Tesla Launches New Model Of Explosions
Tesla stocks are surging following Elon Musk’s announcement that the fully self-combusting Tesla XP is set to debut later this month.
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@brakecompo2005
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
Do they offer a selective incineration option, where the passenger who gets incinerated is selectable via the touchscreen.
@laizerwoolf
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
Cant wait for the starlink explosion 😮
@kanizh
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
Not so impressive, I would hope for Tesla U235 model soon.
@Nickelodeon81
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
Coming to a highway near you!
@ixiwildflowerixi
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
Gifted one of these to an uncle of mine. Just a few weeks later I was able to claim my inheritance. Best ROI ever.
@anonimanonim2710
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
"These newfangled thingamajigs are fit only for sissies who're afraid of gittin' their hands dirty! Back in my day, we'd have to rig the car to blow ourselves!"
@rthoreson5018
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
Tesla XP 😂
@hyuduthinkur
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
Now powered by algae
@PhillipBell
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
Expected to be delivered three years late, explosion reduced to a strong firework, cost of explosion triple.
@buddhacat422
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
If only this was comedic satire and NOT an actual news report…
@educatingfool216
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
After more than six months I found the beeping sound!!!
@MotherKojiro
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
This is such a stupid business move; any evil corporate overlord worth their salt knows that you lock the good explosions behind a subscription service…
@jessestone117
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
Idk what I'm missing here. I think I'm missing the joke honestly
@channarosenblatt8197
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
Awesome, Onion!
@ThinkPuds
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
Often overlooked, the Tesla Explosion can also convert nearby, non-Tesla cars, into a fireball, at no additional cost. It’s that kind of generosity that makes Tesla, the company it is.
@Wlu_Othe_Oag
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
What that the fucking beep?😭
@Lemonator_32
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
As always, only the best from The Onion
@ForeverHobbit
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
the red border on the thumbnail makes it look like i've already seen the video btw, you should stop using that
@FizzleFX
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
I just saw this. 3 hrs ago i told a friend that the onion and postelion have a hard time since all that nonsense you guys make up HAPPENS FOR REAL…
And this… this is just a report on the Cybertruck!!! … and we had so many FSD 'unalivings' too! … jesus christ.
This is not satire – this is NEWS… you guys just report news by now!
@FizzleFX
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
How is that satire? THE CYBERTRUCK RELEASE WAS A LONG TIME AGO!
@AlexALex-pq8lm
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
What about the right to repare? Are these new XP capabilities permanent or only available through subscription model?
@northfold
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
oh we're so back
@mateusz92380
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
Tesla that drops XP
@ninetendopesaitama2107
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
For the incel men who have nothing. This is a solution. Telon is a genius knowing his customer. ☮️
@colechapman6976
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
As long as the flames and smoke are recyclable I am all for this
@VIadlV
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
Going out with a bang never has been more convenient.
@Verycoolchannel540
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
i feel like it can be more eco-friendly like the prius
@Bubble_bleu
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
The emergency escape has been moved far out of reach in the back seat with the classic high-school locker combination design.
To exit, just get your driver manual and go to page 214 and read the fine print for a unique combination for your car and do the ol' spinny spin.
@luvtwonit
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
The fact I didnt realize this was satire before I saw it was made by the onion
@DystopianUtopia8
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
How can I give them all my monies?
@EnigmaticGentleman
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
With how much Elon hates the Onion he's probably gonna hate watch this. That's pretty cool
@sm-side
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
The random explosions never stopped being funny
@StillAliveAndKicking_
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
Marvelous, love the SpaceX connection
@vidyagaems4063
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
They're using cheap explosives to save on costs. Look up tests on yt, many teslas fail to detonate and basically just burn you to a crisp.
@karpabla
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
The genius of Melon Usk has passed from combustion engine to truly explosive engine.
An alternative way to put layman people in orbit. Cheaper but riskier.
@ballroomstraight
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
death has never had more choices. what a time to be alive
@davidolien2828
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
The car is a killer. Folks need to put crash barriers between their homes and Tesla driverless cars.
@joshuamyers4690
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
I got a car insurance ad before this video.
@CaptDust
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
When people mention planned obsolescence this is exactly what they're talking about. The original 3 exploded just fine, but now they're going to act like a blue flame tornado inferno is superior to the base red and orange slow roast? Give me a break!
@KOGPRD
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
Tesla stock PUMPING 💹
@MariusJoMo
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
I hear the airbags are going to be filled with hydrogen!
@xTerminatorAndy
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
when you guys going to put stuff on infowars
@Marlin123
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
This is just outright proof that Elon Musk eill bring in a new age of technology
@aiinpublic
June 23, 2026 at 10:18 pm
onion basically only reports news a few months ahead of time…..