VIRAL VIDEO: High School Sophomore Sinks Incredible, Unnecessary Half-Court Shot
For More Today Now: http://onion.com/11SqwuB
Ryan Jurgens rode the bench most of the season, but when his coach gave him a chance, it really paid off!
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@jerryking45
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
Outrageously hysterical 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@PBurns-ng3gw
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
Why does this kid remind me of Matt Gaetz?
@PartisanHypocritesEverywhere
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
Huh. I didn't know Ted Cruz used to go by the name "Ryan".
@dharmallars
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
A coach that hot doesn’t deserve players so disrespectful 😔
@Jyaxtoh
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
Kids who think no one can make them do anything, find out later in life that they cant make anyone do anything they want either.
@robloxvids2233
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
The way he looks at the camera then gives the finger gets me every time lol
@azuma909
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
how old is this clip? ted cruz looks so young
@bart869
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
How much would you pay to flip off 468K people (as of Apr 2023) on the Internet and have them enjoy it
@aaronb8194
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
I just noticed the Beacon of Meridia sitting on the back shelf
@briansmith7458
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
Classic
@wendymiles3454
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
What is a typical behavior for children? Has it changed?
@OhHiSpencer
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
Ya'll, is that Dustin from Stranger Things? Am I totally wrong?
@robertthompson3447
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
Yeah, this is exactly like watching regular news talk shows.
@JaredKMarkowitz
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
Please make more of these
@aaronlaluzerne6639
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
And so smug ass Brian was never seen ever again after his first and last appearance on the Onion.
@coralthefool
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
Can’t believe they just had meridia’s beacon on set
@MrExplosion449
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
Is that… Meridia’s beacon in the background?
@BirdGang6
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
“So I’m there, totally open and Fat Mike wouldn’t pass me the ball”
“Michael Kelly he’s not fat”
“So I took the rock”
“Stole it from his teammate”
@davidtaylor6772
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
That kid looks like Ted Cruz.
@degon8086
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
Legend says Jim the reporter is still waiting for Ryan to go play with him
@Zachary999
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
How I feel sometimes
@glameow12345
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
I fucking hate basketball
@elkraft1046
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
I cant believe that the onion managed to archive Ted Cruz's first appearance on tv
@Buphido
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
The coach is my favourite character in this video
@TheCleaner76
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
No one's going to mention his massive travel
@garruscuriosity9791
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
There is a Meridia's beacon in the studio.
@cu5197
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
He reminded me of myself at a young age
@b.e.e.l.i
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
this kid looks like Ted Cruz
@sbergman0894
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
Goat
@35november
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
The smug smile and turn towards the camera at the end was A rank stuff if I ever saw it.
@kendallae
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
FUCK BASKETBALL
@felicityc
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
Can't believe how much this reminds me of when I used to coach Overwatch and how DPS players act
@sevenMOons666
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
I know he’s just acting but man they did a good job of making a kid seem so punchable. 😂😂🤣 the onion is truly brilliant
@at7able
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
These scriptwriters came from the future
@michaelhampner7672
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
I miss "today now".
@jansalomin
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
How's the pork?
@-.._.-_...-_.._-..__..._.-.-.-
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
Includes a paid promotion?
@TheHumanShitpost
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
This was…. weirdly accurate
@johnwalker-fj5gy
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON
@BobGymlan
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
Game of Horse, I’m surprised Jim didn’t want to play a game of—Pig.
🐽
@joywilday4754
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
This was legit my little cousin 🤣
@dcsteele
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
Ted Cruz
@zelimaademba6028
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
😂😂😂
@DR.PEACEE
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
This is the type of a kid that I would gladly go to jail for punching him in the face
@kwvanderlinde
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
Coach has some serious Jeff Bridges vibes!
@larrywexner4163
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
y he look 9 and 22 at the same time.
@takeshiasahi5494
February 12, 2026 at 10:14 am
ur not my dad 😛✌
Comments are closed.