@Thrna_1

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

I am a cat and my pronouns are mlem, mear, and sssssssssssssssss

i support my own transition slide this wont be funny to me beyond this moment i actually support trans people otherkin is cute but not as medically valid thank you all zero people for coming to my ted talk bye nowm…..
@MotherOfDistruction

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

I hated being misgendered, which I was on a regular basis from 10-14 years old. Why was I misgendered so much? M mom didn't know how to take care of my hair since mine was thicker and curlier than hers by a lot, consequently that ment at 10 I had no idea how to take care of my hair. My aunt who was a hairdresser came up with the solution instead of teaching me how to take care of my hair she would just cut it all off until I learned. So suddenly I, who never had the face to pull off short hair without looking masculine now had about 2 in of hair and no idea where to begin styling it. Combined with that I had a habit of wearing more boyish or gender neutral cloths whenever I got to choose my outfit, partly do to the things I found fun being highly active so those clothes where more comfortable and in response to my learned hatred of pink due to my parents dressing me in Hot pink sweat pants and matching sweaters most of my days between 3 and 6. This combination resulted in quite a few adults in my small town calling me he, referring to my to my parents as their son and ect. I got mistake for my brother so often it was ridiculous. This really sucked for me and ruined shorter hair for me forever. I was a girl and even though I didn't conform to most gender stereotypes, I still felt like a girl and wanted to be known as one. Being misgendered even though I was a Cis female was horrible, and no one even did it on purpose, I just looked like a boy. it took me 4 years to grow back my hair to a length that if I wasn't wearing a skirt people could still tell I was a girl. I ended up having to decide between if I should wear clothes that I didn't like and wasn't comfortable in but made me look like my corresponding gender or had to accept people frequently assuming I was a boy. It sucked. Not only do Non-binary and trans people have to deal with this, but so do Cis people that don't do typical gender performance and it always sucks.
@fernandouseodysee5027

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

I hate that the term "they" got adopted. I hate that people thinks that pronouns are sacred or something,… These are just words. I need a third person non gender pronoun but the word "they" confuses me a lot and I always think the they are talking about a group or something
@gamehero6816

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

Honestly, "They/them" isn't any less grammatically correct than "he/him/she/her." But nobody even cares about grammar (I wish that were true).
@johnheaviside596

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

I credit you for sticking to the words on the tee shirt. As a bisexual I'm getting weary of a great deal of LGBTQ "controversy" about "deadnaming" and other items. People should respect a person's preferred gender. But I'm not going to mince words, if someone isn't trying I'm picking one. A man who dresses and acts like a woman will be referred to as "she". These people playing tending gender transitioning roles and insisting on being referred to by their sex gender are confusing everyone.
@wildhearses

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

I've never experianced a nonbinary or trans person actually get mad or judge someone for misgendering them, which I think is an important misconception. For some reason we're socially conditioned to panic when we miss gender someone even when it's completely not important like if it's a baby or a pet. So I think people project that awkwardness onto the trans person, who may politely correct you, but in pretty much every case I've encountered appreciates people trying and can tell the difference from "a mistake" and someone who is aggressively trying to call them the wrong gender because they're transphobic. If I misgender someone I generally don't correct myself, just make a mental note to do better next time, because I feel like sometimes making a big show of correcting yourself and usinging the correct pronoun is both othering to the trans/nonbinary person and more about showing "what a good ally you are" than about that person's identity. I love hearing news reporters using they/them because I think it will really help to normalize a gender neutral pronoun… it's just going to take practice.
@deannasmith4443

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

solidarity friend.
@Geoffrey454

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

When you used examples like "Just to piss them off" you're using that gender neural pronoun without even thinking about it which is why it works
@meowmeow8850

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

ok wait… how did the cis guy teach me new pronouns lmfao. honestly i could hug u 😭😭 its like you actually pay attention to us!! and 3 years ago???? from a they person, thank you for being so thoughtful with ur work on ur platform 🥺🙏🏼 appreciate u
@queenluci6664

