How productive arguments can bring us closer together | Bo Seo, Esther Perel, and Dan Shapiro

1. 

   @MegFbear

   October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

   Thank you

2. 

   @vilayphonechoulamany8349

   October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

   Thanks

3. 

   @hyperionsama

   October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

   I just stumbled upon this video and wanted to give my two cents on arguments before watching the video. (I’ll comment my thoughts afterwords).

   But I personally believe “arguing” is generally not constructive. What I attempt to choose is “debating” instead.

   Here is the difference imo, arguments are inherently about WHO is correct and it’s charged with a base of not really wanting to understand the other party. However, debating is about WHAT is correct. And therefore you must understand the other person’s perspective, with all the nuance of that individual.

   And then after sharing both ideas, both can come to a better understanding and perhaps an altogether NEW and IMPROVES idea 🙏

   Anyways. I could go into it more but I think you understand.

   To solve problems, we cannot sink to arguing about who is right, we must rise to having civilized debates where our core goal is to understand one another and attempt to do the most good 🙏

   It’s sounds like an idealized approach, but what’s the alternative? Arguments that lead to destruction?

   Choose wisely 🧠

   Godspeed ⚡️

4. 

   @juliadora3062

   October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

   The music in the background is annoying and too loud. Could barely listen of what the people were saying.

5. 

   @hjtam88

   October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

   Sitting there in an airconditioned room and talks theory about listening to the perspectives of the person that he/she is arguing with….. Hmmm….. intellectual exercise and talk

6. 

   @riffz6065

   October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

   If everyone listened to understand rather than listened to argue, the world would be a much happier place.

7. 

   @LoyalFriend62

   October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

   One of the ways in which I waste time (or try to be useful) is compiling lists of collocations. I attach below an entry in my database. Feel free to share it with friends and foes. Of course, you can also edit the list.

   argument
   
   [310+ collocations for 'argument']
   
   [Many of the collocations here can also be found in "Dictionary of Appropriate Adjectives"
   
   by E. H. Mikhail (2015). Sadly, they are not in alphabetical order there.]

   academic ~
   
   acrimonious ~
   
   ad hominem ~
   
   ad nauseam ~
   
   admissible ~
   
   aforementioned ~
   
   age-old ~ "is a disagreement or debate that has been going on for a very long time."
   
   amateurish ~
   
   amateurishly-presented ~
   
   amazing ~
   
   amazingly [simple/elegant/etc,] ~
   
   ampliative ~ "is an argument that is deductively invalid, meaning that its conclusion contains information that is not present in its premises."
   
   anfractuous ~ "is one that's characterized by windings and turnings.."
   
   archaic ~
   
   articulate ~
   
   avalanche of ~s "… bury your opponent in an avalanche of arguments"
   
   balanced ~
   
   banal ~
   
   basic ~
   
   bilious ~
   
   boring ~
   
   brainless ~
   
   bread-and-butter ~
   
   ceaseless ~(s)
   
   childish ~
   
   choice ~
   
   clear ~
   
   clearly [articulated/…] ~
   
   closing ~
   
   cogent ~
   
   coherent ~
   
   comical ~
   
   compelling ~
   
   complicated ~
   
   conclusive ~
   
   concise ~
   
   constructive ~
   
   contentious ~
   
   convincing ~
   
   cosmological ~
   
   credible ~
   
   crowd-pleasing ~
   
   cumulative ~
   
   [most/strangely/suicidally*/uncommonly/unexpectedly*/…] daring ~
   
   debatable ~
   
   debunked ~
   
   deceptive ~
   
   deceptively [simple/…] ~ "A deceptively simple argument is a seemingly straightforward argument that may have hidden assumptions or flaws."
   
   decisive ~
   
   demagogic ~ "… making a demagogic argument more palatable"
   
   demonstrative ~
   
   disallowed ~
   
   disputable ~
   
   disruptive ~
   
   dissuasive ~ "is an argument that identifies a way to prevent an undesirable outcome."
   
   distasteful ~
   
   distracting ~ "is a type of logical fallacy called a red herring, which is a misleading argument that attempts to divert attention away from the main topic."
   
