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Conservative Magazine Releases Sex Issue For Horny MAGA Tradwives

Hysteria | May 9, 2026



Erin and Alyssa discuss Evie Magazine’s sex issue.

Political commentator and comedy writer Erin Ryan and former White House Deputy Chief of Staff Alyssa Mastromonaco are joined by a bicoastal squad of funny, opinionated women to talk through everything from reproductive rights to romcoms. They break down the political news of the week, plus the topics, trends, and cultural stories that affect women’s lives. New episodes drop every Thursday. Get in touch: hysteria@crooked.com.

Photos courtesy of AP Photo Archive

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Written by Hysteria

Comments

This post currently has 21 comments.

  1. @Crobertg10

    May 9, 2026 at 9:42 pm

    This is what gets me angry about the religious right, they don't want ANYONE to tell them how to live. They complain about Islam telling their people how to live and that is not good, HOWEVER, THEY love to tell other people how to live, pray, EFFF and live. NAAAHH I am good Eff that

  2. @MKeen-u7e

    May 9, 2026 at 9:42 pm

    Cosmo during the Sex in the City era replaced the Cult of Purity tradition with a “Cult of Competence,” where empowerment emphasized cishet white women getting “good” at, and asserting themselves, in sex. It’s not a surprise there are very similar tropes in Evie.

  3. @lindah5910

    May 9, 2026 at 9:42 pm

    Regarding post-partum sex. Did all of the men who want it WAY too damn early forget how to jack off?! Doubtful. If my then-husband had tried that I likely would have unalived him.

  4. @MKeen-u7e

    May 9, 2026 at 9:42 pm

    They are cultivating and reinforcing a male gaze in women. “Look at yourself and the world through men’s eyes.” Showing men in the magazine would encourage a female gaze and implicitly approve of women noticing attractive men who are not their husband’s.

  5. @billlyons4678

    May 9, 2026 at 9:42 pm

    Yeah, i dont think thats going to work for Matt Schlapp's wife, shes not gonna get it from him no matter what. But Ginny Thomas, that Clarence knows how to make the motor home rock!

  6. @Garfield.Farkle

    May 9, 2026 at 9:42 pm

    Republicans will put out vanilla material publicly, and orate about repressive "values" confining sex to acts of impregnation in the missionary position. I
    n practice, it's a totally different story. The lack of proper sex education and repression from the sado-masochistic American Taliban produces people with twisted ideas, fetishes and perversions that roll right into psychotic science fiction.
    Professionals will tell you the clients with the most bizarre fetishes are the conservative pillars of the community.
    From my own extensive dating experience, Republican women who seem so prim and proper become absolute savages in the sack.
    If they're gonna burn in hell for eternity, they're gonna go out in style, baby.
    Those are the ones you don't want to fall asleep next to, because you want the chances of you awakening to be a certainty, rather than a probability with a wide margin for error.
    The ones who do it wearing animal costumes? Betcha 99% of them are conservatives.

    Good grief, the leader of their cult is a sex offender who is a magnet for pedophiles and is covering up the Epstein Files to protect his friends.

  7. @alaskgirl1966

    May 9, 2026 at 9:42 pm

    I am 5' tall and weigh 145lbs. I would call myself "significantly overweight". My partner cannot seem to get enough of me. He is 71. I am 60. We are intimate no less than 3 times per week. Sorry to the Trad wives who are only procreating. Sex is a joyful thing not a baby making thing.

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