Oneitis
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@metanim1
February 23, 2026 at 5:46 pm
Dang yep, dang. It still applies
@jaraxu_
February 23, 2026 at 5:46 pm
Wait what does it have to be cured? Like I mean I’m at a state where I really like this one girl, and we’ve started chatting and we are good friends and it’s going smooth, and when another girl tired messaging me I went a long being nice but I wasn’t as interested if that makes sense? Is that bad?
@DontFuckWitDreDay
February 23, 2026 at 5:46 pm
The problem with me is that my Oneitis is from someone I known since I was 5 years old and then 20 years later…..I SEE THIS PERSON EVERY TWO WEEK AT WORK. 🙁
THIS SUCKS!
@joeliten901
February 23, 2026 at 5:46 pm
Im deep in oneitis now.
Im seeing this girl who is really hot and cold. She's distant most of the time except when I see her.
That is so intriguing.
She gave me LMR last time we saw eachother too.
But Im seeing other girls too but I cant stop thinking about my oneitis. Its really hard man!
Thank you for the vid.
@xSMGamingx
February 23, 2026 at 5:46 pm
I suffered from horribly just recently but luckily I got out of it. When you really think of it, the whole concept just sounds really dumb.
@alysonkumor3729
February 23, 2026 at 5:46 pm
does this work with friends? because i think i endured some serious Oneitis last year
@outroutenintro2701
February 23, 2026 at 5:46 pm
woah i just realized why i stuck to that alcoholic even though she treated me like shit
@butterflymackay
February 23, 2026 at 5:46 pm
My personal experience with oneitis has been pretty intense, but since then I've realized that oneitis (for me anyway) is a byproduct of the idea that our partners are our possessions. Having grown up with a strongly traditional Christian dad (he seriously believes that your spouse BELONGS to you, and that wives must obey their husbands etc) that idea was pounded into my head at an early age.
My most recent personal case of oneitis, while extremely unhealthy while it was going on, eventually taught me that people are not possessions. So while the actual time I was going through this (worst breakup ever!) was horrible, and painful, and just the worst, what I got out of it I will always value. My love life has vastly improved, and I cherish the ways in which my mind and heart were forced to expand.
@BekeLuzette
February 23, 2026 at 5:46 pm
I have had this, twice, it took my 6 years to get over (well they will always have a place in my heart) the first one, then bam! found the next one, that was 2 years ago, I hope it won't take another 4 years to "rationalize" and heal, but at least I know it's possible to feel that way again. Though not sure I want to….
@MrDontcareify
February 23, 2026 at 5:46 pm
How can you bring up logic or even use that paradigm for something as completely illogical/irrational/subjective as relationships?
I just think you have to use a whole different way of thinking for relationships. Is it rational that people suffer from "oneitis"? No. Is ever relationship ever in the history of mankind rational or logical? Unlikely.
@TheAcademicHorse
February 23, 2026 at 5:46 pm
Hi, I'm Jacob and I'm a victim of oneitis.
I've been clean for a couple of years now but my experience with oneitis impacted my friends and my family… and I knew I had to make a change in my life. There was this person… My aa group prefers that I call them pancake… I must call them this because the very name of the person will overcome my years of training and force me to act irrationally. Pancake had a hold on me like no other. Every time they'd need a ride somewhere, I'd be there… Every time they'd call I'd answer… And it nearly tour my family apart. ….My own mother wouldn't even speak to me…
But I'm better now. This group has taught me to control my emotions and overcome oneitis …one… step at a time.
I'd like to thank you all for coming. I'll see you when you all overcome oneitis.
…….Sike bitch I'm still on the hook, I haven't improved shit!
@cliffdweller990
February 23, 2026 at 5:46 pm
I feel like I've encountered that stuff, but I was on the other end though. Basically, my ex would still try to win me over months and months after break up. Don't get me wrong, oneitis makes both people feel miserable, especially when a person with it tries to guilt trip you, and when you refuse them they shower you with insults. A couple days pass, and then that behavior repeats itself.
@tblue_theyinvade
February 23, 2026 at 5:46 pm
I'm still stuck with oneitis for a particular person. I don't know why my emotions were so strong an latched on to this one person, but they did. I've tried to lose those feelings completely, I really have. Anytime I see her again it all comes right back though. I probably need to cut her out of my life. It's really hard to do though, I don't really like "losing" people.