   divisive ~
   
   domestic ~
   
   double-edged ~
   
   dubious ~
   
   dummy ~
   
   elaborate ~
   
   elegant ~
   
   emotional ~
   
   endless ~
   
   evidence-based ~
   
   exceptionally [well-written /sophisticated/ …] ~
   
   exciting ~
   
   extremist ~
   
   fake ~
   
   fallacious ~
   
   false ~
   
   familiar ~
   
   feeble ~
   
   ferocious ~ "… a ferocious argument among a motley cast of characters"
   
   fierce ~
   
   fiery ~
   
   flimsy ~
   
   forceful ~
   
   forcefully delivered ~ "… the gaps and prejudices within the forcefully delivered argument"
   
   forcible ~
   
   friendly ~
   
   frivolous ~
   
   funny ~
   
   furious ~
   
   futile ~
   
   hackneyed ~
   
   hair-splitting ~
   
   half-baked ~ "… dismissing the lawyer's half-baked argument…"
   
   hard-nosed ~
   
   heated ~ [see also: red-hot ~]
   
   heretical ~
   
   high-minded ~
   
   ill-constructed ~
   
   ill-timed ~
   
   illogical ~
   
   impassioned ~
   
   impeachable ~ “inappropriate but not impeachable” argument
   
   implausible ~
   
   important ~
   
   impregnable ~
   
   impressive ~
   
   impromptu ~
   
   improvised ~
   
   inarticulate ~
   
   incisive ~
   
   incoherent ~
   
   inconclusive ~
   
   inconsequential ~
   
   inconsistent ~
   
   incredible ~
   
   indefensible ~
   
   indisputable ~
   
   indubitable ~
   
   (weak) inductive ~ "is an argument where the conclusion is unlikely to be true, even if the premises are true."
   
   ineffective ~
   
   influential ~
   
   insidious ~
   
   insignificant ~
   
   insincere ~
   
   insolent ~
   
   insoluble ~
   
   intangible ~
   
   intemperate ~
   
   intense ~
   
   interminable ~
   
   intractable ~
   
   intriguing ~
   
   invalid ~
   
   invalidated ~
   
   invulnerable ~
   
   irrational ~
   
   irrefutable ~
   
   irresistible ~
   
   irrelevant ~
   
   [typicall] knee-jerk ~ "is an impulsive, hasty, or irrational response that is often based on preconceived notions."
   
   legitimate ~
   
   limp ~
   
   limpid ~
   
   logical ~
   
   long ~
   
   long-distance ~
   
   long-forgotten ~
   
   long-form ~ "is an extended argument that's more structurally complex than other arguments."
   
   long-overdue ~
   
   long-standing ~
   
   long-winded ~
   
   loose ~
   
   loud ~
   
   make-or-break ~
   
   masterful ~
   
   meaningful ~
   
   meaningless ~
   
   memorable ~ "Most world-class orators understand the importance of rhythm and cadence in creating memorable argument[s]."
   
   memorized ~
   
   meretricious ~ "is a plausible but false or insincere argument."
   
   metaphysical ~
   
   mighty ~
   
   mild ~
   
   modern ~
   
   moral ~
   
   naïve ~
   
   nasty ~
   
   nebulous ~
   
   nonsensical ~
   
   novel ~
   
   no-win ~
   
   obsolete ~
   
   oft-repeated ~ "The evidence flying in the face of that oft-repeated "argument" is…"
   
   ontological ~
   
   oppositional ~
   
   original ~
   
   outdated ~
   
   overdone ~
   
   overused ~
   
   [more] palatable ~
   
   passionate ~
   
   parroted ~
   
   pedantic ~
   
   penetrating ~
   
   perceptive ~
   
   perennial ~
   
   persuasive ~
   
   philosophical ~
   
   plausible ~
   
   point-counterpoint ~
   
   pointless ~
   
   potent ~
   
   powerful ~
   
   practical ~
   
   pragmatic ~
   
   precise ~ "is an argument that identifies the best arguments and emphasizes them."
   
   preferred ~ [structure]
   
   premises of an ~
   
   presuppositional ~ "is a line of reasoning that starts with the assumption that certain starting points are true, called presuppositions."
   
