TODAY
Live for Today. Hope for Tomorrow.
To get started for free, visit https://brilliant.org/aperture the first 200 of you will get 20% off Brilliant’s annual premium subscription. Read the story: https://aperture.gg/blogs/the-universe/live-for-today-hope-for-tomorrow Merch: https://aperture.gg/merch What exactly is tomorrow? For some, it is quite literally the day after today. For others, it invokes the idea of a near-distant future […]
Ex-Pedophile Shares Tips On How To Make Your Kids Less Attractive
Child safety expert and ex-pedophile Terry Parker drops in on the morning show to share some insider tips from his years spent as a sex offender!
Little Boy Heroically Shoots, Mutilates Burglar
8 year old Lucas Armitage has become a national hero after bravely defending his home by shooting a burglar multiple times in the chest and neck. For More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion
Today Now! : Boy Finds Own Real-Life E.T.
11 year old Thomas Demming visits Today NOW! with the magical friend he hid for weeks in his bedroom closet. For More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion
How To Play Golf Against The Man Whose Wife You’re Banging On The Side
On Today Now!, golf expert Jordan Ritter has some Pro Tips for maintaining a steady swing while hitting the links with your mistress’ husband.
