menu Home chevron_right
PHILOSOPHY

3 Tips on Negotiations, with FBI Negotiator Chris Voss | Big Think

Big Think | September 25, 2025



3 Tips on Negotiations, with FBI Negotiator Chris Voss
New videos DAILY: https://bigth.ink
Join Big Think Edge for exclusive video lessons from top thinkers and doers: https://bigth.ink/Edge
———————————————————————————-
Negotiating is hard, and it’s even harder when there is something you really want. The stakes are higher, and you may not know how to get the upper hand. Negotiating takes skill, it’s something that a person needs to hone over time through practice, so they can carefully judge when to swoop in for a win and when to hold back. It’s a delicate, instinctual art. But it can definitely be learned.
———————————————————————————-
CHRIS VOSS:

Chris Voss is the Founder and CEO of the Black Swan Group Ltd. He has used his many years of experience in international crisis and high stakes negotiations to develop a unique program and team that applies these globally proven techniques to the business world. Prior to 2008, Chris was the was the lead international kidnapping negotiator for the Federal Bureau of Investigation, as well as the FBI’s hostage negotiation representative for the National Security Council’s Hostage Working Group. During his government career he also represented the U.S. Government at two (2) international conferences sponsored by the G-8 as an expert in kidnapping. Prior to becoming the FBI lead international kidnapping negotiator, Christopher served as the lead Crisis Negotiator for the New York City Division of the FBI. Christopher was a member of the New York City Joint Terrorist Task Force for 14 years. He was the case agent on such cases as TERRSTOP (the Blind Sheikh Case – Sheikh Omar Abdel-Rahman), the TWA Flight 800 catastrophe and negotiated the surrender of the first hostage taker to give up in the Chase Manhattan bank robbery hostage taking.

During Chris’s 24 year tenure in the Bureau, he was trained in the art of negotiation by not only the FBI, but Scotland Yard and Harvard Law School. He is also a recipient of the Attorney General’s Award for Excellence in Law Enforcement and the FBI Agents Association Award for Distinguished and Exemplary Service. Chris currently teaches business negotiation in the MBA program as an adjunct professor at University of Southern California’s Marshall School of Business and at Georgetown University’s McDonough School of Business. He has taught business negotiation at Harvard University, guest lectured at The Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University, The IMD Business School in Lausanne, Switzerland and The Goethe School of Business in Frankfurt, Germany. Since 2009 Christopher has also worked with Insite Security as their Managing Director of the Kidnapping Resolution Practice.
———————————————————————————-
TRANSCRIPT:

Chris Voss:  The secret to gaining the upper hand in negotiations is giving the other side the illusion of control. And the illusion of control is typically best given with either questions that begin with the words what or how. Well what and how should be the form of nearly any question where you’re trying to gather information. And it’s actually one of the ways we say no. The first and best way to say no to anyone is how am I supposed to do that? Now the other side actually has no idea as to the number of things you’ve done with them at the same time. You conveyed to them you have a problem. It’s something that we also referred to as forced empathy because one of the reasons why we exercise tactical empathy is because we want the other side to see us fairly. We want them to see our position; we want them to see the issues we have; we want them to see the constraints that we have.

And when you say to somebody, “How am I supposed to do that?” You make them take a look at your situation before they respond. And they think about it in a number of different ways. And a number of different people I’ve coached through negotiations who have felt completely helpless, they felt completely taken hostage, in the one instance where a woman thought she was taken hostage to the future and she just wasn’t getting paid. They called her up to give her more work and we taught her to say, trained her, counseled her to say, “How in my supposed to do that?” They thought about it for a while and they said, “You’re right you can’t.”

I’ve noticed that response is not word for word directly responsive to her question, what they responded to was they felt like she said to them, I can’t do this any more. I’ve reached my limit. And it’s a way to establish a limit in a way that doesn’t back the other side into a corner. You really want to be able to let out no a little bit at a time. And the first way to start letting …

For the full transcript, check out https://bigthink.com/videos/chris-voss-on-how-to-gain-the-upper-hand-in-negotiations

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

Written by Big Think

Comments

This post currently has 38 comments.

  4. @dsm2240

    September 25, 2025 at 9:01 am

    Bad managers (especially in restaurants and retail) act like drill sergeants. They fail to realize that making their employees feel valued is critical.