   prevalent ~
   
   principled ~
   
   prolonged ~
   
   propagandistic ~
   
   protracted ~
   
   provable ~
   
   proven ~
   
   provocative ~
   
   puerile ~ "is an argument that is childish or silly, and may show a lack of maturity or good judgment."
   
   rational ~
   
   reasonable ~
   
   recently-penned ~
   
   reckless ~
   
   recurrent ~ "is a disagreement that happens repeatedly"
   
   red-hot ~ "is an argument characterized by intense passion, excitement, or enthusiasm"
   
   refutable ~
   
   religious ~
   
   rowdy ~
   
   scapegoat ~ "is a logical fallacy that involves unfairly blaming a person or group for a problem."
   
   scarecrow ~ [= straw man argument]
   
   scatter-brained ~ "is an argument that may be disorganized, forgetful, or unfocused."
   
   scholarly ~
   
   scholastic ~
   
   scientific ~
   
   seamless ~
   
   senseless ~
   
   series of ~s
   
   serious ~
   
   set of ~s
   
   shaky ~
   
   shallow ~
   
   shrewd ~
   
   silly ~
   
   simple ~
   
   simplified ~ "… a simplified variant of Gödel's Ontological Argument"
   
   simplistic ~
   
   skeptical ~
   
   sly ~
   
   solid ~
   
   sophisticated ~
   
   sound ~
   
   specious ~
   
   speculative ~
   
   spirited ~
   
   spontaneous ~
   
   spurious ~
   
   stereotypical ~
   
   sterile ~
   
   stock ~ "is an argument that is common or ordinary."
   
   straightforward ~
   
   strange ~
   
   straw man ~ "is a fallacy that occurs when someone misrepresents an opponent's argument to make it easier to attack."
   
   striking ~
   
   stringent ~ "is an argument where the premises are so tightly drawn that the conclusion is beyond doubt."
   
   strong ~
   
   stupid ~
   
   substantive ~ "is an argument that is supported by logic or facts and is considered important, real, or meaningful."
   
   subtle ~
   
   succession of ~
   
   supple ~ "… may unpack the dynamics involved in a particular situation."
   
   suspect ~ "… might refer to an argument that is incoherent, meaning it uses multiple arguments to make a point that is not logically possible."
   
   sustainable ~
   
   tedious ~
   
   teleological ~
   
   telling ~
   
   temperate ~
   
   tempestuous ~
   
   tenuous ~
   
   threadbare ~
   
   tight ~
   
   time-honored ~
   
   timeless ~
   
   timely ~
   
   tiresome ~
   
   torrent of ~
   
   tortuous ~
   
   trenchant ~
   
   tricky ~
   
   tried-and-true ~
   
   trifling ~
   
   twin ~s
   
   two-edged ~
   
   typical ~
   
   unanswerable ~
   
   unassailable ~
   
   unavoidable ~
   
   unceasing ~s
   
   unconvincing ~
   
   underappreciated ~ "is a point or concept in a discussion that is ignored or not given enough consideration, despite its potential significance."
   
   underdetermination ~ "is a philosophical ~ that attempts to show that there is no reason to believe a conclusion because the evidence is underdetermined."
   
   underdeveloped ~
   
   unending ~
   
   unfamiliar ~
   
   unflinching ~
   
   unfocused ~
   
   unfortunate ~
   
   unimpeachable ~
   
   unreasonable ~
   
   unseemly ~
   
   unsound ~
   
   unsupported ~
   
   unworthy ~
   
   valid ~
   
   vehement ~ "is a forceful expression of strong feelings or emotions."
   
   vicious ~
   
   vicious circle ~ "An argument or definition that begs the question."
   
   warm ~
   
   watertight ~ "is a carefully-constructed argument that is so sound that it cannot be faulted."
   
   weak ~
   
   weighty ~
   
   well-articulated ~
   
   well-crafted ~
   
   well-knit ~
   
   well-made ~
   
   well-prepared ~
   
   well-reasoned ~
   
   well-researched ~
   
   well-rounded ~ "is a well-researched, well-structured argument that considers multiple points of view and uses a variety of appeals to reason."
   
   well-structured ~
   
   wild ~
   
   winning ~
   
   wrangling ~

   On 12/21/2024, Google found no results for "suicidally daring argument" or "unexpectedly daring argument".

   argument by repetition
   
   Argument from Contingency
   
   burden of proof in an argument
   
   Steel Man Technique
   
   A technique where the best form of the other side's argument is built and then engaged with. This is
   
   "A modern argument is a defeasible passage from premises to a conclusion, meaning that new evidence or contrary arguments can cause the premises to no longer lead to the conclusion."
   
