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How To SEDUCE & INFLUENCE Anyone With Psychology – TRY THIS & SEE RESULTS | Vanessa Van Edwards

Tom Bilyeu | December 23, 2025



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On Today’s Episode:

Social settings either get you hype and excited or they make you think of a thousand other things you’d rather do and any excuse that will get you off the hook from having to go.

When your fear of being around people and having to interact with them costs your dreams, your opportunities, and your growth, you have to do something different.

Vanessa Van Edwards, a.k.a. The recovering awkward person that sold millions of copies of her bestselling books, Captivate and Cues, has more tips than you can remember, so get the pen and paper or your favorite note-taking app ready. Her work with her company the Science of People has been dedicated to helping you learn to stop being awkward, start better conversations, connect with people and understand their verbal and nonverbal cues.

Some key points Vanessa share in this masterclass is:
How to master charisma
Why you want to listen to your gut
Understanding your level of openness, neuroticism and conscientiousness

Understanding your psychology is just the beginning. Knowing how to interpret cues in different social contexts and when to address them is next level. Vanessa gives away key ips for understanding yourself and the people around you. Warmth and competence is the magic dose to look for.

Books to check out by Vanessa Van Edwards:
Captivate: https://amzn.to/3IVvvZh
Cues: https://amzn.to/3wbVxjt

QUOTES:

ā€œI would rather you be aware of the cues that are being sent to you to know, ā€˜I want this or I don’t’ because they are that powerful, that if someone has bad intentions, they can still produce trust.ā€

ā€œThis is the challenge we have as cue readers, do you want to address the emotion or the cue?ā€

ā€œI think that people who doubt their ideas, and they doubt themselves, that leaks in their cues.ā€

ā€œHigh neurotics prevent crises from happening in the first place.ā€

ā€œI would rather live in hard truth than in ignorant bliss.ā€

ā€œCharisma is the perfect blend of being likable and powerful.ā€

ā€œCompetence without warmth leaves people feeling suspicious.ā€

ā€œThe best thing you can do is open with warmth, hit them with competence, and end with purpose.

Follow Vanessa Van Edwards:
Website: https://www.scienceofpeople.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/VanessaVanEdwardsYT/featured
Twitter: https://twitter.com/vvanedwards
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vvanedwards/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vvanedwards/

Written by Tom Bilyeu

Comments

This post currently has 22 comments.

  1. @edgartokman4898

    December 23, 2025 at 12:31 am

    Intelligent people simply think differently than average people. Their thoughts are on a whole different level, and when they’re with normal people, the expectation is generally that they’re supposed to change to ā€œfit in.ā€Intelligent people can have a hard time connecting with average people because they are not average.

  2. @Midwest_Slim

    December 23, 2025 at 12:31 am

    Shout out to our POTUS for giving "the pat" (which she refererenced without saying his name). A man who instinctually knows how to display dominance and superiority. šŸæ

  3. @nobodyknows3180

    December 23, 2025 at 12:31 am

    I googled "Lower Lid Flex" and the only hits I got referred back to this woman. I guess somehow she came up with this idea to make herself stand out from the crowd by pretending that "Lower Lid Flex" is actually a thing we all need to care about.

  4. @nobodyknows3180

    December 23, 2025 at 12:31 am

    LOL! I gave up listening when this dingbat started making out that vocal fry is some sort of 'personality flaw' that I need to be ashamed of. There is a whole other batch of women who will tell you vocal fry is actually sexy as hell.

  5. @andrew7202

    December 23, 2025 at 12:31 am

    As some who love no verbals and how it all plays out such an interesting interview!! Here’s a question for you guys, how do you control you emotions to be able to see these tells and ask the right questions base off what you see

  6. @ToriMyers-q2d

    December 23, 2025 at 12:31 am

    I totally get that feeling. You try to stay cool, but the moment someone you actually want to talk to engages, the anxiety kicks in, and it feels like everything falls apart. Then comes that frustration with yourself—it’s such a tough cycle. Have you ever tried grounding techniques or little conversation strategies to help ease the anxiousness in the moment?

  7. @704LucasM

    December 23, 2025 at 12:31 am

    science is not to call attention guys. Stop use science articles for personal credit.
    Some people are smarter than others, it is a mechanical thing, some have talent others, do not. Not to accept this is give your worst abilities to the world.
    She is talking about being convincing not being that at all, because of the lack of knowledge and competence.

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