menu Home chevron_right
FUNNY STUFF

I can never get rid of my mattress

Julie Nolke | September 6, 2026



My entire spine is misaligned right now…

Thank you to my paid partner Incogni! Use my link for 60% off annual plans: https://incogni.com/julie

Sign up to my Patreon for behind the scenes bloopers and early access to videos here: https://www.patreon.com/julienolke

Actors: Julie Nolke
Writer: Julie Nolke
Camera: Sam Larson
Editor: Alec McKay

Written by Julie Nolke

Comments

This post currently has 38 comments.

  1. @Sonatengraf

    September 6, 2026 at 3:32 am

    You know, media covering serious topics in a funny way can really help people in their lives. But, at least shows like Last Week Tonight leave you with a Call To Action or a positive spin at the end. Your resolution to the actually-common, basic-human-experience issue of embarrassment relating to a whatever-stained mattress is: "there's no way to dispose of this shame-filled artifact in an anonymous way". Welp…

  2. @sscoutistaken

    September 6, 2026 at 3:32 am

    I'm pretty sure I unsubbed because Julie was using one of the really bad sponsors… not that incogni isn't bad but compared… anyway, I guess I'll keep watching from now on until Julie features the really bad sponsors again…

  3. @IceNixie0102

    September 6, 2026 at 3:32 am

    Splatter like paint and kid food (applesauce, chocolate pudding) on it. Blame the kids for ruining the mattress. The neighbors won't be able to tell what is new and what is preexisting.

  4. @robertarisz8464

    September 6, 2026 at 3:32 am

    I hope that you, Julie, will not take offence to this, but I truly believe that you and your content are a national treasure. Your posts always lift my days – thank you.
    Lots of love from an expat in Geneva.

  5. @hannesangell

    September 6, 2026 at 3:32 am

    I once got rid of a mattress for a girl. It was easy, because I felt responsible, though the mattress was never mine.

    We where deployed in Kosovo on the Swedish main camp 'Camp Victoria'. I was living in a 2-4 person barracks (container, nothing wrong with it). There was 3 of us staying there. One of witch was the kind that laid in bed watching TV, neglecting some duties, mainly hygienic duties. He didn't get along with the platoon command. So he had himself transferred.

    We were asked to move the bed to a women's barracks, since a girl was recruited for his position. It was a relief to get rid of his disgusting bed. There was no one in, but there was a space prepared for the bed with drapes in front of the tree bedspaces. It looked a bit unsocial.

    The girl arrived and was well liked, she was capable and pleasant. After two weeks she came to me an asked if she was originally supposed to have been living with me and Erik, who since her arrival was on leave. I answered that her predecessor lived with us and we had been asked to move the bed.

    She wondered if she could move in with us. I had no problem and I took the freedom to answer for Erik, whom I had got to know as a bit mischievous, but very respectful too those he was living and working with. But I had one condition, the mattress was not allowed back. She had noticed it was a bit nasty. I apologized and got a new mattress from storage for her.

    I asked her why she'd rather live with us than the girls. Her answer was: 'You know how girls are'

    She moved in and Erik was thrilled. We got along very well. I think both of them did other tours.

    Suddenly we had gentlemen callers every day, whether she was in or not. If the light was on someone was knocking. Everyone was civil and nice!

Leave a Reply





This area can contain widgets, menus, shortcodes and custom content. You can manage it from the Customizer, in the Second layer section.

 

 

 

  • play_circle_filled

    92.9 : The Torch

  • play_circle_filled

    AGGRO
    'Til Deaf Do Us Part...

  • play_circle_filled

    SLACK!
    The Music That Made Gen-X

  • play_circle_filled

    KUDZU
    The Northwoods' Alt-Country & Americana

  • play_circle_filled

    BOOZHOO
    Indigenous Radio

  • play_circle_filled

    THE FLOW
    The Northwoods' Hip Hop and R&B

play_arrow skip_previous skip_next volume_down
playlist_play