  7. @markanderson3870

    September 25, 2025 at 9:01 am

    This is all great, and I'm sure with a lot of people these techniques work. But if you go into a negotiation knowing exactly what you want, have a "hard" position you'll negotiate down from and what flexibility you have when you go into negotiation, these techniques should get filtered out. Best case scenario, people are happy with what you decided you're okay with before you negotiate and basically get what you want.

  10. @krrrruptidsoless

    September 25, 2025 at 9:01 am

    The people that came up with profiling are now claiming to be negotiators..😆

    I bet this whole spectrum of videos makes you either feel like the dust in the bottom corner of a cardboard box or dust as it's being blown around an enclosed cardboard box that you can then escape and become the person holding the box so as to believe you're in control

  13. @garret1930

    September 25, 2025 at 9:01 am

    This style of mirroring is also very useful in the Socratic method and in Street epistemology, instead of attempting to negotiate yourself a great deal, you negotiate them into having a more solid epistemology which helps everyone and especially you in the long run.

  27. @cds12261

    September 25, 2025 at 9:01 am

    It's "Cognitive Ease" tactics, People scientifically respond better to things that they perceive to be true/positive. Same thing goes for a simple font that's used in a contract, test, etc. Your body language is just as effective too!

  29. @aneesehamudi7665

    September 25, 2025 at 9:01 am

    How about this "f bomb"…" WE WILL FUCKING KILL YOU IF YOU DONT COMPLY,THERE IS A SNIPER WITH A LASER ON YOUR FOREHEAD,WE DON'T WANT TO KILL YOU BUT YOU'RE ABOUT TO LEAVE US NO CHOICE UNLESS YOU COMPLY"

  31. @anthonypc1

    September 25, 2025 at 9:01 am

    Can this guy do a seminar and teach liberal activists these tips, so they can stop provoking the opposite response from everyone they're yelling at?
    I'm actually interested in PERSUADING people who Don't already have the same opinions as me, But it's becoming increasingly extra difficult when everyone is being primed to be on the defense or combative when any political subject is even broached. Basic social skills and a little ego death might do the trick to start turning this polarized shitshow around.

  33. @tomhiggins5303

    September 25, 2025 at 9:01 am

    Jedi mind tricks only work on the weak.
    I mean that seriously. If you have someone who is also well versed in these techs or is at least aware of them or for just a second you seem insincere they wont work and your cover is blown. Often times Machiavellian types employ these grand techs thinking that they are concealing there intentions but just the lack of info can be a hint as to your true motives. Someone could easily pretend to go along with these techs just to see what kind of cards you are holding. A strong opening in chess just alows you to get to the middle game if the other person is well versed. Ive never known a Machiavellian type to be too bright either. Most of the time they are just interested in affect and effect than the actual theory.

  36. @B3Band

    September 25, 2025 at 9:01 am

    So many experts in the comments haha
    "This would never work on me!" Yeah, that's why you work for the FBI and Chris Voss is writing comments on YouTube…oh wait…

  37. @williamrussellmorley

    September 25, 2025 at 9:01 am

    I was very surprised how when I called 911 to get state police in what many would think country bumpkin state of Maine….instead of the person answering in a seemingly rude or even accusatory manner the woman spoke to me more in vernacular and calm, almost like my mother would speak or talk to me as a child…I was calling about a woman whom I think had had a seizure ….it was such a fresh easy 911 call not that I have made many…but even though maine a small fairly poor state…somebody is on the ball at the state police about answering 911 calls in a way as this guy explains…kudos to maine state police

Comments are closed.

Related
What Is Nostalgia & Why Is It So Important?
Pursuit of Wonder | April 17, 2026
Related
Steven Pinker on Language | Big Think
Big Think | April 17, 2026
Related
4 Ways of Thinking About Abstract Objects – Philosophy Tube
Philosophy Tube | April 17, 2026

This area can contain widgets, menus, shortcodes and custom content. You can manage it from the Customizer, in the Second layer section.

 

 

 

Go to album
  • play_circle_filled

    92.9 : The Torch

  • play_circle_filled

    AGGRO
    'Til Deaf Do Us Part...

  • play_circle_filled

    SLACK!
    The Music That Made Gen-X

  • play_circle_filled

    KUDZU
    The Northwoods' Alt-Country & Americana

  • play_circle_filled

    BOOZHOO
    Indigenous Radio

  • play_circle_filled

    THE FLOW
    The Northwoods' Hip Hop and R&B

play_arrow skip_previous skip_next volume_down
playlist_play