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The First Guy To Ever Be A Historian

Ryan George | October 20, 2026



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The first historian decides your embarrassing moments belong in a book. Forever.

A comedy sketch about the guy who invented history and immediately put himself in charge of what goes in it. Apparently, ā€œplease don’t write that downā€ is not how this works.

Learning from the past also comes up. Nobody seems interested.

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Video written in collaboration with Scott Roberts

MORE VIDEOS:

How Things Got Their Names Compilation
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKJCNg9g_AI

The First Guy To Do Everything (Compilation)
https://youtu.be/UQyxGUV7oJI

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Chapters:
00:00 Intro
00:19 Meet the Past Guy
00:59 Writing Down the Past
01:32 Who Decides What Matters?
01:53 The Cliff Warning
02:27 Can History Predict the Future?
02:58 Incogni Adstronaut Ad
04:20 Outro

Written by Ryan George

Comments

This post currently has 37 comments.

  1. @final_catalyst

    October 20, 2026 at 6:27 am

    Funny enough there was a historian in China I think that recorded an emperor falling off his horse with him saying don't write that down.

    So the first bit makes me wonder if that was a reference.

  2. @jadoyon

    October 20, 2026 at 6:27 am

    "The word history comes from the ancient Greek word historia, which means "inquiry" or "knowledge gained from inquiry." It evolved to refer to the accounts of past events and narratives constructed from such inquiries."

  3. @Tamizushi

    October 20, 2026 at 6:27 am

    I was about to mention that aliens can't swim in space since their is no medium to swim in, but then I figured out that since I can hear what the ad-stronaut is saying it means there is a medium in this specific space, so never mind.

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