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KUDZU : KUDZU LIFE

Coaching My Parents Before Eating at a Restaurant (Extended Version)

Drew Talbert | February 17, 2026



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Written by Drew Talbert

Comments

This post currently has 23 comments.

  1. @zoedujour

    February 17, 2026 at 6:35 am

    Omg. I felt this in my soul.
    I didnt realize how awful my parents were until I started working in a sit down restaurant at 16.
    They did ALL of this shit.

  2. @64imma

    February 17, 2026 at 6:35 am

    Literally had this kind of interaction on my birthday when my mom took me out for dinner at a microbrewery.

    Server: Hi! My name is (name), and I'll be…
    Mom: It's my son's birthday today? Do you have any free desserts?
    Server: Umm, yeah, we have (lists desserts)
    Mom: Okay, let's get a turtle sundae!
    Server: Great! Would you like anything to drink?
    Mom: orders beer flight and waters
    Server: Okay, great! walks away
    Mom: She must be new! Doesn't she know that the place makes most of its money off drinks?
    Me: I mean, you interrupted her and disrupted her flow!

  3. @epicjoyfulcreations4580

    February 17, 2026 at 6:35 am

    The whole ā€œHow can I help you?ā€ ā€œI’d like a million dollars/the winning lottery ticketā€ is just a true pain across all of the service industry. I am nowhere near paid enough to laugh at some customer’s unfunny jokes.

  4. @MsMathie1

    February 17, 2026 at 6:35 am

    I used to have a friend that would order their food as soon as the server walked up. Before they could say anything and also say they needed a to go box and they meant they wanted it all at once. So embarrassing!

  5. @Aubreywilson-r4r

    February 17, 2026 at 6:35 am

    I hate going out with my family because my step dad snaps his fingers to get a waiter and says yes when they ask if everyone is ready EVEN THOUGH WE ARENT AND THEN I SEEM AWFUL BECAUSE I CANT MAKE A DECISION FAST WNOUGH RAAAAAHAHHHHHHHHHHH AND HE DOES THE THING OF SAYING WERE READY TO ORDER WHEN WERE ONLY READY TO ORDER DRINKS!!! I always try and like make a facial expression of ā€œI’m sorry, I can’t stop himā€ and if we go out as a family they’ll start chatting in the middle of ordering and I’m just there like ā€œimma leaveā€

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