Chippendales Recalls 4,000 Tons Of Tainted Man Meat
The massive recall comes after more than 300 people reported falling ill after coming into contact with a wide variety of potentially contaminated beefcakes.
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@Cyromantik
July 24, 2026 at 5:29 pm
So the new epidemic to sweep North America will be explosive gonorrhea?
@joemalinchalk1314
July 24, 2026 at 5:29 pm
Try harder; this isn't really funny.
@JoeMelvinstein
July 24, 2026 at 5:29 pm
The Onion has done an amazing job of bouncing back after real world absurdity made political satire impossible. They were resilient and it paid off with this retooling. (Pun intended)
@hill3016
July 24, 2026 at 5:29 pm
The tate brothers provided two Vienna sausages.
@christophermurphy1024
July 24, 2026 at 5:29 pm
Cum gutter shortage! I’m dead💀
@ronnicolas4001
July 24, 2026 at 5:29 pm
According to one official, the tainted meat is easy to spot: "One needs only to look for purple blouses, capri pants and ballet slippers."
@scharpfster
July 24, 2026 at 5:29 pm
🤣🤣🤣🤣 the best reporting for the last 3 decades, more trusted than any political aligned tv station
@iGame3D
July 24, 2026 at 5:29 pm
Turns out it wasn't the Taylor Farms lettuce after all.
@rubixcetera
July 24, 2026 at 5:29 pm
clicked for the man meat, stayed for the pets with hats
@robertmowrey2009
July 24, 2026 at 5:29 pm
Tucker Dripwagon… chef kisses
@Hahahahaaahaahaa
July 24, 2026 at 5:29 pm
Kamala still getting strays from the onion in 2026 is what I'm here for.
@timothydukeman7619
July 24, 2026 at 5:29 pm
Tucker Dripwagon! Bwahaha!
@IxDeepOne
July 24, 2026 at 5:29 pm
1:55 RIP Tucker Dripwagon. You were too hot for this world.
@HalpatterTustenuggee888
July 24, 2026 at 5:29 pm
Tucker Dripwagon 🤣
@ZsoltPal23092011
July 24, 2026 at 5:29 pm
And this is the end of woke meat. Is there a Chippendale Milk? Might want to look into that too.
@ttttypes
July 24, 2026 at 5:29 pm
😮😭
@hyena280
July 24, 2026 at 5:29 pm
Put a little hat on your pet!
@oscarorozcoorejel
July 24, 2026 at 5:29 pm
Oh thank the gods no gays with good taste in men where hurt
@_photonx6017
July 24, 2026 at 5:29 pm
0:40 Tucker Dripwagon? Oh, God. I’m going to have to double-check this report at InfoWars first!
@grimnirnacht
July 24, 2026 at 5:29 pm
Don't tell the orcs, meats back off the menu
@adpirtle
July 24, 2026 at 5:29 pm
All those poor bachelorettes 😢
@andysedgley
July 24, 2026 at 5:29 pm
Tucker Dripwagon? I just ate one of those at McDonald's! Am I screwed?
@WoodrowDale
July 24, 2026 at 5:29 pm
DOGE cuts to USDA, man meat safety went to hell 📉🪰💩🪰. Sorry ladies. Try to hold your noses, grin and bear it.
@doublepinger
July 24, 2026 at 5:29 pm
My monocle popped out when she said "c*mgutter"
@blueprairiedog
July 24, 2026 at 5:29 pm
Can't comment. I have to put a little hat on my pet.
@Tonyhouse1168
July 24, 2026 at 5:29 pm
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas…except the salmonella
@TheUltimateBlooper
July 24, 2026 at 5:29 pm
I love the presenter. What a pro 🙂
@WeazelJaguar
July 24, 2026 at 5:29 pm
Don't worry, they didn't swallow!
@ThatOpalGuy
July 24, 2026 at 5:29 pm
thanks for the laugh, it was needed.
@davidroosa4561
July 24, 2026 at 5:29 pm
JFK, jr strikes again
@SupremeInvigilator
July 24, 2026 at 5:29 pm
Worry not. I am still around.