menu Home chevron_right
FUNNY STUFF

Charity Accidentally Gives People Meth

Josh Johnson | October 6, 2024



Come see me live:
Check out https://joshjohnsoncomedy.com/tour for dates and sign up for the waitlist to be notified when I’m performing in your city.

Hi Friends,

This week I wanted to share thoughts on a particularly weird story coming out of New Zealand. New Zealand is one of those countries I have always wanted to visit but haven’t made it to yet. Known as one of the safer countries to travel to it makes the story even more odd and shocking.

I also wanted to share my thoughts on what feels like the mind migration people are making as far as their political views and opinions. Have you ever had a conversation with someone who had deeply held beliefs on the economy, religion, the 2nd amendment, or women’s reproductive rights but the entire time they were talking you were thinking to yourself, how much of this is a performance?

Also with the rise in discussion about critical race theory, DEI, and inclusive language most people have had to ask for the first time what those things even mean as well as whether or not they agree with the narratives. One thing that always bothers me is when a new term or social attitude arises and there are some that, rather than learning with the rest of us, act like they always knew and were ahead of the pack because they’re just that good and holy.

We’re all learning, about the world and each other, and with that learning comes the need for patience and compassion. New ways of thinking don’t always mean right ways of thinking but discussion is the key to better ideas no matter how odd those ideas seem at first.

If you love my stories I have a podcast that comes out every week: https://bit.ly/3NQmpio

Hit me on them internets:
Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/joshjohnsoncomedy
TikTok – https://www.tiktok.com/@joshjohnsoncomedy
Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/JoshJComedy

Video Directed by Jacob Menache
Recorded at DC Improv in Washington, DC

Written by Josh Johnson

Comments

This post currently has 47 comments.

  1. @paranormalsoulz

    October 6, 2024 at 8:44 am

    Not so fun fact: the stereotype of β€œpeople put things in your kids candy on Halloween” in America is actually from a famous murder case by Ronald Clark O'Bryan. He put poison in pixy sticks to kill his own children to get life insurance money. Of course at first they didn’t know it was him, and just knew that he got poisoned from some Halloween candy.

  2. @wtfvenusss

    October 6, 2024 at 8:44 am

    k so no one asked, but when Josh said the thing about β€œremember journals?” i had to say: i have my journal to the left of me now, its my companion until i fill it and buy another one. i want to do it more often because its great for my health. i encourage everyone to do it because its a good way to help processing thoughts so that you can better understand them, which can help bring a sense of closeness w yourself. journaling and meditation helps me keep a clearer mind and stay regulated. ok thats all.
    love , venus πŸ©΅πŸ’«

  3. @alysonm1289

    October 6, 2024 at 8:44 am

    Back in the 70s 80s or 90s A father poisoned pixie stix gave them to his kids and a few of their friends happened in the us true crime fan lol. Happened on Halloween. It happened again in another country and Tylenol poisonings before safety bottles

  4. @youraverageBAMF

    October 6, 2024 at 8:44 am

    Oh… ok had a classmate talking about spotting a rat in his apartment building I asked him what color was the rat, if its cute and if he should name the rat, then nobody ever really wanted to talk to me for the rest of the semester. I was a little hurt but I see the reason now

  5. @themagicofwater

    October 6, 2024 at 8:44 am

    What bothers me is that this guy’s show comes up after each subscription I watch. I like the man, ok. Please stop forcing comedians down people’s throat! If an entertainer’s content touches many people, their popularity will be made known. Nothing should be forced. Please stop!

  6. @Miss_Camel

    October 6, 2024 at 8:44 am

    When I was young and working as an apprentice, I lived with my father and his wife and daughter in their very nice home, weekly housekeeping and all, but I randomly had a mouse who lived in my bedroom. I had a cat at the time that brought every type of game imaginable to the door ever day, but she never caught my mouse. Anyway, his name was Hubert and I used to leave him snacks and every few weeks he’d wake me up munching on crackers and I’d turn on the lamp and give him THAT look, and he’d freeze and then run off. Godspeed, Hubert.

  7. @aliyahabrahams

    October 6, 2024 at 8:44 am

    23:58 I feel like they are trying to change the dictionary definition of racism just so that they can say black people can’t be racist. It feels kinda like an excuse because the dictionary definition of racism can absolutely apply to any race.

  8. @tiwantiwaabibiman2603

    October 6, 2024 at 8:44 am

    I'm from Chicago and we have freakin "Super Rats". They're bold AF! Once were at my a relative's apartment on the south side and a rat walked out into the living room where we were.
    It just walked out slow, looking at us like "What yall talking about and can I get some of that food?" When we jumped up to chase it away and threw stuff at it, it was like whatever b#%ches and walked into the other room… LOL!!!

  9. @reesf743

    October 6, 2024 at 8:44 am

    He's right, you can get bedbugs so easy. I got bit by a bedbug at the movie theater and saw one on a bus. They're in hotels and storage units, moving vans, be careful if you come home and notice bites on you to wash those clothes right away

  10. @DeidresStuff

    October 6, 2024 at 8:44 am

    I work at a church. We have flies in the kitchen where the offices are. Not in the offices. Not in the big kitchen in the social hall. Just the small kitchen by the offices. So, so many flies. We're only there part time, and the only thing we use is the coffee maker. There is no food, the pipes aren't leaking, we clean it. But apparently we've angered God with our Keurig because it's a Biblical plague in there.

