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The Hidden Rules of Conversation

Tom Scott | October 4, 2025



Gricean Maxims are a vital part of how we understand each other: a set of… well, maybe “rules” is a bit strong. They’re guidelines that we follow without realising it. And it’s the reason that “asbestos-free cereal” sounds suspicious.

Written with Molly Ruhl and Gretchen McCulloch. Gretchen’s podcast Lingthusiasm is at http://lingthusiasm.com/

Gretchen’s book BECAUSE INTERNET, all about the evolution of internet language, is available:
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(Those are affiliate links that give a commission to me or Gretchen, depending on country!)

Graphics by William Marler: https://wmad.co.uk
Audio mix by Graham Haerther: https://haerther.net

REFERENCES:
Munroe, R. (2009). “Free”. https://xkcd.com/641/
Grice, H.P. (1975). “Logic and Conversation,” Syntax and Semantics, vol.3 edited by P. Cole and J. Morgan, Academic Press. Reprinted as ch.2 of Grice 1989, 22–40.

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Written by Tom Scott

Comments

This post currently has 38 comments.

  1. @kovy6447

    October 4, 2025 at 6:45 pm

    passat guy:"im out of petrol, any help?"
    Tom Scott:"theres a petrol station down the road"
    passat guy:"thanks"
    at the petrol station
    passat guy:"wheres the diesel?"

  2. @eugenenalpin6058

    October 4, 2025 at 6:45 pm

    There's vegan everything at the store these days, it's become a term to signify "natural"/in consideration of animals. Vegan soap, vegan cotton swabs. Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if they start advertising electric cars as vegan, so a vegan tomato isn't so far off basis

  3. @NachitenRemix

    October 4, 2025 at 6:45 pm

    The "maxim of relation" can be avoided with saying something simple in conversation such as: "on another unrelated note". Be sure to DO THIS. If not, people will stop paying attention to you, while thinking "what does this have to do with the previous topic?" That disclaimer allows people to drop that idea and carry on 🙂

  4. @flamingturnip

    October 4, 2025 at 6:45 pm

    This stuff is REALLY good for writing much more natural dialogue.

    …also having the guidelines written down make me more aware that I don't follow them in daily life as much as expected. It has led to me feeling socially inept.

  5. @soomiewleng5227

    October 4, 2025 at 6:45 pm

    I need this because i don't wanna to keep double triple doubting myself of what I mean when i mutted. I currently officianado communicate script of fictional short cdramas .

  6. @brb5506

    October 4, 2025 at 6:45 pm

    Neither prescriptive nor even guidelines: The maxims are descriptive, though not exhaustively so, of how conversation works. Such as this comment.

  7. @D3__

    October 4, 2025 at 6:45 pm

    Your response of "there's a garage down the road" just confused me.

    Yea sure, maybe there is one. But how would a garage help the fuel situation? Garages are for parking your car. And "a garage down the road" wouldnt even be yours or mine. Only the owner can get in.

    But your explanation of the manner just made me think you're being obtuse for no reason. I've never heard a gas station be called a garage. In any language I know.

  8. @dafyddthomas6897

    October 4, 2025 at 6:46 pm

    Vegan tomatoes:
    1) Most plants are grown using dung as fertilizer. Use factory produced fertlilizer
    2) Take regular tomatoes, put a "vegan" label, double the price. Simples!

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