The Paradox of Being Nice

john is a sigma lone wolf who is goated in the sauce

That's the thing, I dont know how to be myself, cause i dont know who i really am

Wow ….just wow

I've never been a people pleaser or did anything for someone to say they're proud of me, but I do like being alone because then I can be me.

I simply connect much easier to the spiritual…to the whole, the holy, to God when I'm alone. I Love my alone time 🙏💕

everyone in this world is so broken from inside, we all are not who we are anymore. I myself did and do everything to make myself fit in a group and in the end, I always never succeed. So lost in life, I don't even know who I was or who I am now.

Make sure that when you make the most important choices in life you be yourself.

i had this mindset, but i guess after my best friend abandoned me over one small argument i had clarity. i gave so much and offered just as much even if i didn't have a lot, and the 10 years we shared were wasted with her own immaturity. i figured, if people can up and leave like that, why would i waste more of my time being a doormat and just giving all the time? why would i want to put all that emotional strain on myself for approval, when said approval can just vanish out of thin air? it's been a few months since then and i feel a bit better now, i try to act authentically and not always bend to people's will while still being mannerly or whatnot. you know, the last thing i ever said to my ex best friend was that i would be waiting for her. i don't think i want to wait on anyone to be happy anymore

this is so real

legend

I honestly find this fascinating… but as much as I tried to relate to it, I cannot. I act dumb sometimes, I do essentially play parts to make others happy, but it's not really for me, at least more often it is for others than myself. I do want to be liked or loved by those I care about, but I also want to be real and honest and not lie, and I enjoy seeing people smile and knowing people's aspirations. I think even those people I know in real life would likely never see me as being as "nice" or "good" of a person as this fictitious "John" character is, but i'm more real. I have struggled with identity in my life, but about the only thing i've ever been able to consistently try and do was make people smile, even when i'm feeling so bad that i can't smile. Maybe that's basically who I am then, i'm not really sure. But I do know that i like seeing people smile and being happy and honestly, i kinda like being anonymous sometimes when doing nice things because i'd rather not be known. I hope anything good i've done may have caused a chain reaction of other people to do good too. I also don't like people paying attention to or staring at me, really, because i'm quite anti-social. Even though I do act different around my family as my friends and alone… the differences are not that big, usually quite small if anything. I enjoy using complex and big words sometimes so i do, not to look smart but because i like to be precise because I think that's kinda neat. I like to make people smile because I like knowing people are happy and content and also because seeing people happy makes me feel better, but especially when i'm the one who made them feel better. Sometimes I like getting mad at people when I disagree with them and I will try and make them feel bad because I dislike them. I am not perfect, but I do try to be because I do like to please people a lot of the time. I do worry about things a lot too and overthink. Basically, i'm just a person, but honestly, while I think me and this "John" character share some similarities, I just genuinely like to hold the door, even if the person doesn't say thanks, because it makes me feel like i helped them a little and maybe it'll make their day just a little bit better. I guess i am okay with just being me, because it's the most honest anyone can be.

prob changed my life

That kinda feels weird to think about because either I just act in public how I act alone or I just don't really do anything like that because I would just think everything in my head and I'm not sure because I feel like I act very different sometimes but I always feel like I'm acting like myself so this feels weird.

t h i s

😕

Lgbtq

This just made me rethink everything man

Who came here from TikTok?

"People waste too much of their time, buying the things they cant afford, just to impress the people they don't even like"

If you dont like your position right now, then change it, wether if your in a position of being sick of pretending, or feeling guilt from your friend who only wanted to use you.

Remember, its your life, so if theres something in it that you dont like, then just remove it, just as you would when you delete the apps in your phone that you dont use anymore.
Always remember that your life is too valuable to be wasted on small things that dont even do much good to you

Can't believe I cried to a 6-minute video that just talked about the effects of being "nice".

I've always thought that being "too nice" was always just a classification towards me because that's who I am. But that's not who I was. I get hurt, I get mad, bothered, annoyed, sad, but never once in my life have I ever said the word "no" to someone out of the fear of being judged, losing that title of who I am, but as time went on, that definition is being selfish. I later learned (and still learning) that its okay to say no as long as it benefits you. Your not a bad person for not wanting to do the things others expect from you, your peace is more important than anything else in this world. Love who you are, even with the mistakes and flaws, turn them into something powerful and beautiful

anyone else find it hard to hold conversations, since you like many things, but don't LOVE anything enough to go into detail

dang
I love how this message was portrayed and carried out. The writing was superb and immersive.

what if i’ve been tailoring myself in a way that everyone will like for so long that i don’t even know what it’s like to be me?

People who wear "surgical masks" in public