Computer Also Sucks Your Dick

The Onion | October 9, 2025

Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Tech Trends looks at the new Samsung Apex, a wearable computing device that streams videos into one eye, the internet into the other, and sucks your cock all at the same time. Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: […]




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