It’s Okay if You Don’t Get Laid
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@cellaub9109
October 31, 2025 at 12:46 pm
Not only that you’re saving yourself from STD’s and unwanted pregnancies.
@commentorrlsv2707
October 31, 2025 at 12:46 pm
YES that's all I can say is yes, its perfectly fine to not get laid because honestly when you have a relationship with someone it's not about love anymore it's all about sex and war, nothing more and nothing less! So to everyone out there that's upset to not have a girl dont be, be single and be happy! And fuck the people that tell you otherwise
@Shady_Fungus
October 31, 2025 at 12:46 pm
I’d much rather click with someone one an emotional level on a day to day bases than be attracted to someone though being attractive helps. Someone who you can have a good time with regularly really goes a long way.
@wildhearses
October 31, 2025 at 12:46 pm
If it's not an enthusiastic yes! it's a no.
@ytsimmisty
October 31, 2025 at 12:46 pm
It's not a thing you do TO someone or FOR someone.
@Olivesandeggs
October 31, 2025 at 12:46 pm
Abstinance till 6 months into a relationship, or marraige i guess. it stops bad actors.
@Densoro
October 31, 2025 at 12:46 pm
"It's not something you do to" yeh
"or for someone." Oh…Shit, called me out where I live lmao Sometimes, the pressure to 'owe someone' sex convinced me that I couldn't even leave physically abusive relationships, because it was my 'duty' to get them off. What a mess.
A+ video dude.
@ItachiUchiha-ut6xj
October 31, 2025 at 12:46 pm
This is like saying 'food isn't that important' to a starving person while you're stuffing your face.
@guicaldo7164
October 31, 2025 at 12:46 pm
I knew it was the right call to subscribe to your channel.
@Gestureye7x
October 31, 2025 at 12:46 pm
You're one of the best thinkers on the internet! Wish you the best in every form! Bless up 2018!
@KarlCuxx
October 31, 2025 at 12:46 pm
>you not getting laid is a much better outcome than potentially being involved in some person's emotional confusion or distress.
Not so sure about that m8. A little too subjective to apply it broadly.
@carmennorth8482
October 31, 2025 at 12:46 pm
I love this video so much. It's really meaningful how you talk about your own experience and the attitudes you once held, but changed. I love listening to you talk so much.
@giveitadance
October 31, 2025 at 12:46 pm
on this topic – https://www.insidehighered.com/news/2016/06/29/masculinity-programming-university-redlands-hopes-help-men-be-authentic-selves
@MelaSu92
October 31, 2025 at 12:46 pm
I remember one guy that I had a fling with on one of our first dates, when it got really late, and there were no buses home anymore, I was so on the fence on what to do. Since at that point I wasn't sure, I actually wanted to sleep with him, but I also didn't want to make him think I wanted to sleep with him just by staying the night, which would have been the best and safest solution at 3 am in the morning. When I thought about what to do (I must have looked really tense), he suddenly turned to me and goes: "Hey.. You do know that whatever you do, or where you sleep, in my bed or in yours, you do know I am not going to sleep with you, right?" When I was just like: " what?" He goes: "well, obviously, no. Not if you don't explicitly tell me, that you want to at any point during the evening or night. You know, that's not why you are here right? Sex is not the goal. Good conversation is."
And at that moment, my at that point 19 year old self, felt a pressure lifted, that I have been carrying with me for over three years. Having come out of a relationship, where sex was always the goal. And where if you slept in the same bed as the guy, or your boyfriend, of course that meant you wanted to have sex. And where saying "I don't want sex right now" meant somebody would guilt trip you for the rest of the evening, even if it was your boyfriend of two years.
Even though that guy and I never actually got together, I still thank him in my mind, for making me realize the fucked up believe system that our society still reinforces about sex.
@Clippy_XJ36
October 31, 2025 at 12:46 pm
what r ur thoughts of open relationships, im just curious
@TheAlfredo094
October 31, 2025 at 12:46 pm
What do you think about the idea that it's rape if you pressured your partner to have sex or if they were drunk? That seems to be a popular idea right now.
@thepwningeggnog
October 31, 2025 at 12:46 pm
Then why does it make me miserable
@MrDontcareify
October 31, 2025 at 12:46 pm
I 100% agree with what he's saying, but going back to the nuance and complication, this is why I'm always gonna be single.
I know that nuance and complications exist, and I don't think TJ1 that you're question about all the nuance and complications leading to no one having sex being a "silly question".
Yes, it's obvious (again) that consent is necessary. But society runs into the question of "what is sex's/intercourse's purpose"?
