menu Home chevron_right
FUNNY STUFF

100 Men vs 1 Gorilla: A Battle of Brawn, Brains, and Bad Ideas

Josh Johnson | October 3, 2025



Just announced more dates on The Flowers Tour! Check out https://joshjohnsoncomedy.com/tour for dates and to sign up for the waitlist to be notified when I’m performing in your city.

Hi Friends,

This week I wanted to share my thoughts on the debate that has been dominating online. If 100 men can defeat 1 Gorilla.

Many people have come up with plans, strategies for each individual, even for what a person should do when face to face with a gorilla.

Some of the strongest and best fighters to ever live have been recruited in different hypothetical scenarios.

Jon Jones, Illia Topuria, Islam Machachev, Canelo, Floyd Mayweather, as well as athletes like Luka Doncic, James Harding, Tyreek Hill and more

Hit me on them internets:
Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/joshjohnsoncomedy
TikTok – https://www.tiktok.com/@joshjohnsoncomedy
Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/JoshJComedy Video

Recorded at Bing Crosby Theatre in Spokane, WA

Written by Josh Johnson

Comments

This post currently has 23 comments.

  1. @monteparnas

    October 3, 2025 at 11:46 am

    The reality is actually that the men would win, though, just not for stupid reasons.

    Humans have the best stamina among primates, actually than most animals at all of any size. We don't pay attention to it, but in general most animals can't keep up with our level of activity for a regular day.

    Gorillas are the exact opposite. Due to a diet very poor in energy and a muscle structure focused on explosive strength, they can't keep up with most activities for long. Yes, they are impressive and can be 10 times stronger than the strongest human, but in any sustained activity they'll tire way before we would.

    Assuming everyone involved has absolutely no other option than to fight the other side, whatever the reason (as gorillas aren't chimps and don't fight if they can avoid it), the gorilla will tire and fall exhausted after killing two or three dozens of men.

    It doesn't matter if the battle is to the death or not. The gorilla can't really hit someone and not utterly kill with a single hit. Well, maybe if it just bites off your face and mindlessly throw your limp body aside you have a chance to not bleed to death, but that would mean at most half a dozen mauled survivors, if that much.

  2. @WhatIf_Iam

    October 3, 2025 at 11:46 am

    OMG THAT Whistle laughter needs free tickets to every show! They cannot breathe, for real!! I cannot stop laughing.. wow. so talented. Dang, I thought I was funny, but after this clip, dos muchos!!!

  3. @jackjohnson40

    October 3, 2025 at 11:46 am

    Alright—pure fight scenario, no weapons, average untrained men, open terrain:

    1 Gorilla vs. 100 men = Gorilla wins brutally at first, but eventually loses.

    Here’s how it likely plays out:
    • First 10–20 men charge. Gorilla mauls them—ripping limbs, breaking bones, full berserker mode. Most of them do not get back up.
    • The rest hesitate, fear sets in. A few bold ones try again, get smashed.
    • Eventually, sheer numbers wear it down. Once 30+ guys start dogpiling from all angles—some on the back, some grabbing limbs—the gorilla can’t kill fast enough.
    • But by the time it’s over, you’re looking at 40–60 dead or severely injured men.

    X-factor: If they had any coordination, like Roman shield-wall tactics or swarming from multiple sides in waves, they’d win faster and with fewer casualties. But average dudes? Nah. It’s a bloodbath.

    You want a real twist? 10 trained fighters with coordination could do better than 100 randos.

    Want a breakdown with stats (strength, speed, endurance)?

    (After we talked about how ten trained men could do it with 3-5 casualties, I asked; What about ancient men? Probably take even less for that? Like those who would do insane training for the Olympics, military men trained in warfare?)

    Now that’s where the scale tips fast.

    If we’re talking ancient warriors—men trained for life-or-death combat, hardened by war, trained to kill animals, survive harsh conditions, and fight as a unit—then yes, it probably takes significantly fewer than 10 to kill a gorilla, even unarmed.

