The Modern World Is Making Men Lonely, Addicted & Lost! – Escape Society’s Matrix | Gabor Matè
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On Today’s Episode:
Either you or someone you know is dealing with illness on some level. Whether it’s an autoimmune condition, metabolic disorder, or mental health crisis, it’s hard to escape the reality of how sick our society has become and so we’ve normalized our lack of health and made it the new norm without really questioning why.
In our fast-paced technological world where medical breakthroughs are more common it feels like we’re further from a solution than when we started or we’re just solving for problems we’ve been creating and consequently we’re farther from optimal health than ever before. At what cost is all this happening?
Dr. Gabor Mate is a world renowned trauma and addiction expert with over 40 years experience and respect looking at how trauma has been affecting us from childhood long into our adult years. Today he’s discussing The Myth of Normal, also the title of his latest book on trauma, illness, and healing in a toxic culture. From the very beginning Gabor exposes the myth and explains why this new norm we’ve accepted is actually making us sick.
Between exposing how trauma in our childhood and suppressed anger lead to autoimmune diseases and how our adaptive responses to bad parenting decisions cause a plethora of problems in our adult lives, Gabor Mate is laying down food for thought that will shift the way you see everything.
Check out Gabor Mate’s latest book, The Myth of Normal, Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture: https://amzn.to/3RQl0rg
SHOW NOTES:
0:00 | Introduction to Gabor Mate
0:39 | What Is the Myth of Normal
6:20 | Authenticity & Attachment
10:37 | Boundaries For Unconditional Love
19:45 | Nature’s Agenda for Humans
30:50 | Best Human Conditions to Thrive
36:36 | Stop Suppressing Healthy Anger
47:39 | Depression & Disconnection
53:32 | Emotional Regulation to Trauma
59:46 | Breaking Traumatic Cycles
1:12:35 | Healing Childhood Adaptations
1:23:50 | Conditions of Unconditional Love
1:27:14 | Changing an Unhealthy Culture
QUOTES:
“In this culture the norm is neither healthy nor is it natural, in fact the norm I think is making us sick.” [0:56]
“Illness in this society given the conditions is a normal response to an abnormal circumstance.” [1:11]
“That means we have to be in touch with our gut feelings and our emotions and to be true to them, and so what we need is relationships is which we can be true to ourselves, that’s a directive.” [4:25]
“When you suppress your emotions you’re suppressing your immune system as well.” [5:55]
“Infant is an expectation for unconditional acceptance. […] We evolved as expectations for certain conditions. The less a society meets those conditions the more toxic it becomes…” [7:56]
“You can set boundaries through just love, through relationship, through example, it doesn’t have to involve force and it certainly doesn’t have to involve physical force.” [13:26]
“You may know on some level that your parents love you because they feed you, they hug you, but at the same time these people that love you are deeply hurting you, that’s traumatic.” [18:38]
“Wealth is defined as a set of social connections rather than a set of physical possessions.” [27:55]
“In this society, it’s the worst of us that get nourished and the best of us that gets suppressed.” [30:56]
“Not feeling your anger was an adaptation to your childhood where the anger wasn’t permitted. That emotional physiological effort to repress anger takes a toll on the nervous system and the immune system. It’s a major role in disease ” [42:10]
“Healthy anger is a boundary defense.” [44:15]
“When you suppress the emotions, you’re also suppressing the immune system.” [45:42]
“Trauma is an imprint that makes you react to the present like you’re still a child, […] it’s automatic, it’s unwilled…” [55:39]
“What stresses people are a loss of control, uncertainty, conflict and lack of information.” [1:05:15]
“Having love for a person doesn’t mean that you’re going to put up with everything that they do, […] we have to draw our boundaries, but the question is how do we draw our boundaries and in what spirit and with what intention?” [1:24:41]
“Why should we settle for the worst versions of ourselves…” [1:33:13]
Follow Gabor Mate:
Website: https://drgabormate.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsRF06lSFA8zV9L8_x9jzIA
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gabormatemd/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/drgabormate
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drgabormate
@TomBilyeu
February 3, 2026 at 8:38 am
What do you think is the biggest issue we face in society today? Drop a comment below!
@SifuPaul-Martialmindmastery
February 3, 2026 at 8:38 am
Gabor Mate is brilliant. Great interview. His advice on parenting is also spot on.
@gelwitme
February 3, 2026 at 8:38 am
speak your kids language..meet them where theyre at and respond with true love wisdom and care?
@esterm.durante1898
February 3, 2026 at 8:38 am
No hay traducción al castellano, es realmente una pena, ya que los aportes del de. Matte son muy valiosos.
@lashuellas_delalmaenterrada
February 3, 2026 at 8:38 am
''What you resist persists.''
The more we fight our nature and traumas, the more force we allow for it to generate within our psyches, not in a very pleasant way also.
The more we repeat this, the sicker we become as a whole/collective/society.
Repression is never the answer.
The answer is within, in the deeper layers of our souls.