   "An argument can be considered uncommonly daring if it is deliberately intended to upset the other party, rather than to educate or convince…"
   
   An ineffective argument is one that fails to support its conclusion, or is otherwise flawed. different from the "straw man" technique, where one side creates a caricature of the other side's argument and engages with that.
   
   "The oft-repeated argument that every university and every country should have the right to develop its own curricula is only justified if graduates emerge from their courses of study with comparable qualitative levels of training."
   
   A point-counterpoint argument is? a structure that involves summarizing an opponent's argument and then refuting it with your own argument.? The opposing positions are called counterarguments.
   
   An argument or definition that begs the question. It can also refer to a chain of events where the response to one problem creates a new problem that makes the original problem worse.
   
   A sterile argument is a discussion or debate that is unproductive or lacks new ideas, imagination, or energy.
   
   ‘tiresome argument‘ refers to a discussion or debate that is exhausting or monotonous, often implying that it is overextended or lacking in excitement or interest.

8. 

   @JesusGarciaParrado

   October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

   💡

9. 

   @GustavoSilva-ny8jc

   October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

   6:17 The sport analogy was PERFECT, the ideal of "would i be truthful and correct a call if harms my team…?" It's something i think a lot, i think i would but i also fear being alienated by others if i do that, maybe i even lose position in a team or are never hired, aside from the discomfort of being disliked.

10. 

    @Gigifrancetexas

    October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

    French people get it. It’s so hard for me to I’m just a dumb American

11. 

    @Gigifrancetexas

    October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

    The moment we feel threatened we move back. That says it all

12. 

    @MrRatMommy

    October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

    6:00 as soon as we enter a hroup we will fight for our position till the end no matter the atguments, our ears are closing

13. 

    @VincentTurner

    October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

    Turn the music down for the love of comprehension and focus

14. 

    @michele80994

    October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

    So basically it's cooperation vs competition. How come that we work on those issues individually trying to resolve conflict with the finest instruments and on the other side we keep building highly conflictual society? This type of content are helpful and I enjoy watching them but at the same time they're problematic cause they give people a false sense of control when the reality is that, on a higher level, society goes in an other direction. Why we can't speculate on societies? What type of society we would like to live in?

15. 

    @sandyclaflin2844

    October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

    This is a good video. I have always had a hard time with arguments and didn't know how to approach someone when I disagree. This video had some good tips that I am going to try.

16. 

    @rafaeldegiacomoaraujo8778

    October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

    People keep saying how we are divided but the general population has never been so in tune with key issues. Violence is down. Numbers of wars are down.
    We have an elite that divides to conquer. That's it. The general human has never been so peaceful.

17. 

    @ma1ist

    October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

    that aggressive musical score in the background just detracts from the video. it's so annoying

18. 

    @nhannguyen2190

    October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

    I would much rather watching the speakers than the stock footage. Awfully distracting and doesn't add any value.

19. 

