Why It’s So Hard to Change Your Life

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Because most things are outside of your control.

this is quite literally it, i have to keep going forward knowing damn well that there will be low points on the way

This came to me in the right time, thanks

What happens if I missed this moment. I know what I should do but I can’t

I've been in a relationship for 5+ years. I'm not happy with my life and myself. Feel like i'm stuck. And thus it feels like my partner is a reflection of myself, and i don't like what i see.

Ambivalent means
having mixed feelings
or contradictory
ideas about something
or someone.

(I've left this comment replying to someone, figured I should put it here as well in case it crosses the path of someone that needs it)

What helped me most wasn’t meds or therapy, but fixing the basics, especially sleep.

Biggest game-changer: light.
Open blinds fully during the day, get daylight.
Then turn lights off about 4 hours before bed and use a blue-light filter (f.lux etc.) to reset your circadian rhythm.

Melatonin: only 0.3 mg, and timing matters.
Most people take it right before bed, which actually messes things up. You want to take it 3–4 hours before your intended bedtime, when your body would naturally start winding down.

Taking it too late and taking too much is where most people go wrong. Higher doses don’t work better. They can disrupt REM sleep, cause more nighttime awakenings, and leave you groggy the next day.
This, on top of light management, completely changed the game for me and for others I’ve suggested it to who actually tried it.
Also, try to stop consuming content that keeps you dwelling on your mental state. It dysregulates your nervous system. Take breaks. Watch shows, play games, walk, do things you enjoy. Let yourself enjoy them without guilt or shame.

When tense, breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth like a sigh. It calms the vagus nerve almost instantly. Small, simple, very effective.

If you use weed or alcohol regularly, taking a break can really help stabilize sleep and mood. You can always return recreationally later. You’ll know when your mind feels calmer and more solid.
Most important: this state isn’t you, it isn’t your fault, and it’s fixable.

Google Neuroplasticity. This is the crux. Remind yourself or realize that you're objectively stuck in a feedback loop that happened to you without realizing. And that the same way it happened the same way you can undo it. It's science, not a matter of self worth.

One of the biggest things that helped me was doing the opposite of my automatic thought loop.
Instead of anxiety, self-hate, I practiced acceptance. It took me a long time to find this angle but everything clicked once I did.
When a negative thought shows up, I don’t fight it. I say:
“It belongs.”
“I welcome this feeling. I’m not afraid of it.”
It feels counterintuitive, and that’s the point. That’s how new pathways form.
It takes a split second, feels weird at first, but it works.

This changed my life more than any meds, therapy, exercise, or “just push through it” advice I was ever given. My anxiety and depression calmed down within months, and I felt a shift almost immediately.

I’ll stop here, but I’m genuinely here if you have questions, need help, or just want to talk. I can even share my Discord if you use it, and that goes for anyone reading this. We should all make more of an effort to support each other as we are the only ones that can understand and therefore truly help.

You can re-regulate. One small step at a time.
Tackle one of my points, you don't have to try them all at once.
Last tip before I forget; writing.
I used to despise the concept as it made me cringe, god knows why.
But once I realised I didn't have to make "journal" type entries, and simply wrote down whatever thoughts were omnipresent that day, even down to something I needed to do etc… Well damn. It really does let your brain let go. Now it's there, on paper, so you don't have to "remember" to think about it. It frees your subconscious in a very effective way. You feel it the next day, especially if you do it before bed when you're overwhelmed by thoughts.
I really recommend it.

Alright, have a peaceful day everyone.

My current job pays me so low, My friends have moved onto much better pay & I feel left out, while I worry about my rent, they travel abroad, although I can see the wasted potential & passing of my youth like a film reel or train, I was just too lazy to take action but I guess I've to take mantle & take action if not for me then for my family atleast, I've less time & more to do in this upcoming 6 months so thank you for this video, although I believe actions define who we are rather than words or lip service so I'll try rather than speak about it…

Disintegration wasn't just The Cure's best album.

Change is pain.

good video helped with my thoughts gave more clarity

it isnt anymore !!

Took me 3 watches to understand and holy shit life feels new and adventurous

That’s why everyone should read Obsidian Mindset of Becoming at least once, for me it hit where other books didn’t

Great topic, keep it going

Very nice, thanks

Thank you for this video

Perfect timing, great video

I love you

I personally think the hardest emotion to deal with is grief. A lot of our struggles with change, expectations and death are mostly about grief

Omg ur cute

I can't believe you will be in Trieste! I live there! Can you tell me more about the project?

This channel heavily reminds me of the horses channel