    Here’s why:

    Ancient Warrior Edge
    • Conditioning: Ancient Greek hoplites, Roman legionaries, Spartan warriors, etc., trained from childhood in pain tolerance, wrestling, pankration (which was no-rules MMA), and weaponless combat.
    • Mindset: These weren’t gym bros—they were killers who’d seen guts spill and kept moving. No hesitation. No fear of death.
    • Coordination: They drilled in units, unlike modern civilians.
    • Fighting Animals: Many were trained to bring down lions, boars, and wolves—so facing a gorilla wouldn’t paralyze them in fear.

    Estimated Number Needed
    • 3–5 highly trained ancient warriors could likely take down a gorilla in coordinated combat, with some casualties.
    • Add improvised weapons—even a bronze dagger, or a spear tip, or armor to absorb blows—and it becomes a much more one-sided fight.
    • Add ropes or nets (common in some gladiator styles), and they could even capture it alive.

    Gorilla’s Edge Still Exists
    • The first guy to close the gap? Might get his head cracked open.
    • But unlike civilians or athletes, ancient warriors wouldn’t stop—they’d keep attacking until it died or they did.

    Bottom line:
    It’s not just about strength. It’s about mental resolve, coordination, and kill instinct. Ancient men had all three in spades.

    Want to run it like a mini-myth or narrative? “The Day the Spartan Fought the Beast”?

  4. @kari3368

    October 3, 2025 at 11:46 am

    The saddest thing is that when they hunt and capture them, the mothers will fight to the death to keep their babies. It should be illegal, these babies need to be raised by their own parents. Why these women don’t understand this, i find very strange.

  5. @im_a_ditty

    October 3, 2025 at 11:46 am

    Okay, HOW is one man so good at different styles of comedy? Observational, situational, physical, imitation..damn! Not saying comedians are only good at one style, but Josh is not just good but talented in each one, which is pretty cool.

  6. @Ace-ace-baby

    October 3, 2025 at 11:46 am

    I believe the chimp incident Josh is talking about is the Travis the chimp incident, I’d recommend looking at the causal geographic video on chimps because I cannot do it justice here but to put it politely, stay the hell away from the Chimps, have a blessed day!

  7. @KeshaLucado

    October 3, 2025 at 11:46 am

    You can can do it Eddy. Our Ancestors, the ones that are responsible for creating these delicious dishing walked and swam so that we could inherit these traditional dishes

  8. @420NerdGirl69

    October 3, 2025 at 11:46 am

    Women were pranking their husbands on YouTube pretending to be on the phone ..like how much money? Hell yes he can do it he's strong as fuckm sign us up…that guy's face…what have you done? Whos going to swing first? That's all I need to know 😂 that first mother fucker is dead 😂

  9. @average_mouse

    October 3, 2025 at 11:46 am

    If we allow for imperfections in the fight, then Gorilla still loses. People see them as blood thirsty when they’re actually very shy and choose to run rather than fight.

  10. @ThePhantom9495

    October 3, 2025 at 11:46 am

    Look, I know the usual type of people who would say the 100 men would win tend to be…off, but I want to put it into a me reasonable perspective:

    Do you think you could beat 100 cats in a fight?

    One hundred is a lot for anything to deal with. 100 of most things could beat 1 of most other things, unless you're going to major extremes, like 100 rats vs 1 elephant.

Comments are closed.




This area can contain widgets, menus, shortcodes and custom content. You can manage it from the Customizer, in the Second layer section.

 

 

 

  • play_circle_filled

    92.9 : The Torch

  • play_circle_filled

    AGGRO
    'Til Deaf Do Us Part...

  • play_circle_filled

    SLACK!
    The Music That Made Gen-X

  • play_circle_filled

    KUDZU
    The Northwoods' Alt-Country & Americana

  • play_circle_filled

    BOOZHOO
    Indigenous Radio

  • play_circle_filled

    THE FLOW
    The Northwoods' Hip Hop and R&B

play_arrow skip_previous skip_next volume_down
playlist_play