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

I think it's ok to ask and it's ok to mess up from time to time. I just recently discovered I was genderless, so my new they them pronouns might take a while to catch on, especially to those I haven't come out to yet.
@ImVicBlanco

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

Gender is not a social construct even when you argue that biological sex and gender aren't the same thing at least that's what science suggests, I'll call anyone the way they want because i like to be polite and kind to people, besides intentionally calling someone a different pronoun than their preffered is rude, however it should be legal, imagine condemning someone legally because he called Michael Jackson ( if he was alive) a black man, his genes show he's from african descent so it would be scientificly accurate to call him a black man, it would be ridiculous to condenm someone for that reason, In the l hipotetical example I gave of Michael Jackson, if he hadn't liked to be reffered to as black and if he wanted to be called white i'd call him white to be respectful to his desires, same happens with trans people.
@ImVicBlanco

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

If any of you reading this truely values truth over comfort watch the video on the link with an open mind and get to your own conclusions.
https://youtu.be/tiJVJ5QRRUE
@koboldcatgirl

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

The "personal pronoun" thing, as I understand it, is more about people who are nonbinary trying to find pronouns that match best. I know people who go by "it", "they" and "ze". The latter, I know, gravitates towards "ze" because it feels more masculine to zir, and ze feels significantly more on the "boyish" side of nb. I think the ideal solution will have us settling on a smaller number eventually, but it won't just be one gender-neutral pronoun. I could see it being around ten—one or two for "male-leaning", one or two for "lady-leaning", one or two for "idk/kinda both" and one or two for "smash all gender". That kind of thing. But that's my opinion as a binary trans lady, so, y'know, not my call.
@koboldcatgirl

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

Really, what generally bothers me the most about misgendering is less mistakes and more the emotions that come with those mistakes. I hate it when people get upset and apologize. It's okay to give a very quick and casual "sorry, she", if you absolutely have to apologize, but I don't need apologies. I don't want to be a big deal. It ends up either feeling infantilizing, like I'm fragile, or just exhausting, like I need to be responsible for reassuring cis people over their mistakes.

Imagine someone bumping into you on the street, and instead of apologizing and going on their way, they grab you and start shaking you, overcome with their own shame at how rudely they treated you. fam it's fine you are not making this any better
@JCBassCovers

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

Excellent video. I'm a nonbinary person, but I honestly don't care what pronouns you use for me. I got called ma'am at work the other day, my friends still use he/him from when they knew me before I came out, you can call me an Apache Helicopter for all I care.
@turtle4llama

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

I have a very complicated name. If people mispronounce it and I care to correct them, I will. Accidental misgendering and efforts to avoid it should be like pronouncing someone's name. You may get it wrong at first, but you listen when corrected and make the effort to do better next time. But if you go out of your way to say someone's name wrong or use the wrong pronouns, you are being an asshole and should be pilloried in the public square.
@zweck4629

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

Correct me if Im wrong, but wouldnt the correct gender neutral pronoun be "it"?
Adopting it for people would be rather easy, as all the proper grammatical uses are already common.
You wouldnt have to learn new artificial pronouns like "Ze/Zir" or use "they" in otherwise improper and jarring
ways like "They is standing over there".

While we use "it" for children and animals, I do feel that using it for a person would feel dehumanizing.
If I overheard someone referring to a non-binary person as "it" I would probably think that they are some horrible,
hateful person. If someone asked me to refer to them with "it" I would probably feel extremely uncomfortable.

Nevertheless it would probably be the most convenient pronoun to use, and the LGBT+ community does have a history of reclaiming slurs.
@felicianofrontado3134

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

In regards to the Packer's Fan example. What about a person that says "I am a catholic" but never prays, never goes to church and doesn't pay attention to anything the vatican says or does ?