''He who looks inside awakens, he who looks outside dreams.''
Hope you can find it there.
Peace.
@SpriteoftheDnieper
February 3, 2026 at 8:38 am
Spanking is child abuse, full stop. Much of what he says is true. But books like “Hunt Gather Parent” talk about these tribal parenting techniques. Children naturally do want to mimic parents. But you will sometimes have to lovingly set boundaries, because toddlers will break them just to get a reaction (if they can). For anyone reading, the book talks about both how to change your lifestyle and perspective to minimize any conflict, but also how to set those boundaries in a kind way. Thankfully I read it before my toddler entered toddlerdom, but it’s made for a mutually joyful and harmonious toddler-mother life 🙂 If you aren’t raised with a healthy model, books like “The Nurture Revolution” and “Hunt Gather Parent” help fill in those gaps!
@SheepDoG24-7
February 3, 2026 at 8:38 am
This guy is not realistic in the parenting roles with many blanket statements. I think people just like his voice
@SheepDoG24-7
February 3, 2026 at 8:38 am
This dude does not have a clue
@SG-ce7ji
February 3, 2026 at 8:38 am
❤❤❤❤❤
@Shirley-v3g
February 3, 2026 at 8:38 am
Let’s start by realizing our own limitations – as damaged goods – are not equipped (emotionally) to become a parent – and there is no law compelling anyone to marry or become a parent /
I believe in healing yourself first… and becoming productive and healthy.. over time – life is not a race ! Just my own thoughts….
@gf5914
February 3, 2026 at 8:38 am
The interviewer is not learning.
@Marekxxk
February 3, 2026 at 8:38 am
Phenomenal
@lab-9094
February 3, 2026 at 8:38 am
Hello Tom. Very interesting interview. Thanks for sharing it with everyone.
I noticed that you interrupted Gabor multiple times talking over him when he wasn't done yet with his point. I feel that it might be better to jot down these comments and bring them up after he finishes speaking. Cheers
@lah1743
February 3, 2026 at 8:38 am
Being a mom was probably the only real good thing I've done. People criticized the way I raised my child, but I carried, never punished, and gave whatever I could. My daughter and I now are a team, and she is confident, and all what I wished for for her, a force to contend with, kind, and respectful to others. Who she is is her doing, not mine. She tells me, you had to have a bad mom, to learn how to be a good mom. I'm so glad she understands.
@carriannegreyeyes4990
February 3, 2026 at 8:38 am
Love love love. I'm so happy hearing this because it reinforces how I live my life.😁
@SendU2Jesus
February 3, 2026 at 8:38 am
Huh. Turns out shaming others is pretty detrimental to society as a whole.
@spacetimegeezy
February 3, 2026 at 8:38 am
It’s not the modern world it’s late stage capitalism
@investing_surfer
February 3, 2026 at 8:38 am
wow that is some interesting stuff. I wonder if thats just opinion about the kids that don't get hit turn out better.
@mrmcgooo3198
February 3, 2026 at 8:38 am
1 question, does this guy have children? I would love to hear their view of him as a parent. I love Starbucks and Dr office talk. In theory it may or may not work. He is talking semantics about hitting and spanking. I guess there is no consequences for actions. Haha this guy lives in fantasy land!!!!!!
@jimcunningham9975
February 3, 2026 at 8:38 am
In theory what hes saying is alright it's more complex the further advanced Humans get with progress and today's kid see a different type of attachment reward
@waynesutherland-rs6ct
February 3, 2026 at 8:38 am
watch animals care for there offspring
@JeanValJean-t2j
February 3, 2026 at 8:38 am
It is fear of the unknowen that the poison
@ancientstonesrocksart
February 3, 2026 at 8:38 am
Yeah I am lonely and addicted and lost this is true.
@fwdkad4001
February 3, 2026 at 8:38 am
My favourite psycologist since 2008
@blessbrian1295
February 3, 2026 at 8:38 am
As an African. Spanking is way of life and we grow up in it. I think I am who I am today because of spanking and I thank my parents for it.
@EdaurdoCruz-k4e
February 3, 2026 at 8:38 am
We are born by our self and die by our self, if you believe in god , then he’s not as powerful as we believe. Just live your life that best you can, there’s years I’ve gone with ou a female companion, it is what it is. If I die alone so be it. But to sit and complain and not do or try to get what you want , that’s cowardly. You are listening to this guy whom in a different time would be considered week but now we’ve been fooled into listening to he’s weak points of views . You’re born you die , you decide how you live in between
@xiko_campos
February 3, 2026 at 8:38 am
Honestly this video's content just doesn't match the title whatsoever.
@peterorzol
February 3, 2026 at 8:38 am
Sir this man's research has opened up my eyes to the years of trauma and emotions that suppress. The moment I started addressing these issues Dr Gabor Monte is talking about and started being authentic and honest with myself in my life has done a 180. Now all I want is more and more knowledge on this subject and the way he approaches it. I just can't get enough.
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