On Sexual Abuse/Consent (long, rambly, unscripted video sorry)
this video sucks, just watch hank’s video instead: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tO-sqIoi_lQ
National Sexual Assault Hotline – 1.800.656.HOPE
https://www.rainn.org/get-help/sexual-assault-and-rape-international-resources
Tumblr post covering the scandal: http://unpleasantmyles.tumblr.com/post/79455706244/heres-the-post-olga-made-about-tom-milsom-and
There’s been a bit of scandal in the YouTube community lately with regard to a couple of prominent creators and sexual abuse, and reading the stories made me think. This is a video of me thinking out loud about consent and the relationship between a prominent figure and their fans. There are lots of things I could have said in this video but this was made really fast and I didn’t really do much planning or preparation.
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@1wolsk
May 1, 2026 at 5:06 pm
Thank you so much for both making this video and being honest about your experiences.
@megangonzalez9697
May 1, 2026 at 5:06 pm
I'm kind of new to your videos and have been catching up with your back catalog for a little bit now. I've been wanting to tell you how much I appreciate you acknowledging your own missteps with women in the past. It must suck to have that in your personal history, but the fact that you can see that it was wrong and how awful it must have felt for the other person at the time, and how it might have had long-term effects that you didn't intend, speaks volumes not only to your character but also to the potential of other people who have accidentally sexually mistreated somebody. Knowing that former perpetrators can own up to their mistakes and learn to inform themselves to avoid making the same mistakes on somebody new is such a comfort. So thank you.
@regierse
May 1, 2026 at 5:06 pm
Sometimes girls are down for the sexy time but they are afraid of having their feelings hurt.
@moorela84
May 1, 2026 at 5:06 pm
I am a new subscriber and I absolutely love watching your videos. This video in particular is my favourite, so far at least. I love how raw this video is. This is definitely a topic that deserves and requires raw reflection and emotion. Being someone who has been in a situation where a guy has tried and successfully, to put it politely, pushed me beyond my comfort zone, I loved how you said people need to think about the other persons feelings. In life that is a great rule to live by, especially when it comes to sex. Thank you for making this video
@MaricaAmbrosius
May 1, 2026 at 5:06 pm
Personhood Theory.
@lalababette
May 1, 2026 at 5:06 pm
This is why I think it's super important to educate youth about their right to stop having sex even if they've previously consented. A person can't know that their partner is unwilling unless the partner tells them. Communication is key, especially when alcohol is involved. I think that if you aren't drunk and the other person is, you shouldn't have sex with them because you have a clearer head and you have an advantage over them. If you're both drunk and you've had sex, I think it's important to stick around long enough to have a conversation about how you feel about what happened and come to terms with it. We need to create a culture in which we don't feel scared to talk about what are boundaries are and when we're just not into it anymore
@Prizzlesticks
May 1, 2026 at 5:06 pm
You know, I think it is commendable that you took the time to reexamine yourself and some of your own experiences in a new light, and I imagine it was really fucking hard. It's hard to look back and think, "Did I do something really, really wrong? Was I the bad guy in this scenario?" It takes guts to face down uncomfortable truths like that, to see the other side and worry about our own actions from their perspective.
Whatever conclusions you reached, I just think it's really cool you thought about it at all.
@deadviny
May 1, 2026 at 5:06 pm
who was this about?
@darktoto95
May 1, 2026 at 5:06 pm
You want to learn something about sexual abuse? I'll tell a story that made me miserable, read it or not. In Europe we have circles of student in college too. I met a girl of 17 when i was 18 and for 15 days we were "neo" in the same college (you know this bullshit, we're bullied and then we're part of it). A 23 guy made her drunk and fucked her good later. Due to that being her first time and a lifetime of rejection (i swear she's the most attractive girl i ever saw), she fell in love. For 6 or 8 months dude ALMOST A YEAR she cried on my f**** shoulder because he abused her 5 or 6 times a day. It made my life shitty and now? She had to choose between move on or not and she chose him "i know that's not perfect but i'm in love" she said. She has 19 now and i know what he does to her even if i don't keep track. And she's not the only one i know.
So free will you know… In my experience, free will is overrated as long as you're an asshole and you can mind rape other people. And the most shitty part is that they like being treated like shit. They need it, if you care about them it makes them unconfortable. I'm in a relationship and a doesn't give a fuck about my girlfriend (i don't abuse her but i don't give a fuck) and it works better then being nice and all this shit ever did to me when i was younger
@Aeroxima
May 1, 2026 at 5:06 pm
Consent and empathy, huh?
