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HP Offers ‘That Cloud Thing Everyone Is Talking About’

The Onion | February 19, 2026



HP announced they’re making a new push into cloud computing and that they totally know what that is.

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Written by The Onion

Comments

This post currently has 46 comments.

  1. @demaciu88

    February 19, 2026 at 1:42 am

    Woah, this was 13 years ago and he just casually predicted 5G, it's like a time conspiracy prediction thing, I wonder if they knew about flat earth back then too?

  2. @HitchhikerWithTowel

    February 19, 2026 at 1:42 am

    I'm just gonna say it. Gary Klinman and that HP letter sound… distressingly similar to certain current "politicians".
    Same exact vague statements offering nothing substantial and clearly bullshitting through every bit of it.

  3. @LTEKMU2LOUB

    February 19, 2026 at 1:42 am

    the cloud works by adding a corporate branded logo and intuitive interface for magnet link torrents that encourage uploading from the stored file to someone else (seeding) and downloading a copy from someone else's stored file to your location (peering). originally for R rated movies, parental advisory music, and porn catalogues. chat is limited since it software dematerializes regularly, leading to unreliable functionality. torrent itself is anonymized ftp scraping, which runs on email account activated web url file hosting and hypertext transfer. which is an infant web aol era tech wonder. before that we had excel and word, but not enough schooling in math and writing to make use of them.

  4. @runed0s86

    February 19, 2026 at 1:42 am

    I just had a hell of a time cleaning the hp software off of a hp computer. It took 3 hours to uninstall McAfee. It took 8 to figure out how to uninstall all of the parts of hp support assistant. You have to reinstall it to uninstall it 💀

  5. @matchc0635

    February 19, 2026 at 1:42 am

    I heard they are now also offering the "AL" everyone's talking where they got a guy named Ale who will chat with you on voice chat, or FAX if you will! Exciting!

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