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Nation’s Girlfriends Unveil New Economic Plan: ‘Let’s Move In Together’

The Onion | January 14, 2026



Girlfriends’ spokesperson Kelly Ambrose joins us in the Financial Fallout Shelter to discuss why Boyfriends moving in with them just makes fiscal sense right now.

Written by The Onion

Comments

This post currently has 22 comments.

  1. @TheseAreMyBkmrks

    January 14, 2026 at 1:55 am

    Wow, makes you remember normality, and how it used be before a hate movement took over – now we have things like the Barbie movie about a female anti-male apartheid becoming the most viewed film, and the most played song online is "I can buy my own flowers I can talk to myself for hours" "who needs a man kill all men". Do girls and women at all see what they did to humanity?

  2. @franciscodanconia4324

    January 14, 2026 at 1:55 am

    Look ladies, you don't have to pressure your boyfriend to move in. If he doesn't want to move on. There's plenty of other guys that would be happy to move in with you, have 10% of the closet and bathroom counter space, sneeze from the potpouri in every room, never get to have their buddies over for the game, and be nagged about leaving the toilet seat up. Even more if you're hot.

  3. @dilbertjunkmail

    January 14, 2026 at 1:55 am

    As an old guy from the Future in 2026, moving in with a woman is a bad idea.
    Just take a pile of money soaked in gasoline and add a match.
    Same End Results!

    Status of relationships 2026:
    Women don't need no Men;
    Women prefer a live Bear over any man walking in the woods;
    Women are still hired first over men in all professions except those requiring physical labor, except women don't want those jobs anyway;
    Women will make more money with greater chance of having a college degree, but will still not share her funds with the household that includes any man.

    Same End results

  4. @marcromain64

    January 14, 2026 at 1:55 am

    Considering today's housing and rental market, I would like to formally apologize for every uproarious laugh I let out back then in response to this video.

    And if you're reading this, Sandra, please forgive me. You were right all along.

Comments are closed.




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