I feel like there's no thought to be had here. You either accept what everyone is saying, or shut up. I can't tell my thoughts without a barrage of hate over it. Nobody will consider it, there's no empathy for me, I get no say. To add to it, things happen all the time in the world that force people to do things they don't want to, there are plenty of things I don't want to have to do. Somehow this one is way more important, because disagreeing is inherently a sin..
This thing is not about being reasonable or empathetic, it's not about discussion. It's about forcing people to comply with a very particular viewpoint, and squelching all who disagree by practically any means possible.
To save wasting my breath any further, I'll just say there are two sides to any coin and there's no wisdom in swinging the pendulum wildly in one direction. Please try to live by the principles you're espousing, rather than use them as manipulative leverage.
@emmahhil
May 1, 2026 at 5:06 pm
The thing about emotional abuse is, a lot of people that hear about it dismiss it. Because 'oh, they're just having an argument. it's a rough patch.' or other excuses of that nature. I've unfortunately been in an emotionally abusive relationship in the past and at times it is downright morbid, it caused me to become severely depressed, self-destructive and sad every day. But you trick yourself to think the same thing people are telling you, you downplay it so much. The law doesn't really concern itself with emotional abuse either, unless it turns physical. And it bugs me a lot. It should be a bigger issue and knowing the details of the Tom Milsom story.. that's just one of the many out there, doing the same things. If not worse. Your mind can eat you up alive. And another person can manipulate you to become your own worst enemy.
@carly10347
May 1, 2026 at 5:06 pm
wow, where can i find men like you…srsly
@TruthNloV3
May 1, 2026 at 5:06 pm
I think most people (especially ppl in relationships) have chosen to have sex (that is totally consensual sex) when they didn't actually want to. And in my mind anyway there is a clear difference between waking up the next morning and realizing that the choice to have sex wasn't the best idea and never having made the choice to have sex.
@BeckettBL
May 1, 2026 at 5:06 pm
You can't have sex with someone who isn't in their right state of mind, or are unconscious. They are unable to give consent. It's a law in Canada, maybe in the US too? Makes for a bunch of headaches when a case of two drunks come up, or a couple into kinky stuff come across a bump in their kinky road. Even the "type" of sex can be debated over; like protected sex vs. unprotected and the circumstances surrounding each. Non-disclosure of HIV status and whatnot.
Consent is a word that describes too many situations; best thing to do is just make sure with your partner, whoever that is. The longer a relationship goes, the more you can feel your partner, but there are times when guys can't get it up that time, or women unable to get in the mood; don't force that shit on your partner lol; couples have more ways of consenting to sex than saying yes to "wanna have sex.". With a hook up, you probably know them vaguely as an acquaintance or not at all; always be vary since you don't know these people very well and it can turn ugly for both genders. gotta make 100% sure there is consent
@sisbrawny
May 1, 2026 at 5:06 pm
Regret sucks, and you should check yourself if it's a repeat feeling. The emotional aspect of having sexual relations is separate from legality, in the case of feeling bad or not enjoying a sexual episode that was consensual doesn't make it illegal or that consent wasn't present. Bad sex doesn't mean rape.
Sexual regret does not mean consent wasn't given. That's extremely important to know. People can, will and do consent while intoxicated.
Legally, consent is impossible if faculties are severely impaired to critical levels:
1) Can't speak clearly or express any coherent thoughts – delusional.
2) Can't stand up.
3) Can't see or fail to keep eyes open.
Being intoxicated has different levels of sobriety. Everyone process substances differently, so amount of consumed isn't the variable. What is, is their physical and emotional status.
http://yaledailynews.com/blog/2011/09/28/czinger-sexual-regret-is-not-rape/
@youlookdifferent
May 1, 2026 at 5:06 pm
girls are taught never to say yes straight off, boys are taught that no means convince me and it's so damaging for everyone involved.
@ohmiaohmy
May 1, 2026 at 5:06 pm
I think that public schools need to talk about consent more than almost anything in schools, and not in some cookie cutter way, but as a real conversation about enthusiastic, on-going consent.