  11. @sagittarius_a_starr

    October 6, 2024 at 8:44 am

    I’m calling it now…
    Best comedian of our generation.
    The proliferation…
    The precision…
    The adaptability…
    The composition…
    Fresh, everytime. At least 75% fresh… which is 70% more than most comics…
    I’m about to lecture. But no one gives a sh-t about my thoughts…
    I’ll just keep calling it out.

  12. @InverseofAbstersive

    October 6, 2024 at 8:44 am

    I know a blud. And i know he's a blud because he dresses like a cherry popsicle. Modern fellas kinda work their colors into patterns, this guy's like 55 and he dresses like Mario Van Peebles is about to tell him to stay in school. Walmart sweatshirt and sweatpants matching singles, sunglasses and a hat.

    So he comes up to me and says, hey man, sorry i missed your party. Ok, problem is, i didn't throw a party, but a different white guy did. Not only was it the wrong white guy, but he's 3 inches taller and twenty pounds heavier. We don't look alike.

    I was like, do you think i'm Bill, and he said, uh, you're not? And i was like, no, man, that's a different squarehead. And he went, oh shiz, i'm profiling.

    It was awesome. As a white guy i don't get to be offended and high road everybody that often. 90% of the time I'm on the receiving end of the lecture. I let him off the hook right away, i was just having a good time.

  13. @InverseofAbstersive

    October 6, 2024 at 8:44 am

    Never trust black dudes that like white people too much. Because if they can sell out their own reflection in the mirror, when the time comes, you will be a speed bump. I took one look at Herman Cane and was like, yeah, the other shoe's gonna drop.

    I like my black friends suspicious. Ironically, it relaxes me.

  14. @Stardust_7273

    October 6, 2024 at 8:44 am

    My mom just told me a story about a mouse she put out just before I was born. It only had one eye. She said they took it out to a field and let it go, but it came back, and she knew it was the same mouse cuz it had one eye! πŸ˜‚πŸ

  15. @KiwiLombax15

    October 6, 2024 at 8:44 am

    Opening with the mouse had me instantly flashing back to a few months ago when I was the unwilling participant in a tom and jerry skit. We live in an old villa, and it was winter, so mice were a given, and this big mouse had learned that my room was warm, sometimes had food (folks, take plates to the kitchen when you're done, don't leave them there), and that traps were fun. I got. No sleep. For days. He was big, bold, and had no fear. Any trap set out was licked clean. I wired a piece of pork rind to the trigger plate of the trap. And the little bastard stole the wire, too! They say mice will avoid traps that smell like people. BULL. SHIT.
    One night i got so frustrated and exhausted by the sound of rustling as he licked the trap clean that I got up and rebaited it with more peanut butter. I knew it wouldn't work but sleep deprivation and rage is a hell of a drug. And then lay on my bed, staring at the dark ceiling in silent fury as I heard him cleaning it off literally the second I got back under the covers. He finally got cocky but maaaan that was a long week.And the little bastard stole the wire, too!

  16. @djthakidd1

    October 6, 2024 at 8:44 am

    πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£ I love that he goes into β€œa cant be racist” then when he gives examples of him being racist it’s not even racism πŸ€£πŸ”ŒπŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜­

Leave a Reply





This area can contain widgets, menus, shortcodes and custom content. You can manage it from the Customizer, in the Second layer section.

Β 

Β 

Β 

Newsletter

  • play_circle_filled

    92.9 : The Torch

  • cover play_circle_filled

    01. Cyborgphunk
    Grover Crime, J PierceR

    file_download
  • cover play_circle_filled

    02. Glitch city
    R. Galvanize, Morris Play

    add_shopping_cart
  • cover play_circle_filled

    03. Neuralink
    Andy Mart, Terry Smith

    add_shopping_cart
  • cover play_circle_filled

    04. Chemical happyness
    Primal Beat, Kelsey Love

    add_shopping_cart
  • cover play_circle_filled

    05. Brain control
    Grover Crime

    add_shopping_cart
  • cover play_circle_filled

    01. Neural control
    Kenny Bass, Paul Richards

    add_shopping_cart
  • cover play_circle_filled

    02. Prefekt
    Kenny Bass, Paul Richards, R. Galvanize

    add_shopping_cart
  • cover play_circle_filled

    03. Illenium
    Grover Crime, J PierceR

    add_shopping_cart
  • cover play_circle_filled

    04. Distrion Alex Skrindo
    Black Ambrose, Dixxon, Morris Play, Paul Richards

    add_shopping_cart
  • cover play_circle_filled

    Live Podcast 010
    Kenny Bass

  • cover play_circle_filled

    Live Podcast 009
    Paula Richards

  • cover play_circle_filled

    Live Podcast 008
    R. Galvanize

  • cover play_circle_filled

    Live Podcast 007
    Kenny Bass

  • cover play_circle_filled

    Live Podcast 006
    J PierceR

  • cover play_circle_filled

    Live Podcast 005
    Gale Soldier

  • cover play_circle_filled

    Live Podcast 004
    Kelsey Love

  • cover play_circle_filled

    Live Podcast 003
    Rodney Waters

  • cover play_circle_filled

    Live Podcast 002
    Morris Play

  • cover play_circle_filled

    Live Podcast 001
    Baron Fury

play_arrow skip_previous skip_next volume_down
playlist_play