The Massage That Nearly Finished Me
Check out https://joshjohnsoncomedy.com/tour for dates and to sign up for the waitlist to be notified when I’m performing in your city.
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Video Recorded at Brea Improv in Brea, CA
@KramericaIndustries7
April 18, 2026 at 4:24 pm
"I came there depressed, but i left there confused." 😂 this is my entire experience with being depressed and seeking any kind of help. Love you Josh!
@carriejohnson7757
April 18, 2026 at 4:24 pm
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
@boringdallas
April 18, 2026 at 4:24 pm
Sounds like you got a massage from a former Minnesota police officer.
@icereinthegamer3265
April 18, 2026 at 4:24 pm
As a massage therapist.. this was hilarious 😂😂😂
@stantaylor6223
April 18, 2026 at 4:24 pm
Popped all his toes at once😂😂😂
@kristineximeno6739
April 18, 2026 at 4:24 pm
My cat is a dog too, Rule no 1 around cats: Never blame yourself, its always the cats problems LOL. ALWAYS, they crazy
@coolmani
April 18, 2026 at 4:24 pm
This Massage Story nearly finished me😂😂😂
@melodyssong4916
April 18, 2026 at 4:24 pm
Nice to see Josh wearing such a bright pop of color for once 😄
@Dragon76Red
April 18, 2026 at 4:24 pm
For the massage, it sounds like you ended up in a school clinic. Every massage school has a student clinic where students are applying what they are learning on the public. It's why the massage is so cheap.
@16235
April 18, 2026 at 4:24 pm
He needs to put these on Spotify as albums
@crownprincesslaya2
April 18, 2026 at 4:24 pm
12:40 A lot of people who have this experience with silent meditation do better to start with sound meditation or a guided body scan track.
Also, overall, if one has that thought train enough times, horrific as it is, the brain CAN get bored of it and then it’s like “well this is a future fear, so this is anxiety- since this is not what’s happening right now, I can set this down” the come back to the breath again. It’s called “practicing” meditation for a reason XP
@cshortridge1
April 18, 2026 at 4:24 pm
Note to self: Beware the $8 massage 😂
@judithbrewer-nl7ou
April 18, 2026 at 4:24 pm
5:32 See you in Albany
@haleywright4590
April 18, 2026 at 4:24 pm
Ha! That’s my Betsy, she groans so hard when she gets scritches.
@marcellaburns6191
April 18, 2026 at 4:24 pm
My depression disppeared when I was laughing about you petting the cat! Thanks!
@teacherlion
April 18, 2026 at 4:24 pm
$8 massage…priceless story.
@vxnbee
April 18, 2026 at 4:24 pm
Missed opportunity at 26:49 to have the masseur go, "Why am I in a Mexican restaurant?" Lol
@YuBeace
April 18, 2026 at 4:24 pm
“There’s no way cats have a three strike rule” oh but they really kinda do dont they 😂
@j.ballsdeep420
April 18, 2026 at 4:24 pm
Stop making cuts and marrying when it lands better or you fixed the joke.
@rhov-anion
April 18, 2026 at 4:24 pm
My very first massage was last year. I have an issue with acting tough too, and I've got a dangerously high pain threshold, so I just didn't say anything. She super popular, so I assumed that's what a therapeutic massage is like. 3 weeks later I returned for my next appointment, and apparently I STILL had bruises all over my back. She backed off after that.
@UnderTrees268
April 18, 2026 at 4:24 pm
So he has no cat mojo. Noted.
@shortstuffs0113
April 18, 2026 at 4:24 pm
Actually cried laughing
@meandlia3752
April 18, 2026 at 4:24 pm
omgerd I can't even stop laughing, just funny clean and worth every second of your amazing humor Josh!! Love it!
@xileftv5370
April 18, 2026 at 4:24 pm
The massage that WHAT
@jenniferfirmin4748
April 18, 2026 at 4:24 pm
Sounds like you got the bouncer at a place that only does massage as a front for another business. 😂 Totally happened to my cousin and his wife. After the massage they looked at the walls and they were covered with photos of girls.
@cappadocius9379
April 18, 2026 at 4:24 pm
When he fell you should have looked back and said "You good?"
@MsShellybell12
April 18, 2026 at 4:24 pm
Greatest story teller I am sitting here enjoying my time with my introvert self.😂😂😂😂 His skills are amazing and my brain just get it usually I am the one who doesn't get jokes and I you have not been here you will not forget the looks on people's face when you don't get a joke thanks Josh!!!
@rosarosa-t7x
April 18, 2026 at 4:24 pm
i’m upset he didn’t use P Diddy in the joke when the linebacker looked at him weird for asking for basic massage essentials
@susanhart-j5y
April 18, 2026 at 4:24 pm
Ok, as a therapist of 43 years, the male is a masseur, and the female massuse. Those are actually long time ago references to a therapist. Just massage therapist will do. When I studied we had the masters that came here to teach therapists amazing work such as:
Ida Rolph
Milton Trager
Mosh Feldenkris
Robert Stevenson.
They left the world a better place. I asked myself over 40 years ago, how much longer till corporate makes millions off of therapists after calling us prostitutes? Unfortunately we are a dying breed and we are taking our work with us.
@waterfall1100
April 18, 2026 at 4:24 pm
Josh Johnson is a great progressive socialist!
@raef90
April 18, 2026 at 4:24 pm
Get outta my head at 12:45!
@thztan7492
April 18, 2026 at 4:24 pm
Nice 👍
@livefreelovewild
April 18, 2026 at 4:24 pm
My man, the way you are describing this is how women describe a bad sexual encounter with a man the next day…. 😂
@musicauthority674
April 18, 2026 at 4:24 pm
Josh Johnson talking about the cat being an attack cat was hilarious.
I know about being broke it's depressing.
Sam Harris talked about meditating with mushrooms. he said it really works.
that message letting out grunts and groans was hilarious.
by the end of this routine I was rolling on the floor. LMFAO!!!
@cavales.5519
April 18, 2026 at 4:24 pm
Just dont get the hype with this dude. So mid. ..
His jokes " i was breathing bad". Abs