This might be an entirely different conversation but I do find (at least with this example) that people's identities are in some regard corresponding to their behavior.
@7nathanarmy

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

Singular they is grammatically sound and it's not a new idea. It dates back basically as far as gendered pronouns have existed in English. Otherwise good video
@DavidLindes

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

I find it fascinating that you seem to express three different viewpoints about the singular they:

At 3:38, you say "In English there's no grammatically appropriate gender neutral singular pronoun" (which is false; "they" is grammatically appropriate as either singular or plural. There's no grammatically unambiguous singular pronoun of long well-recognized standing (spivak pronouns and such are arguably words in English, they just don't have that level of standing, and they is ambiguous as to the number of its referent(s)), but that's different.)

Then at 4:15, you say it's merely grammatically dubious.

And finally at 4:21, you provide an example that you seem to think is totally fine.

So, yeah. I guess that's why this is presented as something you are (or were, at the time of this video) working on. 🙂 It's neat to sort of see the progress even within the course of this video!

HAKO. 🙂
@m0derately.g0th

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

can cis people in the comments stop calling us "transgendered"? its not a verb. its not something that happened to me. its who i am. you wouldnt call a black person "blacked" or a jewish person "jewed" youd call them black and jewish.
@anthonywestbrook2155

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

But if someone only mentions that they're a Packers fan when the packers are doing well, is it unfair to call them a bandwagon fan? Fans who stick with a team and support them through thick and thin resent bandwagon fans who expect to receive the same bonding rights. There's a difference there, and it's false equivalency to say that you have to take someone's word on whether they're a Packers fan.

None of this is a comment on gender identity; I just have trouble following an argument whose premise I've already rejected.
@namenloss730

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

I still don't understand what gender is supposed to be.
I understand dissociating sex and personal identity, but I really don't understand the rest. Most descriptions of gender I see pretty much mean personality (I don't have issues with your personality unless you are annoying). Because of that I don't understand what transgender means, especially since people seem to use it interchangeably with transexual, but my understanding is that transexuals actually go through physical change to get from one sex to the other and don't just have identities.

I mean no offense in any of that, and I really wish I could have a real conversation to understand it (not a debate, I would not be arguing a position, just asking for clarification).
@AntiFaGoat

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

For me the trouble with using "they" is that when you want to write something out, autocorrect (and years of essay writing conditioning) punishes you for it. We may say "to each their own" in common speech. Write it in an academic setting and you'll risk losing points on a paper. The same goes with the term "they said" or "they" to describe people you don't know. Everything has to be "his" or "her." This was literally in a writing manual I bought for a beginning college English class. And, what can I say? I've always been proud of my education and try to use it in my daily life.

All this frustration I feel about pronouns is important though. It makes me realize that, if I feel frustrated not knowing what pronoun to use, it must be incredibly frustrating when the entire world constantly says the wrong pronoun for you.
@bookdetective3

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

All the same issues. It's fun breaking up my pre conditioned brain to help people
@lklobs

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

I have some unique experiences with this despite being straight/cisgender… For like 9 years I had a pixie cut. I also never wear makeup like hardly ever, usually only special occasions. I used to work at a hospital and my uniform was very large and boxy and I'm not a particularly curvy woman either (but still a real one… I think) so I guess from far away I looked like a boy. A few times from a distance people would say "excuse me, sir," or something of that nature. As soon as they realized I was not a "sir," they always felt SO BAD and like over apologized for getting my gender wrong. I never took it as an insult, though. I always just laughed it off. Is it an insult to be a man? I mean, I love being a woman but it's like when someone calls you gay as an insult but I don't see how being gay is an insult. Anyways, another time when I was working at a restaurant (still with short hair) and there was a birthday party for the chef's family who were all from his native country of Italy and quite wealthy. A six- or seven-year-old girl came up to me and posed an interesting question: "Are you a boy or a girl? Because you look like a girl but you have boy hair." Now, this girl had probably never cut her hair in her short life because it was in 3 braids all the way down to almost her knees. I explained to her that when I cut my hair short, I didn't stop being a girl. I was tempted to tell her my vagina was still intact but I figured I was already traumatizing her by totally changing her precuously-held notion that your gender is entirely dependent upon your outward appearance and that in fact, changing said appearance actually changes your gender. This had to be like maybe 7 or 8 years ago. I hope this girl remembered what I told her and grew up to be a little more open minded (and a better tipper) than her family…
@AlaricHolmes