@veruliexeskelvante6455
February 23, 2026 at 5:46 pm
I'm currently suffering from Oneitis because a recent break-up, but I think this video might help me get through this on top and in turn motivate me to aspire to better myself. Thank you.
@SeanSultan
February 23, 2026 at 5:46 pm
Oooh, this one hit a little close to home. Definitely felt this one before.
@notmyfullname796
February 23, 2026 at 5:46 pm
This is a rough disease 🙁 I don't know that I ever really got over it; I did stop obsessing about a specific person, but I also sort of gave up on the concept of soul mates all together. Which seems sort of like curing a broken hand by cutting off an arm. Or something…wow, I guess that's a little dark
@ngaiosbrain
February 23, 2026 at 5:46 pm
I have had this feeling! And then two years later I had it again. And then a few more years after that I had it again. It's exciting!
@sporeguy99
February 23, 2026 at 5:46 pm
I've got oneitis hard for a girl at my high school. We've been in band together for 6 years and I was building up the courage to ask her out my sophomore year and the day before I was going to ask her she was asked out by another guy. We get along really well but here I am, a senior still waiting for a chance with her that will probably never come. I've tried to remedy this situation and abstain from my fantasies but it's hard when I have to sit next to her every single day. The other part that really gets me down is that her boyfriend is the class president/football player/man hunk and I'm physically inferior and less popular. I'm really just hoping that when I leave for college I'll drop all this business behind and forget about it all.
@noeinan
February 23, 2026 at 5:46 pm
When I was in high school, I didn't have a lot of emotional support from friends or family, and ended up experiencing a strange platonic-romantic Oneitis situation. I see the Oneitis as basically putting all your emotional eggs in one basket out of desperation, intense loneliness, and low self esteem– at least that's what it was for me.
An older guy who shared a class with me asked me out, and we started dating. He was literally the only person in my life at the time who seemed to want emotional intimacy with me, and unfortunately after our relationship started he fostered those feelings further separating me from other people in my life.
When you have this kind of unhealthy attachment to someone, you excuse their actions until the end of the world– if you will admit their existence at all. After three months, the relationship got progressively more abusive– first demeaning me in front of his friends, then my own friends and family, and eventually the emotional abuse turned into sexual assault.
Throughout this process, I was the most miserable I have ever been in my life, but was unable to admit that I was being abused. I didn't think of it as abuse and felt that if things weren't going well it was me– because he was the only person who actually cared/loved me.
I was able to get through it much like you did– I was separated from him for a long period of time (he broke up with me and then went to college) and that allowed my brain some time to heal and gain perspective. Initially it was very much "I will always love this person, and it doesn't matter if they love me back" and "I will never love again". After college, and learning a lot more about sex education, consent, etc. I realized I had been groomed by an abuser.
Oneitis can be a super dangerous thing, because it blocks off your access to reason and reality. Actions and situations that would utterly shock an onlooker can be easily smoothed over in the emotional cocktail that is "Oneitis".
@kiramoth2766
February 23, 2026 at 5:46 pm
Yeah, that's my life. My gf broke a year ago, partialy because I messed our realtion. I did not get with anyone else since then even though I want to, because the other girls are not like she was. She got with someone else. We see eachother frequently. Complicated stuff. Everything has less value without her. I want to go on, but I don't think i'll ever meet someone that will understand me like she did once again.
@owenpearson
February 23, 2026 at 5:46 pm
I've definently had it before and holy hell it sucks!
@TheSquallZor
February 23, 2026 at 5:46 pm
If that ain't the truth. I don't know what is.
@catastrophic37
February 23, 2026 at 5:46 pm
I have had this issue…
@gelfygelf
February 23, 2026 at 5:46 pm
I had it for a solid years worth of school. then when school ended, she was with someone else and i had a summer to get over it (sort of).
@carotalitha
February 23, 2026 at 5:46 pm
Thank you soooo much. I think I am just recovering from oneitis, and your video is helping me do that.
@michael7370
February 23, 2026 at 5:46 pm
On the idea that Oneitis is a silly notion. You should check out "Tim Minchin – If I didn't have you" Funny song that pokes a lot of fun at the idea of soul mates. I like your hair, holla.
