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CINEMADONNA: “I’m Going to Tell You a Secret”

Todd in the Shadows | December 27, 2025



The final Cinemadonna takes a look at Madonna’s worst-ever album!

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Written by Todd in the Shadows

Comments

This post currently has 43 comments.

  4. @loukalu

    December 27, 2025 at 2:30 am

    Madonna attempting to solve Israel and Palestine with pop music was literally the last thing I would’ve guessed would happen in this movie

  6. @thema1998

    December 27, 2025 at 2:30 am

    As of 4 minutes ago, I finished watching "Cinemadonna". It's a shame that this show ended on a whimper but Madonna's the one that chose to make the documentary. If Madonna's biopic "Who's That Girl" ever exits development hell, I hope that you'd still be around to make a one-off special. You roasting her many bad movies was golden! 😂👌

    (March 17, 2025 – 8:00 P.M.)

  8. @aVerveQuest

    December 27, 2025 at 2:30 am

    After looking over a few of these videos it seems that the only real consensus is that Madonna is still between 12 – 16 years old. Her teenage years are just stretched out over the last 40

  14. @anastasiae.5338

    December 27, 2025 at 2:30 am

    You know the people who always say performers shouldn't talk about their politics only do so when the performer isn't on their side. So if you're a bitchy little whiner that thinks celebrities don't have the right to speak on their politics, then you shut your damned mouth, too. It's usually republicans and they only do it because nobody is allowed to think the opposite of what they think or they lose their damned minds. Sure it happens on the other side, but not half as often.

  16. @authoranonymous8892

    December 27, 2025 at 2:30 am

    It's not like this was Madonna suddenly "trying to be political," she was political when "Truth or Dare" came out too. It's just in 2004 she was talking about politics, whereas in 1991 her politics took the form of pissing off moral guardians.

  17. @Kochiha

    December 27, 2025 at 2:30 am

    Geez, they turned American Life into a nu metal song. I mean they had to, considering the original sounds like a kid playing with an octave pedal and a siren.

  21. @judsongaiden9878

    December 27, 2025 at 2:30 am

    1:53 She was raised Catholic before she became a Kabbalist. She probably embraced that "Whore of Babylon" (a symbolic representation of an oppressive church that uses the principles of "order" to oppress people) and "Beast of Revelation" (the government version of the same concept) style of imagery thinking that they represent rebellion against oppression. In reality, that combined principality is turbo-fash to the max. Gotta wonder if she'd find it ironic that the Vatican (which backed the Third Reich) is the power behind the throne of the Beast of Revelation (the Fourth Reich). Oh, and she's a fan of Aleister Crowley who referred to himself as "The Beast 666," an ignorant pretense on his part, especially since he was critical of Shitler, rightly calling him out as a "black magician." See Crowley's hypocrisy there? Shitler was the proto-Beast, the third of four antichrists, so you'd think Crowley (himself a black magician) would have been a fan.
    2:39 That sounds like something a teenager would say. Way to learn hard into the stereotype of men never maturing past 17.
    2:56 That's not what THE Beast is. The Beast of Revelation is the fourth and final antichrist (the first being Charlemagne) and his turbo-fash imperialist regime, the final incarnation of the Roman empire, which will rise from Europe (devised by the descendants of Assyria who are obsessed with totalitarian "order").
    7:20 "I didn't speak to him for 24 hours." Who talks like that? Why not say, "I didn't speak to him for a whole day."?
    8:17 New Age? Not exactly. Kabbala is ancient, one of the OG esoteric crafts. That might be why others, like Freemasonry, borrow from its iconography.
    10:18 Technically, that counts as an approximate rhyme (an incredibly lame one).
    11:50 If she's an Illuminist as well as a Kabbalist, then it figures she'd go with that internationalist pinko anthem. The Illuminati's ultimate goal (which is political rather than esoteric) is to achieve "world peace" via global government. On paper, they say it would be a federation, but in practice, anyone who knows history knows it would be an imperialist police state. It's better for the global political landscape to be based on civic nationalism – a free world made up of free nations populated by free citizens. There'd still be "order" and "peace," but those principles wouldn't be emphasized over freedom. Only the weak-minded favor "order" over freedom.

  27. @Sousyned

    December 27, 2025 at 2:30 am

    Oh that final song has not aged well post pandemic, huh?

    Cringey out of touch rich person inspiring the little people through the power music. Honestly, it’s kind of on brand for Madonna?

  35. @dallaschamberlain97

    December 27, 2025 at 2:30 am

    This is a great companion piece to the American Life Trainwreckords

    And when I thought the American Life rap couldn’t possibly get any better, Modonna went and put a metal style breakdown under it

  36. @silverstrandforest3374

    December 27, 2025 at 2:30 am

    Omgosh as soon as Madame X dropped I thought of your channel and this series🥰🥳 I sure hope it being mainly “just a concert movie” doesn’t disqualify it cause it was just the most cringey ass cringe fest I have seen in a long looooooooong time. I often times just could not and had to avert or cover my eyes. So far the reviews aren’t great but also there aren’t a whole lot of ‘em to begin with. I would love to hear your take Todd!! Please be the silver lining to the experience of having to sit through this joyless virtue signaling cultural appropriating mess.
    Just fyi imo she’s a freakin legend for her work in the 80’s and 90’s but like so many I wish she’d hung up her rosaries/cone-bra after “Music”, or at least “Confessions..”, but we’re here now so might as well share in our suffering amiright?😅💕

  38. @AJOmega2

    December 27, 2025 at 2:30 am

    4:21 – okay, aside from everything else in this video being completely true, the nu-metal live version of American Life does kinda slap.

    Doesn't fix the shitty lyrics, but hey, there's only so much a chugging guitar riff can do.

  40. @classiclife7204

    December 27, 2025 at 2:30 am

    Madonna is the most pretentious human being who has ever lived. After about 1986, it's just been endless pretension. "Ray of Light" was her last good record and should've been her farewell, but she was too pretentious to stop trying to be a relevant pop star. Look at how many of these movies Todd had to review to finish the series. Why was her cinematic career permitted to continue?

  41. @blackpeter70

    December 27, 2025 at 2:30 am

    Alek Keshishian faded back into obscurity (from whence he came)after the Madonna Experience, and he was a pretty decent director. Not much to his name, but there you go…

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