The friendship recession | Richard Reeves

네가 사는 사회 무섭다.
나랑 많이 안 맞고.
예를 들어, 나 고모랑 화해 했거든?
고모가 나에게 눈치를 줬어.
완전한 화해는 아니라고.
그런데 그 눈치를 내가 빌려주기로한 1000만원 현찰을 인도하기 전에 줬어.
즉, 고모는 고모가 나한테 완전한 화해는 아니라고 눈치를 준다고 해서 -> 내가 고모를 공격하기 위해 그 1000만원을 갑자기 안 빌려준다고 하지는 않을 거라고 생각했다는 뜻이지.
즉, 내가 사는 레벨의 사회에서는 둥글둥글해.
너가 사는 레벨의 사회처럼 뾰족하지 않아.
뾰족= 친구 아님 적. 적은 공격 대상.
둥글. 친구 아님 적. 적이어도 공격 대상은 아니고 멀리하고 피하는 대상.
네가 사는 사회 나랑 너무 안 맞는다.
왜 공격을 하냐ㅠㅠ
심지어 내가 no war no war 여러번 말했잖아?
공격하지 말라고ㅠㅠ
왜 공격을 하는 거야 자꾸ㅠㅠ
나 너 공격 받았을 때 진짜 너가 아픈 만큼 나도 아팠어.
믿거나 말거나.

내가 계속 말 했지.
난 내 아기를 낳아주는 여자만 사랑한다고.
난 다 선 조건 후 사랑이라고.
그게 내 사랑법이라고.
내가 무조건적으로 네 편들어주길 원하면 내 아기 빨리 낳아라.

I gave up on friendship. Father doesn’t ever talk to me. Others try to kill you or harm you financially. So. For me. Life is safer alone.

I agree with this description. I have found that friendship has turned into predatory behavior. The transactional way people interact- you see this in the hookup apps. No one is altrusitic. Been burned by so many “friends” that friendship has become dangerous. Drugs. Money. Hate.

I need a friend

That Fred and Barney thing was overrated anyway 🙏😎

Maybe you could do a video on the negative health effects of having bad or unhealthy “friendships.” The stress, the drama.

What about young women?

Internet and many "influencers" divide people by telling them they are special or better than others …the sigmas, alfas, gamas (all bullshit) , the extrovert, introvert, the supposed "toxic" people, the "true" or "untrue" christian, gay or not gay, democrat or republican, income inequality, those who get dates and those who dont, etc, etc.

Who needs friends when I'm surrounded by idiots and they all say I'm the imposter.

I want to share my recent experience:
Im a 24yr old male and have had many past friends, they've almost always been surface level, because I was mostly finding myself and that nonchalantness was expected (due to society and etc). More recently ive experienced alot in the real world and grown as a person to the point where I no longer hold interest in maintaining surface level friendships, I know who I am and what I can offer and provide, and that is Support, compassion, and consideration.
Coincidentally thats what I expect from my friendships now too, because why should I be the only one being human in this relationship?
Now on to my most recent experience.
I had a friend, lets call him X, now ive known X gor over a year and weve hanged out alot, we went hiking together, even with his GF and his other friend. When i entered our friendship I promised to myself Ill be the friend he deserves and the truest friend he can ask for, i wanted to be there for him, i want him to be happy and find value in our friendship. And so it went on we got close and generally got along well. There were stumbling points, but what friendship doesnt? The important thing was that I made sure to communicate through the issues and it always worked out. Untill one day. One evening actually.
The week prior he had broken up with his GF and reached out to me, I could tell he was scared and unsure as to what to do or expect. So i offered to have him spend that weekend by me, we hung out, we drank, watched movies and even went for walks cause ofc theres only so much you can do at home.
Towards the end of this weekend, once I was sure he felt better, I asked him something..at the time I thought not much cause I thought the answer was obvious. Anyway, that question was, "am I ur best friend?".
His answer was at first silence and then followed up with, "I dont really have best friends".
Obviously this struck me, but I didnt pay it much mind until after he left and the next week began. Through out the nxt week the feeling kept scratching at me and it made me look closer into our friendship and I came to the worrying conclusion that im jst his surface level friend.
So I decided to put this to the test and acted the same to him as he did to me.
Needless to say he got very upset and scolded me, claiming my behavior was unwarranted and he didnt deserve it. I thought abt it and responded with an apology and explained how I felt and why I did what I did.
All I wanted was recognition for the effort i put into our friendship and the support I provide, and I made this clear to him. He however took offense to this? He claimed he doesnt need to care because according to him 'im not his gf' so who am I to expect better?

You can imagine what this did to me.
Yet I still tried to be understanding and explain why his actions hurt me, but he kept making himself out to be the victim? Never once did he apologize for how he made me feel or anything, he just kept justifying his actions.
(This was all over text)
Eventually he simply told me im being "too much" and ended the friendship.

I still think abt all this alot cause it sent me into a hectic spiral of depression but luckily my other true friend was there to help me out of it.

This is what I mean when I say i dont want surface level friendships. All I wanted was recognition and appreciation from X, but all I got was…well anger.

Im not rushing into any other friendships again. I hope that makes sense.

If you read this far, thanks, and I hope you find the strength to value urself like the true friend you deserve ❤

It sucks when you stop making all the effort, and most of your "friends" disappear.

My biggest issue to making/keeping friends is that most people want more than they're giving. They want free babysitting, they want to use me as their free therapist, they want help with things but won't check in on you or ask you how you're doing.

The meaning of "friend" varies a lot and is very subjective. I know people that have a lot of "friends" but in my book they are just business acquaintances, not friends. In my own definition I have no friends.
Practical Japanese came up with a new concept, there you can hire a friend. Mostly like in New York where for many people their best friend is their psychiatrist, at the rate of a few hundred dollars per hour. Japanese hired friends are much cheaper.

Gov is to blame, they want people fighting and at war, in order to make money, work and then are more easily controlled by gov. People have fallen for it hook line and sinker! But actually, I do not believe people need to have friends, to be a ‘whole and complete’ person.

Unfortunately, he is right

yes .. the virus revealed who are the superficial acquaintances and who might be a friend … the virus that altered society ..

The scene in Finding Forrester when Sean Connery explains what his new friendship meant to him hits hard.

Also, nobody cares about male loneliness, society would rather see men suicide

it's true I guess. I have a ton of close friends whom I hang out with everyday. We are connected through video games, school friends and even extra curricular friends though there's no one that trustworthy enough for me to express my feeling. I have tried once in the past but my feeling seemed to be nothing but a one-side rambling to them so whenever something clouds my mind, i will just take advice from my parents