For example, Japan as a culture is largely starting to become asexual because of their culture and the introduction of sex robots. Many Americans would find that weird, but once again, our society always has to negotiate what relationships and sex mean and it's more complicated than just what "one individual might experience".
@tdkfangirl
October 31, 2025 at 12:46 pm
Love your honesty as always. 🙂
@danielbonfield5295
October 31, 2025 at 12:46 pm
As a person who has been on both sides of the grey area–the one who has been taken advantage of, and the one who has pressured others into the same grey area–I am completely familiar with this. Mind you, most of this grey area was experienced when I was still in highschool and getting laid was erroneously considered as some sort of merit. To be honest, I haven't had sex in over a year since my last relationship and I am completely okay with that. I have done the one night stands, the friends with benefits, and the fleeting relationships. After a while it becomes so utterly exhausting working for something that ultimately had no real significance for me. I realized I need intimacy and connection for sex to mean anything to me. It's simply something that accentuates and strengthens a connection, but without that connection I'm just left rocking back and forth in the shower full of regret. Granted, I still have urges, I am human, but I have enough executive control to just masturbate and call it a day. I respect people who are content with seeking casual sex, and find enjoyment out of it, but I'm not that kind of person. Then again, you encounter the dominant narrative that says if you aren't getting laid there is something wrong with you. Prime example I can think of is Ross from Friends when he says he hasn't gotten laid in X amount of months, and his reason is that,"it's winter! It's cold! There aren't that many people out!" I apologize for my horrible paraphrasing. That always struck a chord with me…as if not getting laid is something to be ashamed of. It's a choice I've made because I value real intimacy over pretending to be interested in someone until they are enamored enough to give you a shot at their genitals. Which is fine if both parties are aware of the game at play, but I'd rather spend my time on something more meaningful. I'm an honest man. I wouldn't last a day in the hook-up culture, nor would I want to. Seems far too disingenuous to me. If that's your thing, then have at it, but make sure you aren't leading someone on who is expecting more.
@tamarlambert6121
October 31, 2025 at 12:46 pm
You said the thing!!! I thought it and you said it!!! you'we awesome mang
@aviendha1154
October 31, 2025 at 12:46 pm
Thank you! I've always hated how sex is treated as a prize. Just the way a lot of people talk about sex is wrong; "giving it up", "scoring" ect. It implies exactly what you're saying, that sex is something you get, not something two people do.
@Raytrek79
October 31, 2025 at 12:46 pm
Sex is pleasurable, not liking pleasure is unusual, but pleasure can be sourced from a range of activities in a range of ways, sex isn't the be all end all, it would largely just be inherent neurological programming that can overwhelming our ability to keep it in perspective.
@howstrangehowsmall
October 31, 2025 at 12:46 pm
Something that I have noticed about you, that I really appreciate, is that you don't just discuss social issues on a basic level. Your ideas seem well thought out. You take a different perspective from just ranting either for or against said issue. Like you said in this video, you could have just talked down to people, explaining consent, but that has been done. (Even though some people still don't seem to grasp it, but mostly they just don't care.) But talking about how the majority of people perceive sex as an entitlement or prize, as opposed to consent, it adds a nuance to a complex issue. I appreciate that. I noticed it too, when you did your response to Nicole Arbor's video. Instead of just ranting about how mean or wrong she was or ranting about how she can do what she wants and people are oversensitive; you provided a perspective on comedy itself. Even if I don't always agree with all your points, they are at least refreshing and different.
@painis_hard280
October 31, 2025 at 12:46 pm
I think I may need to disagree with you slightly in the role sex plays in mental health. If what we're talking about is a one time instance of "not getting laid" then absolutely, the idea of sex being a triumph often ruins what could be a powerful experience. But sometimes getting laid is really important to someone who hasn't had it in a long while and it can be more to them than just being denied a good time, it can be their very self-worth on the line. To be clear I'm of coarse not advocating these individuals should have the right to force themselves on other people, I guess I'm really just making an argument for legal prostitution. Not sure if I'm touching on your message exactly, but I think it needs to be underscored the importance of sex to an individuals well being.
@kimberlyidol
October 31, 2025 at 12:46 pm
Super thoughtful video. It adds something to the conversation that, as you said, has been over saturated with the same type of message over and over.
@liznik.999
October 31, 2025 at 12:46 pm
I so appreciate your message. The world needs many more men like you!
@Blademanunitpi
October 31, 2025 at 12:46 pm
It's nice to hear that. some times I feel judge when people realize I had not. I don't trust well enough for it to happen with any one.
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