@lalababette
February 23, 2026 at 5:46 pm
When I was in highschool I loved my best friend so intensely and even though I knew there was no way she would ever love me back, I still kind of held on to this weird hope. When she got her first boyfriend I wanted to be there for her and be supportive but after awhile I acknowledged that it was just too painful for me so I officially broke off our friendship. She was really upset, and I was upset at myself for not being able to put my feelings aside and be the friend she wanted me to be. I would see her at school everyday and it tore me up inside. I was depressed for a long time, up until graduation. A few months after graduation when I finally got some space from her I started to feel better and after about a year of having not seen her, it didn't make me sad to think about the times we had together anymore.
To this day, I probably still wouldn't be very good friends with her, according to mutual friends of ours she's changed a lot and with distance I could see how we were constantly invalidating each other's feelings and identities and I just don't think friendship would work out, but I do consider myself over it.
@MK.5198
February 23, 2026 at 5:46 pm
I think if I ever really get oneitis, I'm gonna have it really really bad.
@Chemnerdy
February 23, 2026 at 5:46 pm
oh yeah I have def suffered from that
@wweking6774
February 23, 2026 at 5:46 pm
@Koboldmaki15
February 23, 2026 at 5:46 pm
Maybe I am misunderstanding you, but what you describe as oneitis does sound a bit like obsessive love to me. I think the feeling love (as I understand it, that you want to be together with only this person) has its place, if you avoid being creepy and too obsessive, hasn't it? If your feelings are returned it can be the basis for a long term relationship (although you have to work hard to avoid co-dependancy). Or do i miss something?
@xXSinisterTimXx
February 23, 2026 at 5:46 pm
I've had this for a while now and it helps to know I'm not the only one I know I'll get over it but it's weird stuff in a weird world……… Anyway keep doin whatcha doing dude
@charizard9600
February 23, 2026 at 5:46 pm
aright so i got a question that would probably make a good vid. so i found your videos through some marxist pages i subscribe to (marxist page shares the link of a feminist page which shared your vid about friendzoning) anywho i was wondering what your thoughts on economics might be.
@Thor788
February 23, 2026 at 5:46 pm
Got one girl who dumped me almost four years ago, still miss her. Her family is still friends withy mine and they're coming over tomorrow. I'm too embarrassed to tell my parents this, so I have to act like I'm not uncomfortable the whole time. I've rationalized in the same way as stated in the video, and have been been with two other girls since and still feel this way. So to summarize, FML.
@TheBurrito171
February 23, 2026 at 5:46 pm
I've been the object of someone's Oneitis. I had rejected his advances several times. Still,He would constantly ask me out to places. I didn't really feel right when he would want to pay for everything all the time but I didn't want to say no when he wanted to hang out because we had been friends for a long time. Then he became grabby on a few occassions and didn't stop when I said no. When the subject of the future came up, he would always hint at me having his children. I don't even like children. I've told him I'm not interested in a relationship, but he keeps waiting around for me. He's not even taking into account what I want from life. I don't want to be his housewife. I don't want to settle down and be saddled with offspring. That's not my life.
I ,too, have had oneitis. It didn't last too long. I kept comparing everyone to this one guy that I had been with. We had a lot in common and got along really well, but he was a free bird and I was interested in a commited thing at the time(I have no idea why). I wasn't really open minded. After maybe 6 months, I reasoned it away. We remained friends. He still insists I have a crush on him. I don't, but if that makes him feel better I don't mind. Also, he's fat now.
I had it another time with someone else. I think I was being shallow above all else. I was trying to fit this really attractive, kind of douchey guy that I was with into my life. It was on and off for maybe 2 years. He was pretty passive, leaving me to provide all the excitement. He did have one passion, and that was girls that weren't me. He chased other girls, literally, leaving me alone in a public place to run off after a random hot girl this one time(this is what officially ended the relationship). I ended my oneitis right there(I wish someone would have slapped it out of me sooner, really) and moved on with my life. I finally figured out that we weren't really compatible and that it was kind of selfish of me to think of him on such idealized, inaccurate terms anyway. I was naive to think that it could have been a good thing.
In a hilarious twist, he then got the oneitis for me. He would call me and try to get me back, but I was long gone. I stopped responding to him after a while. I got sick of defending my reasons for leaving for good. It's been years and apparently, he still talks about me a lot from what I've heard. His girlfriend hates me and I don't even know her and haven't spoken to him at all in years. It's flattering in a way that makes me feel guilty for feeling flattered, but because of how much he disrespected me when we were together, it feels a little satisfying.
@ryanreynoso506
February 23, 2026 at 5:46 pm
I have oneitis 😢
@radiantvibess3346
February 23, 2026 at 5:46 pm
I definitely have had Oneitis. Only once.
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