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Pete Hegseth: Everything You Didn’t Know About His Sh*tty Past

Hysteria | October 13, 2025



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In our 26th episode of This F*cking Guy, Erin and Alyssa dive deep into the past of United States Secretary of War, Pete Hegseth. From his sexist ideologies, drunken antics, cheating scandals and Fox News career to his embarrassing failures to incompetent leadership, this is definitely our most inebriated and moronic f*cking guy of all time.

Sources: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1b5QSdcm4Er0FJPwA4IS6A-1FsmH_3FNuAa5YPnuo5Qc/edit?usp=sharing

CHAPTERS
0:00 – Intro
1:10 – Pete’s childhood
3:38 – Pete’s early bad ideas
6:38 – Pete’s first marriage and military career
15:45 – Pete on Fox News and drinking problems
21:00 – Ad break
22:54 – Pete gets into politics (and more drinking)
32:49 – Trump picks Pete for Secretary of Defense

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Written by Hysteria

Comments

This post currently has 38 comments.

  2. @torturebear

    October 13, 2025 at 7:12 am

    12:30 Cool… his devotion for christianity seems to take some liberty. It is awesome when you can choose the rules to obey and which are more… guidelines. Kudos to the Warminister – I mean: Jesus said turn the other cheek so you are not hit by the shrapnel our bombs are dishing out.

  3. @jewelli6536

    October 13, 2025 at 7:12 am

    Look at his mother's eyes, in the campaign video. She was already giving, "my son is a fucking dickhole, and my husband is gaslighting me" vibes.
    That literally gave me chills. Poor woman.

  4. @gaian2000

    October 13, 2025 at 7:12 am

    Dictators tend to pick people because of their blind loyalty. They tend to be without morals, incompetent, arrogant, racist, hate women, etc. Those administrations tend to tear each other apart when they finally get power.

  9. @Whenyoureyeswander

    October 13, 2025 at 7:12 am

    Yeah I don’t even have sex with my wife nor have I had sex with any previous gf if she/ they is/ were too drunk to pass a field sobriety test
    The argument that consenting to getting drunk equates to consenting to intercourse is so telling that it wouldn’t amount to a 20-minute Scooby doo episode to find out who the real villain is here

  13. @trig1900

    October 13, 2025 at 7:12 am

    Pete Hegseth: A Case Study in Insecurity and Misogyny
    Pete Hegseth hates women for a 'very good' reason—at least, one that makes sense to him. He has always viewed them as inferior, never as equals. As he grew up and started recognizing his own shortcomings—laziness in academic scholarship, a predilection for consuming too much alcohol, lack of application or success in his multiple chosen work lives, and an inability to adhere to anyone or anything for an extended time—it galls him to see women, whom he considers beneath him, succeeding heroically where he could not. Especially in fields of physical prowess or leadership, their success is a direct affront to his worldview. Once you realize this, his actions become pretty obvious.

    Even his choice of a patriarchal religion and model for future society fits neatly into this pattern. Included in this is his need to confess his sins… Trump & Co. should be wary of that need! LOL, in that respect (confession) he'd have made a great Catholic! When it all becomes too much he runs to the confessional, tells everyone how naughty he's been, comes out of it 'washed clean' and ready to commit yet more sin. For him, the guilt is 'temporary'. It can be blamed on 'circumstances' and be reset merely by confession without contrition.

    He's just an angry little man.

  15. @davidwood2911

    October 13, 2025 at 7:12 am

    From David A. Wood: Saturday Night Live's Cast Member/Co-Lead Writer Colin Jost perfectly captured Trump US Presidential Cabinet Secretary of Defense, or "Secretary of War," Pete Hegseth's fake-a**ed, "Tough Guy" act when US Secretary Hegseth tried to lecture, rather unsuccessfully in my opinion, those assembled US Armed Forces' Military Leaders a couple of weeks ago. Hint: Hegseth's behavior in front of the obligatorily assembled Generals, Admirals, and US Armed Forces' Top NCOs was unintentionally and pathetically pompous to the extreme! Nuff Said and Peace Out from Kettering, Ohio, everybody. ☮️ 🇺🇸 🆘️ 🌈 🌟✌️👋👍

  19. @Burkeisthename

    October 13, 2025 at 7:12 am

    As if I didn't already despise Pete Hegseth in his Fox news persona form and as the secretary of defense enough, he is the absolute worst kind of person to come across in life like I suspected

    What a piece of $hit

  22. @krisbruenn1082

    October 13, 2025 at 7:12 am

    It appears that Hegseth's most salient characteristic is his alcoholism. Now, Trump doesn't drink alcohol, but his brother Fred Jr. did. So maybe Hegseth's alcoholism has resonance with Trump.

    The father, Fred Sr., was a teetotaler, but also grew up during Prohibition. And the grandfather lost his Bavarian citizenship due to draft evasion, and after WWI antiGerman sentiment in the US was very high. One thing Prohibition did was shut down the beer halls where the Germans did their political organizing. Prohibition ended before Fred Jr. was born, so Fred Jr. likely wondered why his father was so strict.

  23. @rosslangsjoen6820

    October 13, 2025 at 7:12 am

    You could probably have just said that Hegseth is vocally conservative and religious.
    The rest of it pretty much trails along behind.

    You know, he doesn't look all that sculpted to me.
    pretty well developed little pot there.

Comments are closed.

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