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

Adding new pronouns into the language is hard, even for the most progressive-minded folks, because its a closed class of words. It's like trying to create a new preposition. It isn't like adding new nouns because that's an open class and EC already add to it willy-nilly.

So, while some of the resistance to proposed pronouns like "ze" or "thon" (seriously, who couldn't predict that "thon" would fail as pronoun?) is bigoted in nature, most of it is actually the normal resistance to adding words to closed classes.

"They" is tricky because, for the most part, when it's used as a singular (semantically, not grammatically), it's an indefinite singular, where the sex/gender of the person isn't known or isn't specified ("everyone should take off their shoes when entering my house"). Typically, when it's used as a definite pronoun, it's plural. Now, of course, everyone is going to have their anecdotal example if a definite singular usage of "they," but I'm speaking generally, as most discussions of language tend toward doing. But regardless, if you then have "they" serving all those subtly different but nonetheless distinct functions, including:

+ definite singular
+ indefinite singular
+ definite plural
+ indefinite plural

…then stuck with reduced subtlety and more repetition of the same word for different situations — and perhaps that would work and I'm making a whole lot of hay over nothing, but I have difficulty approving of "they" as a definite singular pronoun. In short, I accept the indefinite use of "they," which already put me at odds with the Grammar Police, but placing it fully on par with the definite use of "he" and "she" rubs me the wrong way. Frankly, I'd rather try adding a new pronoun to the mix, as hard as that is, but I'm not sure either change will happen soon.
@syrlumipj3375

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

Thank you for discussing this. You really wording this well and discussed it well. 'They' can definitely be used as gender neutral as it was used as singular for a very long time and has only more recently been used for mostly numerous peoples.
@sk82roc

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

Hate to say this cos I love your vids but – technically – the singular pronoun 'they' IS Singular. E.g.
"hey do you know kat?" – – "no, I don't know them"
"Hey, they look so great!"
"I'm having a party, why don't they come too?"
"My interviewer was so cool" – – – "oh really? what did they do that was cool?"
You use it without thinking every time the gender of someone is unknown to you… until you know someones pronouns (specifically if you are in some doubt, because they may have androgynous features, or perhaps are currently transitioning and are thus between pronouns) just use They. It's grammatically correct. It works. People use it every day.
@KTGetc

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

If in doubt, ask! "Hey, I don't want to fuck up – what are your pronouns?"
@Akhockeyman19

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

love your videos always brighten my day thank you…for being you:)
@amg7865

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

you da bess xx
@RoseDragoness

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

Gladly there is no he and she in my language (Indonesian) only they. But I tend to interact online and it gets confusing sometimes especially that my brain storing memories mostly in imagery forms. Remembering names have been difficult to me I even still not able to mentions all 50ish members of my office after 2 years.
I tend to use they when I remember, but I have witnessed people that raging mad if you don't call them theirs own gender term. That kind of people, I avoid.
@cidevant002

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

I personally don´t mind people assuming gender just by appeareance because is very much ingrained in society and how we treat each other. Don´t say don´t try to fight that if you can, but it is a very common part of socialization. But if I already said to someone "I am actually this, not that" and they go "no, no, you are that because my values and way of thinking say you are that and whatever you say about it doesn´t matter to me" then I am going to be upset because wow, rude.

I am a guy. I use he pronouns (or they, I am fine with that), but because of my "femenine" sounding nick people always assume I am a girl. I just correct them and I am done with it.
@molewizard

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

For someone who complains about people talking past each other, you seem to be talking past the anti-pronoun people pretty hard.

