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Kristi Noem: Everything You Didn’t Know About Her Sh*tty Past

Hysteria | September 8, 2025



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In our 22nd episode of This F*cking Guy, Erin and Alyssa dive deep into the past of professional cosplayer and dog killing expert, Kristi Noem. From her affair with slime-ball Corey Lewandowski to her bootlicking position as Trump’s Secretary of Homeland Security, Noem has a costume (and bag of lies) for every occasion.

CHAPTERS
0:00 – Intro
0:30 – Kristi’s upbringing
5:25 – Kristi does politics
20:51 – Kristi & Trump’s relationship (and Corey)
24:00 – Ad break
26:16 – Kristi’s lies and political pick-me behavior
32:39 – Kristi becomes Secretary of Homeland Security

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SOURCES: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1n5DNd3t2Nce6x348OcRdsx9_8U7Av0g9eS8Pl3hu0YQ/edit?tab=t.0

Political commentator and comedy writer Erin Ryan and former White House Deputy Chief of Staff Alyssa Mastromonaco are joined by a bicoastal squad of funny, opinionated women to talk through everything from reproductive rights to romcoms. They break down the political news of the week, plus the topics, trends, and cultural stories that affect women’s lives. New episodes drop every Thursday. Get in touch: hysteria@crooked.com.

Photos courtesy of AP Photo Archive

Crooked Media believes that we need a better conversation about politics, culture, and the world around us—one that doesn’t just focus on what’s broken, but what we can do to fix it. We are a media network that showcases stories, voices, and opportunities for activism that inform, entertain, and inspire action, because it’s up to all of us to do our part to build a better world.

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Written by Hysteria

Comments

This post currently has 44 comments.

  12. @asilentmajority

    September 8, 2025 at 11:18 am

    So now we have Marco Rubio with a convicted drug felon brother in law, Trump who’s is a felon and on the Epstein list, and now Christie getting diddled and subsided whenever she could.

  14. @sand0can1

    September 8, 2025 at 11:18 am

    So I thought her dad died in stupidity accident and she claim he was killed by the grain?
    Also I guess you own taxes to it’s when you make profit. So why did you spend the government money (the taxes owned) and then cry you own them??

  16. @radpow87

    September 8, 2025 at 11:18 am

    I really enjoy your show! Honestly, I would even subscribe… but have you considered working alone? Your show is so good without that guest behind you.

  20. @ferrodell2194

    September 8, 2025 at 11:18 am

    Wow❗her METH campaign in her state is very telling of a white dysfunctional state & system gone bad❗& running out of control. Beyond intervention. Heard them up like cattle & lock them all up in concentration camp cow hide.
    🐂💊🐂💊🐂

  28. @DylanlovesZoey

    September 8, 2025 at 11:18 am

    Noem looks puffy. Why do some elderly women think puffing up their falling faces with filler makes them look young. It gives a very surreal weirdness kind of contrived aged beauty contest contender that got stuck there as time moved forward. Sad but deservedly creepy looking.

  33. @lindap.5120

    September 8, 2025 at 11:18 am

    Didn't S Dakota change its laws about business incorporation and so on, so that it's a good place to create shell companies and launder money now? I always figured it was the people who benefit from that, who have financed her.

  39. @sandraedwardsedwards2496

    September 8, 2025 at 11:18 am

    She doesn't have a clue WTF she's doing, but she sure knows what she doing with all the money she's funnels to herself . Just like the rest of the REPUBLICAN'S CONGRESS.
    She's a dumbass, and her face it looks like a press on face. She's absolutely a dough head. She doesn't have a clue…..TAKE HER OUT ASAP………

  41. @monkeyfinger7949

    September 8, 2025 at 11:18 am

    For some reason your YouTubes started showing up in my feed. I found your trash talking interesting so I watched a few. I can't say you are not scoring some good points. But are you two femi-Nazis going to trash talk some democrats at some point, or are these republican only condemnations?

Comments are closed.

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