@PrometheanFlame
May 1, 2026 at 5:06 pm
Is it necessary to convince someone to have sex with you? Like if they weren't on board in the first place you can't be sure that that person is making an active decision. When you're dealing with very aggressive men or men who try to take you away from your friends, isolate you and put pressure on you how can you actively consent? You might just want to get it over with so you can later just go home. There are books out there to teach women how to get out of "bad dating" situations. I borrowed a book from one of my friends. One such scenario involves a woman escaping from a bathroom window. Does that sound even remotely normal to you? Is it necessary for someone to be drunk in order for you to have sex with that individual? Sex is not supposed to be a game of deception and manipulation. It's not something that you can take from someone. If you see the act as empowering you at the expense of other people then you should reconsider your thoughts on sex. I get that this is difficult for you, you don't want to be implicated. You don't want to see yourself as a bad person. But we need to be real with each other. Our egos are not more important than other people's lives. We all do bad shit. We've all let our friends and family get away with hurting other people. We need to hold ourselves accountable for the harm we cause other people and our enabling of others.
@jaboodi
May 1, 2026 at 5:06 pm
This is a really good video. I feel like a lot of the discussion around consent focuses on the legal side of things like "If you do that it's rape and you could go to prison and ruin your whole future" but the real issue is the victims and their lives and their feelings.
@percussiongeek09
May 1, 2026 at 5:06 pm
Have you watch lacigreen video on consent and drinking? Her view may give you another side of drinking and consent.
@RaraAvis23
May 1, 2026 at 5:06 pm
Thank you for sharing so candidly. Hearing what you think has given me a unique perspective on this conversation.
Consent is a difficult issue, because people can get hurt or hurt each other without any malicious intention. Mostly, they fail to consider the other person. I appreciate the emotional turmoil thinking about this has caused and I think your ability to analyze your own life is very brave. It's hard to admit having possibly hurt someone, but in doing so you can move forward to prevent similar situations in the future.
@leoportier
May 1, 2026 at 5:06 pm
This was definitely a deeper video and I like it. You brought up an important issue, that yes… unfortunately is not spoken about or addressed. It doesn't help that some people do lie about these things, so something that is very serious and should not be joked about has already lost some credibility. That's very sad since people who are raped or taken advantage of lose trust for others, usually close off to the world and can be depressed, even to the point of suicidal. One person's actions have changed the victim's life, always for the worst.
Ultimately, it comes down to respect. Yes, you should always be mindful of the other person and respect their wishes. If the girl changes her mind last minute and the guy tries everything he can to convince her that night to go through with it, then he probably doesn't respect her that much and only cares that he gets laid. If she wants to wait, then respect that. It's almost criminally creepy and sleazy to take advantage of a drunk person, because they do not possess the cognitive capacity for consent. Many people could argue that but even being tipsy changes people. They are not fully in control even from a couple drinks, let alone being wasted. It's a bad idea to seduce them or agree to things if they hit on you.
@charlieosman6285
May 1, 2026 at 5:06 pm
I like listening to your opinions (: its refreshing
@TamBlanco14
May 1, 2026 at 5:06 pm
So…yep you ramble, but it still made sense to me when you conveyed being careful about how other people feel (specially after being "convinced or consenting to drunk sex or not having sex at the expense of other people and/or their feelings). Thanx!
…I could have listened to you talk more about "never put people on pedestals", could that be another video's topic? 😉
@kathy5003
May 1, 2026 at 5:06 pm
This is a good video. I think this topic needs to be made more known and brought up more often. I think that with having sex with other people sometimes it's done to please the other person. In the past I have had the thought process well this person wants to do it. I think that for girls there is definitely the pressure of being viewed as a slut, but I think there is also pressure as being viewed as perhaps stuck up or prude? Or maybe not being noticed or picked on. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I think some girls also don't want to be turned down or ignored by a guy so they do have sex with them. Anyway thanks for the video really good points where brought up. I like how you talked about taking other people's emotions into consideration. I think it's really important to think about the other person.
@TechPsych
May 1, 2026 at 5:06 pm
Like so many others, I wrote a response and immediately had to trash it. If I would have posted it, I would have received a sh*t storm of hate mail, possibly death threats and probably harassment. That is the problem. People have lost the ability to talk calmly and rationally about this topic. They immediately go into hyperbole and if you don't support everything they say then you are a feminazi or a participant in rape culture. There is absolutely no room for true discussion. Because of this, the issues never get aired and no progress is made. People who have questions, slightly differing opinions or alternative points of view are silenced out of fear of retribution. The silencing of the discussion then furthers ignorance and lessens the chance for people to work together for better solutions.
The struggle and confusion you exhibited in your video is the struggle we are dealing with around this topic. However, we are not allowed to voice opinions because we've lost respect for the value of public discourse and refuse to allow for any differing points of view. This is a very important issue that needs to be discussed. We desperately need to create a space where this discussion can be had.
@frycook813
May 1, 2026 at 5:06 pm
unscripted videos arent bad, i enjoyed the change
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