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American Baked Potato Association Study Finds It Best To Load ’Er Up

The Onion | March 30, 2026



Recent findings by the ABPA have concluded that the optimal way for Americans to eat a baked potato is to pile that sucker sky with whatever toppings they can get their hands on and just go to town.

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Written by The Onion

Comments

This post currently has 24 comments.

  1. @jamesm.3967

    March 30, 2026 at 3:59 am

    I remember when baked potatoes used to be a thing in the late '80s they were on the Wendy's salad bar people acted like they were healthy eating and they were cutting back on calories then slowly but surely everything got dumped into them I mean potatoes are very good for you but the calorie count on a potato went from like 100 to 1100

  2. @Chibithy

    March 30, 2026 at 3:59 am

    This is the equivalent of saying you "love coffee" but then order a caramel mocha, fat free, organic almond milk, extra whip, 4 pumps matcha syrup, and boba with cinnamon dust regularly to "function".

  3. @MrPrecedent-q4g

    March 30, 2026 at 3:59 am

    "In a rare case of solidarity, a Muslim/Jewish couple protested their ejection from a local steak house for allegedly UNloading their freshly baked potatoes, claiming, 'Too much ham!'"

  4. @elainebmack

    March 30, 2026 at 3:59 am

    I feel so inadequate after realizing all the toppings I could have been enjoying after a lifetime of eating baked potatoes. Butter, salt, and pepper just won't make the grade anymore.

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