    @dameanvil

    October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

    00:32 🛑 Disagreements often lead individuals back to primal instincts of belonging to tribes when feeling threatened, contributing to a tribalistic world.
    01:38 💬 Thomas Hobbes highlighted how minor disputes can escalate, impacting not just relationships but also nations, leading to his suggestion of civil silence, yet underscoring the limitation of a life built solely on agreement.
    03:11 🤝 Starting a disagreement with a bit of agreement helps navigate numerous differences between two people, preventing an argument from becoming an uncontrollable mass of conflicting issues.
    04:11 🔄 Expectations color relationships, influencing how individuals perceive and communicate with others, contributing to the co-creation of each other within relationships.
    05:50 🛡 Emotionally charged conflict triggers defensive tribal thinking, prioritizing group allegiance over substantive arguments, hindering the openness to opposing perspectives.
    06:56 💡 Pre-debate exercises like considering opponent arguments and imagining a loss help mitigate certainty, fostering a moment of understanding and potential humility or empathy.
    08:27 🧠 Depth in communication lies in acknowledging, validating, and empathizing with others' perspectives, promoting a shift from a confrontational dynamic to a collaborative problem-solving approach.
    09:30 💔 Feeling alone despite communication leads to existential crises, emphasizing the importance of making others feel valued and heard during interactions.
    10:04 🤝 Connection stems from acknowledging both similarity and difference, avoiding dominance, and recognizing that encountering others enriches our understanding more than solitary experiences.

20. 

    @MindfulMaverick29

    October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

    Side switch excercise 6:45

21. 

    @CanadaMyHome

    October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

    Are naturally passive people always the ones to make concessions in an argument?

22. 

    @weston.weston

    October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

    Esther is sooooo good.

23. 

    @bridget_clinch

    October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

    You're missing the point that there is a whole movement of anti intellectualism, arguing in bad faith based on wilful ignorance

24. 

    @OusmaneKane18

    October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

    The video I needed to watch

25. 

    @sameerkowshikpatelkhana1860

    October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

    This should be taught in depth in our schools now. It is very relevant for our times to have basic fundamentals of this subject.

26. 

    @JamJestKox

    October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

    Based

27. 

    @djtxxxy

    October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

    incorrect – maybe if people stooped believing things that were wrongs and were just good Christians we'd all get along greayt

28. 

    @felixmichels7948

    October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

    Tribalism is and was the source of every large scale conflict, by definition

29. 

    @magdadrague

    October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

    Bulllshit. That's why over half of the world population is divorcing. I am tired of pseudo psychology-experts.

30. 

    @erika.schyma

    October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

    The B-rolls are very distracting to the message.

31. 

    @sourisooo2434

    October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

    As humans, we cant argue with people we dont know anything: it's like listening a language you have never learn. First, we need to learn the fundamentals rules, then we can figure out what happened. And about learning, the thing is always the same, forget your knowedge, be candide, be naive and you will know what you should know and what really matter. In this way, argue is a medium to confront our own narcissism and love for our own idea and way of thinking: just let it go, dont be harsh with yourself.

32. 

    @picklesdill5462

    October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

    You guys should leave the full interview up again for the public. I know you guys are trying to make money but some of this needs to spread more and make this world a better place. We need more Bo Seos'! Less flat earthers…

33. 

    @aih9856

    October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

    music is not suitable and distracting

34. 

    @frugalcode

    October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

    Dude's sneakers are lit

35. 

    @kapils4113

    October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

    epic

36. 

    @unknownfilmmaker777

    October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

    I came here for a good argument.
    No you didn't.

37. 

    @maemilev

    October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

    Try tolerating the islam religion that teaches one to circumcised their children and play loud fecaI music at their mosque daily disturbing other people peace!

38. 

    @zebripunk

    October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

    Interesting content, but the stressful music makes it hard to listen to the people

39. 

    @fluentinoverthinking

    October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

    I made some friends after politely arguing with them 😂 Some books also helped me a lot like (‘Talking to crazy’). When I got my first job in sales (I am not a sales-person whatsoever!) my management decided to place me in a claim department 😅 I was talking to the most angry/upset customers but no one ever screamed or insulted me. I guess the main point is to empathise with a person you’re talking to and instead of treating them as your opponent with a different worldview treat them as a teammate with the shared goal – to find mutual understanding.

40. 

    @360.Tapestry

    October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

    i'll have to agree to disagree with those shoes, bro

41. 

    @creativetake_1

    October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

    WOW! This clicks on so many levels.
    "We create the others in relationships and in communication. It's why we are not the same person with different people, because those people make part of who we are." ❤️❤️

42. 

    @fai8t

    October 10, 2025 at 5:07 pm

    everything falls into its place when you ask one question

    Do you condemn Israel?

Comments are closed.