Ex-Pedophile Shares Tips On How To Make Your Kids Less Attractive
Child safety expert and ex-pedophile Terry Parker drops in on the morning show to share some insider tips from his years spent as a sex offender!
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Little Boy Heroically Shoots, Mutilates Burglar
8 year old Lucas Armitage has become a national hero after bravely defending his home by shooting a burglar multiple times in the chest and neck. For More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion
Ford Unveils New Car For Cash-Strapped Buyers: The 1993 Taurus
Ford says the ’93 Taurus is the only car to drive in 2010, and they think Americans will have no other choice but to agree.
Troublehacker – Whenever I Leave The House, Broken Glass Cuts My Feet
Hey there bipeds! Big pieces of glass lacerating your feet? No need to track blood through your step-father’s house when there’s a simple fix! And all of the materials can be found at a mid-sized municipal waste yard! Find out with me, Drew Cleary, on today’s Troublehacking! Subscribe to The […]
New Ad Urges Hipsters To Go To Applebee’s Ironically
On Today Now!, a consumer expert shows Jim a new Applebee’s commercial that urges young people to come and mock their restaurants. (Aired 11/11/11) Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion
Banana Sex Olympics – Sex House – Ep. 5
Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA A truckload of bananas gets delivered to the housemates to stimulate some filthy games. Erin eats regurgitated banana mush. Sex doctor visits. ONION DIGITAL STUDIOS Creative Director: Geoff Haggerty Head Writer: Sam West Writers: Sam Kemmis, Matt Klinman, Michael Pielocik, Chris Sartinsky Writers’ […]
Opt Out Of Olive Garden’s Bread Bowl, It’s Your Right – Troublehacking with Drew Cleary
If you’ve always found Olive Garden’s unlimited breadsticks invasive, find out how to opt out of this program the second you walk in the door. Get back your confidence and appetite at your favorite Italian casual dining spot. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: […]
Judge Dredge – Lake Dredge Appraisal
Santonio pinch-hosts for his brother while Kim recovers from an appraising-related injury. Santonio teaches Virgil about the worth of dredged computers. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion Follow Onion Digital Studios on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/oniondigstudios
Loudness Equals Power – Onion Talks – Ep. 2
Every day we interact with thousands of incredibly loud people, but Barry Buchwalter doesn’t think we should limit ourselves to current volumes. With his innovative new device, anyone can be as loud as anyone, and then they can be even louder. ONION DIGITAL STUDIOS Creative Director: Geoff Haggerty Head Writer: […]
Delicious Pie And The Value Of Patience – Onion Talks – Ep. 7
In our fast paced world, we expect everything at once. But Peter Redd says there is merit to waiting for desirable outcomes– like savoring a delicious homemade pie. A perfect metaphor for a perfect talk. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion […]
