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The Tale of Michael Malloy

Sam O'Nella Academy | June 29, 2026



I used the Smithsonian’s account of this as my main reference so if you have some beef about somewhere else giving slightly different details, take it up with them

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Intro and outro song:

“Brandenburg Concerto No. 4 in G, Movement I (Allegro), BWV 1049” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Written by Sam O'Nella Academy

Comments

This post currently has 20 comments.

  1. @aidenthompson9917

    June 29, 2026 at 5:41 pm

    So apparently ethanol is the standard medical antidote for wood alcohol poisoning and so because Malloy basically had ethanol running in his system at like all times it helped him survive the wood alcohol

  2. @lonelywolf3539

    June 29, 2026 at 5:41 pm

    ok, sorry to be that guy although im sure you only left out this information because of time constraints, but his story is even cooler.
    1. the life insurance fraud ploy the bartenders wanted to do wasnt their invention… it was something he did to someone else before that. he got some old lady (that didnt have any living relatives) he knew and told her he'd let her stay at his apartment rent free if shed put him as the beneficiary on her insurance policy… a few days later during a stormy winter night, he dragged her out into the night and covered her in snow. she died shortly after and the autopsy saw it as pneumonia (he was broke as hell at the)
    2.the ploy on him wasnt only between the three people you talked about at some point there were like 8 different bar customers (including someone with relations to the mafia iirc)
    3. before they decided to just fill his lungs until he died they got to a point where all the alcohol he was drinking outpriced the expected amount they would get from the insurance
    4.one of the guys went behind the others back and put like 2 more insurance policies but when he wanted to cash them out they wanted him to bring the body, but they already buried it so he just took the L
    5. the only reason the cops caught them is because they told everybody the story and how he wouldnt die, and a cop ended up hearing it.
    i remember they also tried a few more ways to kill him before, but i dont remember exactly how, and i also remember that when he came back from the truck thing he said a really badass line, unfortunately i dont remeber what it was, i do remember that when he came back he was complaining about how he couldnt drink anything at the hospital and how he couldnt wait to get back to "his great buddy" (the bartender).

    im sure noone will see this seeing how old this video is, but if even one person learns something from this, it would make this whole rant worth it.

  3. @fluxemoment

    June 29, 2026 at 5:41 pm

    the funny part about methanol and antifreeze specifically is they’re both broken down into toxic components by the same enzyme that breaks down ethanol, except that ethanol is a competitive inhibitor. so his excessive drinking was literally the thing keeping him alive.

  4. @theodoreroosevelt2154

    June 29, 2026 at 5:41 pm

    3:02 the reason why he somehow survived this is because the bartender would give him normal liquor first so Malloy would be too drunk to get suspicious. Unfortunately for the conspirators, using normal alcohol to combat methanol poisoning is a very effective way to avoid dying. The alcohol binds to the receptors first, so the methanol just passes through with nothing to bind to, and therefore it has no effect.

  5. @Karum

    June 29, 2026 at 5:41 pm

    [ Quartet has David Malloy and the Half Sisters btw also Half Sisters in the Irish and Lads as Lasses meaning ]
    Side AA Quintet Missing Quartet

    5 players : 0s, 3s, 19s, 27s, 69s : Played Simultaneously
    Malloys before the 1960's vs 1860's with Malloys pirates
    Long list of stunning disasters tied to insurance companies, arrests, harassment
    & no wonder they put a hit on this guy
    The are they Greek, French, or Irish games of the 1920s

    —Recording Splits
    … I'm busy tracking Quarks through this guys brain while I do stupid stuff all day
    … Local municipality courts who don't know how to account for my brain and heart data or anything really
    … Funny guy programming …
    ===== Variation =====
    [ How I talk to Sam O'Nella or Vanilla or Raspberry or Nutella or whatever it is when I made this in 2011 ]
    Side BB Quintet Missing Quartet
    5 players : 0s, 2s, 24s, 42s, 96s : Played Simultaneously
    Somalians in New York for fake Laundry Detergent
    or this Malloy loans?
    … Lazarus Effect and Alcoholics Anonymous ….
    —Recording Splits
    4 players ends on electrons and excitons when the 5th drops off
    3 players goes into executions and executions when the 4th drops off
    2 players thanks Sam, As always, for allowing GhettoBlaster O'Nella & thankyou time travelers for watching

  6. @BluejayMarin

    June 29, 2026 at 5:41 pm

    this makes me so sad, there was probably a point during all this where Malloy thought these guys were his best buddies, all giving him free drinks and meals and the like

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