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We Hated the New Jurassic Park Movie – Matteo Lane & Nick Smith – I Never Liked You 79

Matteo Lane | April 4, 2026



THIS WHOLE EPISODE IS FULL OF SPOILERS! We saw Jurassic Park: Rebirth and… yeah, we hated it. Confusing plot, weird choices, zero stakes. We break down why this movie didn’t work — and why we’re tired of this franchise coming back from the dead.

🎧 Bonus Content: https://www.patreon.com/INeverLikedYouPodcast
🔗 Nick: https://linktr.ee/nicksmith09
🔗 Matteo: https://matteolanecomedy.com
🎬 Producer: https://www.instagram.com/chris.mp4

#INeverLikedYouPodcast #JurassicPark #JurassicParkRebirth #MatteoLane #NickSmith #MovieReview #ComedyPodcast

Written by Matteo Lane

Comments

This post currently has 24 comments.

  3. @paulpittsburgh

    April 4, 2026 at 7:56 pm

    I COULDN'T STAND HIS MOVIE EITHER.
    I KEPT WIGGLING AROUND IN MY SEAT
    BECAUSE I WAS IN AGONY SITTING THERE
    AND FINALLY, TOWARDS THE END, I WALKED
    OUT AND SAT OUTSIDE THE THEATER PEOPLE
    WATCHING.

  10. @ChrisTopher-wl6pd

    April 4, 2026 at 7:56 pm

    Drex looks like the Rancor from Star Wars

    the plastic snickers wrapper somehow shorting out the door… that apparently has a ventilation intake at FLOOR LEVEL??!??!?!?!

  16. @Morgan-x5q

    April 4, 2026 at 7:56 pm

    Its sad that this isn't jurassic park it's Jurassic world and it's ruining the franchise. Since 2015 with the inaccurate dinos that could of been updated like they planned to be in the original JP4 script and cancled video game. They could of kept the awesome aesthetic of the park with its safari feel and not go soulless corpo apple store look. They could of had a story of the new working park breaking down with all new dinos breaking out not just the one evil big bad or tell a new story entirely.

    JP could of been an amazing franchise with the plot going into more of human extinction from a virus brought back from the past carried by dinos. The same dinos some how breeding on the mainland.

    And could of used the amazing stuff from the books to form the perfect sequels like the DX disease and other stuff.

    Lastly wish we had the talented stan winston or his son do the dinosaurs. The reason they looked real in the OG is because they used an amazing team that made animatronics and the designs.

    Rebirth double down on what's wrong with the franchise sadly. And they make these movies more like fast and the furious or godzilla rather than honor JP.

  17. @beckismith3934

    April 4, 2026 at 7:56 pm

    I cant even count how many times ive watched this episode . U have made me laugh wen i cried. U have made me laugh tmi on the toilet having a time ! . I am soo thankful

Comments are closed.

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