Their beef isn't with the idea that gender expression and sex are different. Their beef is with the idea that:

1. Gender and sex vary independently (they don't – not even close. There is almost no overlap in "gender expression").
2. Pronouns get to be decided by the subject, not the speaker (which most people disagree with because pronouns refer to sex, not gender). If you are a man who has a female gender expression, people will call you a man because "man" refers to your sex, not how you express yourself.

Most of the people I've met who disagree with pronouns could care less if a guy wants to put on a dress and play with barbies. Criticism of them always seems to rely on the presupposition that they do. As far as I can tell, they just don't.
@philipschuster6557

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

I'm not going to start calling people "ze" or "thon". If they aren't "he" or "she" then they're "they" singular. I can handle that. People can identify with anyone of 50 different genders, but that doesn't mean that there are actually 50 different genders. You are either masculine, feminine or somewhere between those two poles. Actually being non-binary is a minority position because the vast majority of people have always had a gender identity consistent with their anatomical sex. My only objection is when someone says that gender is fluid, socially constructed or a smooth continuum where people are represented fairly evenly throughout the whole spectrum. Most people are predominantly masculine or feminine. Non-binaries are the exception, but we do need to respect them for what they are.
@craigcoupe8158

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

Well if someone really insists I call them a pronoun that isn't he/she then I will. I've never met anyone like that though (medium sized working class town), so therefore I will use he or she untill they tell me otherwise. If they got pissed off at me for accidentally using the wrong pronoun, then I just wouldn't want to communicate with them anymore. Feeling you have to tiptoe around someone is never fun, so my opinion is yes, make an effort to use the right pronoun when that person asks you to. For the person who likes to be referred to with a special pronoun, they shouldn't get angry at people who assume they are he or she, just politely correct them.
@mosamasa

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

you can identify yourself what fucking ever you want, but I will use the words I fucking like.
@Cpt_nice

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

Good vid dude! I have a lot of friends who struggle with this and I can only say, practice makes perfect
@Daiskken

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

My comment has nothing to do with this video so sorry in advance. I've discovered your "reading harry potter" series as i go along and i'm wondering if you still plan to keep doing it because the last video is from 6 months ago. If you can, please give an answer
@edwardproxy519

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

You know when they say they get triggered from being misgendered they're lying right? They may get irritated, but assuming someone's gender and being wrong isn't a big deal as long as you don't do it again. It makes more sense to do it since such a tiny portion of the population don't use the pronouns of their biological sex
..and less than that again are actually trans ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
@TheRichardson711

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

I believe if you feel bold enough you absolutely have the right to call someone out about their person identity. It may seem like a dick move, but you may be simply calling attention to someone's BS. If a friend identifies as a packers fan but I know he hates football and that he's trying to impress my sister or something, I might choose to call him out. Or I might identify as a child because I believe childhood is just a "social construct", and adulthood/childhood should be seperate from age. That probably sounds ridiculous and everyone would call me out.

Identity is not entirely self determined. Nor is it determined at my whim. Identity is negotiated with society. We may have to provide evidence of our identity because it may be called into question occasionally. lets pretend that I self identify as a 20something, male, architect, father, husband, lakers fan, Canadian. throughout my life I will have to provide evidence to the government, employers, friends and others that one or more elements of this identity is true. But the same goes for identities that society places on me without my approval. Perhaps I'm a criminal, alcholic, cheater. I can choose to ignore that identity, but society will not.

I have a larger point that I can't yet articulate. I don't know where I stand on transgenderism yet. But no matter what I think or what conclusion I come to I will try my best to treat individuals I meet with respect no matter their lifestyle.
@TheFranzX

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

Thanks for this. It's always nice seeing a cis person openly making the effort. I just want to live comfortably with myself in the world and you seem to respect that.
@bestofsunoai

August 17, 2025 at 3:38 pm

are you going to talk about the MTV hey white guys video?