Hot New Relationship Book Warns Women: ‘Wake Up! He’s A Shapeshifter’
Bestselling author Craig Wheedon stops by Today NOW! to urge ladies to face the truth and dump the shapeshifter.
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Ex-Pedophile Shares Tips On How To Make Your Kids Less Attractive
Child safety expert and ex-pedophile Terry Parker drops in on the morning show to share some insider tips from his years spent as a sex offender!
Little Boy Heroically Shoots, Mutilates Burglar
8 year old Lucas Armitage has become a national hero after bravely defending his home by shooting a burglar multiple times in the chest and neck. For More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion
Today Now! : Boy Finds Own Real-Life E.T.
11 year old Thomas Demming visits Today NOW! with the magical friend he hid for weeks in his bedroom closet. For More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion
VH1 Reality Show Bus Crashes In California Causing Major Slut Spill
Clean-up crews are hard at work after a VH1 bus carrying reality show contestants overturned, spilling 2,000 pounds of highly concentrated slut. For More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion
Boys Tragic Death Could Have Happened To Any Family With 20-Foot Pet Python
Rich and Lisa Shaw say there were no warning signs that their 300-pound Burmese Python would crush and eat their 3 year old son. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion
Perfectly Good Tire Just Sitting There Behind The Kroger
Onion News Network, Fridays at 10/9c on IFC. The local Onion affiliate in Pennington, IL reports the tire is basically new and there for the taking.
