Female Scientists Say Domestic Abuse Not Problem
According to a team of female researchers who all recently sustained injuries due to various accidents, domestic abuse does not exist.
More coverage at: http://onion.com
According to a team of female researchers who all recently sustained injuries due to various accidents, domestic abuse does not exist.
More coverage at: http://onion.com
Written by The Onion
This post currently has 32 comments.
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@odessa-d9k
November 16, 2025 at 3:35 pm
This is cool
@heathwolfe4579
November 16, 2025 at 3:35 pm
Never raise a hand to a Woman. Have more restraint before it becomes physical. Always let the fighting end in civility than in physicality. Always keep a cool head. Always be mindful of the law about Domestic Violence. Always be mindful of Her feelings. It hurts Her deeply when You call Her a name so imagine what a bruise feels like. They say that emotional abuse is worse because being called a bad name lingers more than physical abuse. The bottom line is this: Any form of Domestic Violence is bad so refrain from doing it. Violence really doesn't solve anything. It just makes everything worse and You could spend alot of time behind bars.
Get mad at Her
Just walk away
Because She isn't
worth going to jail over.👌👍👌👍👌👍
@robinly
November 16, 2025 at 3:35 pm
Domestic abuse is funny
@enjolras76
November 16, 2025 at 3:35 pm
oh dear.
@LanceSiedle
November 16, 2025 at 3:35 pm
Sticks and stones may break my bones but tears will leave a stain… https://youtu.be/w1vud05G3Ac
@ElanaVital83
November 16, 2025 at 3:35 pm
I once got a black eye at a mosh pit. I was supposed to be working but called out. Next day my boss sensed I was lying when I claimed I fell out the bath tub and thought my boyfriend did it 😅
For weeks after, everyone kept whispering around me 😬
@despinoza6205
November 16, 2025 at 3:35 pm
No. The Onion is their own crew. Independent
@veganbutterfly3652
November 16, 2025 at 3:35 pm
Is this SNL?
@LizardKing5983
November 16, 2025 at 3:35 pm
Ibam a survivor of horribly violent abuse at the claws of my family, schools and religous institutions.
That being said this is absolutely hilarious
@natebrown6440
November 16, 2025 at 3:35 pm
I finally realize now that my mom was a liar, not a victim….
@kevenquinlan
November 16, 2025 at 3:35 pm
Finally, something a woman says that's worth listening to. hahaha, just kidding.
@lancatemujhin187
November 16, 2025 at 3:35 pm
Welcome to 2025
@Michael_H_Nielsen
November 16, 2025 at 3:35 pm
Republican politicians
@MsrSiris
November 16, 2025 at 3:35 pm
Or-a-gone? LOL
@temwananinkana3419
November 16, 2025 at 3:35 pm
I shudnt laugh 😂😂😂😂 oh ghosh the onion news 😂😂😂😂😂
@Christobanistan
November 16, 2025 at 3:35 pm
There's an entire hour long episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm dedicated to this joke!
@bernardkiljanski4312
November 16, 2025 at 3:35 pm
Bruh 💀
@Cris_Morales_CR
November 16, 2025 at 3:35 pm
As someone that’s being harassed, insulted, told to castrate, interrupted at work, interrupted while sleeping, called pedophile; and as a witness of my mother also being insulted daily in her apartment by sounds emitted through the plumbing I find this hilarious.
I wonder if these researchers also reached out for help to the FBI, workplace and local psychiatric professionals 🤣.
p.s.: I almost forgot the slight electrocutions during my sleep and leisure.
@DavidStewart-np3cj
November 16, 2025 at 3:35 pm
Do people really beat their wives? There’s no way this happens in real life. At most, I’d think they’d be raped for withholding sex. But why would you try hurt someone you live with? This doesn't happen. Theres no way.
@sarunas8002
November 16, 2025 at 3:35 pm
is it obvious that these women were abused themselves ? Looks like US is sinking in this MAGA madness…. stupid americans
@Drosenv
November 16, 2025 at 3:35 pm
Onion, you never stop being relevant…
@smacman68
November 16, 2025 at 3:35 pm
This is sadly true. I work with a woman who came to work before with black eye, fat lips and chunks of hair kicked out of her head. She always had a crazy story about what happened. Her husband was actually arrested for domestic violence and guess who bailed him out? Yep. While out on bail he nearly killed her and they rearrested him and revoked his bond. She was desperate to get him out of jail even though he beat her to an inch of her life. Like an insect caught in the web and returns to the spider willingly. So sad
@DanielaBodoh
November 16, 2025 at 3:35 pm
If The Onion says it, we all know it's 10000000% true!!!!
@thegreatinterpreter8382
November 16, 2025 at 3:35 pm
My wife accidently fell into my fist. She keeps doing it, every time she brings it up.
@evelynbaker6715
November 16, 2025 at 3:35 pm
This shit
@DennisSullivan-q2r
November 16, 2025 at 3:35 pm
Yikes!!!!!!!
@milesh3651
November 16, 2025 at 3:35 pm
Those women know what's good for them.
@primaveral-s8s
November 16, 2025 at 3:35 pm
This video came out 1 day after i was born. This is now an important video to me. The news as old as me… wow it's like a glimpse into the past of exactly what real life was like according to an authentic news source from the time i was born
@chrispoe8404
November 16, 2025 at 3:35 pm
And now let’s hear from a “ Feminist”, if we can now FIND one!! When this type of thing happens they go SILENT.
@ftroop8462
November 16, 2025 at 3:35 pm
What are they lampooning here exactly, victims of domestic abuse in denial?
@cwinowich
November 16, 2025 at 3:35 pm
If only women were more honest, the world would be a better place for everyone
@amanda3172
November 16, 2025 at 3:35 pm
i dont get it. most of their videos are funny because the humor shines truth but this has no irony or realism attached
Comments are closed.