The TRUTH About Becoming a Dad: What Research Shows
Dr. Darby Saxbe, professor of psychology and director of the NEST Lab at the University of Southern California, studies what actually happens to men when they become fathers. And some of her findings challenge everything we assume about the so-called “dad bod.”
She reveals that across both animal and human studies, males tend to gain weight when they become fathers. It’s not just the sleep deprivation and stress-driven diet changes (though those play a role). She points to a study of tamarin monkeys fed a standardized diet: the expectant fathers gained more weight than monkeys who weren’t about to have offspring, even eating exactly the same food. The body changes happened before birth. Her theory is that it’s adaptive: a larger body is more imposing against rivals and provides a buffer against food scarcity.
Then comes the counterintuitive part. Studies of single women found that when shown a range of male body types, the dad bod is the most popular. Beyond attraction, women read the dad bod as a signal that a man is more likely to be a hands-on, attentive, caring father, qualities that are genuinely attractive. She contrasts this with the online reaction when singer Olly Murs posted his ripped, toned-up physique: many women said they preferred the before picture.
Discover:
• Why men physically gain weight when they become fathers
• The tamarin monkey study showing weight gain before birth on the same diet
• Why science says women find the dad bod most attractive
• Why the dad bod signals a more caring, hands-on father
• The conversations every couple should have before the baby arrives
• Why building a social support network before birth is critical
• What matrescence and patrescence do to your sense of self
• Why the hardest early period is temporary, and how to give yourself grace
📺 Watch the full episode here – https://youtu.be/Ppyt3MptX5k
❤️ Subscribe to our main channel –
www.youtube.com/TheDiaryOfACEO
Get your hands on exclusive Diary of a CEO products: https://thediary.com/collections/all?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=experiment&utm_term=clipschannel
#thediaryofaceo #doac
@TheDiaryOfACEOClips
August 31, 2026 at 6:59 am
Watch the full episode here – https://youtu.be/Ppyt3MptX5k
@azome4
August 31, 2026 at 6:59 am
أفحسبتم أنما خلقناكم عبثا وأنكم إلينا لا ترجعون (115) فتعالى الله الملك الحق لا إله إلا هو رب العرش الكريم (116) ومن يدع مع الله إلها آخر لا برهان له به فإنما حسابه عند ربه إنه لا يفلح الكافرون (117) وقل رب اغفر وارحم وأنت خير الراحمين (118)
إن الله تعالى لم يخلقكم في هذه الدنيا عبثاً وباطلاً بلا حكمة، ولن يترككم هَمَلاً بلا بعث ولا حساب؛ فتنزه سبحانه وتعاظم عن هذا النقص، فهو الملك الحق المنفرد بالألوهية ورب العرش العظيم. وبناءً على هذه الحقيقة، فإن كل من يعبد معه إلهاً آخر بلا حجة ولا برهان، فإن عقابه جزاء كفره مدخر عند ربه، ولا فلاح له يوم القيامة؛ والطريق الوحيد لنجاتكم من هذا الحساب هو لزوم الاستغفار وطلب الرحمة من الله الذي هو أفضل وأرحم الراحمين.
@SkipBrewer-d3u
August 31, 2026 at 6:59 am
Both parents should read to the baby while in the mother’s womb for 9 months to give the child a head start
@spinnettdesigns
August 31, 2026 at 6:59 am
Be married.
Studies show that children want their parents to be committed on paper, it gives them the one thing that all children need the most: safety.
@Miissakuravidel
August 31, 2026 at 6:59 am
I wish she talked about dad supporting mom while she is healing. It’s crazy to me that this wasn’t mentioned. She mentions mom not giving attention to dad but nothing about the need in the other direction when she is physically devastated.
@red.rose.08
August 31, 2026 at 6:59 am
As a mom with 2 young ninja boys, with one of them diagnosed with moderate ASD, my husband and I simply just wing it. What works, keep at it. What doesn't, let it go or table it for now. Don't let other people's judgements get to you. And sleep! That's sooo important. And showers! Helps with self-respect. And don't forget to just laugh at yourself, and practice being grateful. Having little babies and little kids are just for a season. You get to look back and pat yourself on the back for being tough that you survived all the sleepless nights, and did all the crazy stuff up to this point. And all the happy, sad, and proud moments that only you and your spouse or partner get to have in your hearts, you get to cherish forever. Congrats on being a new Dad and Mom and that your legacy will continue through your videos and now through your kid.
@Bouilloncubes
August 31, 2026 at 6:59 am
Take more videos less pictures. My husband worked so I could stay home and I will forever treasure those years. Videos helped him feel like he was there too when he couldn’t be. My son is 9 now and his favorite thing to do is go back and re-watch all those videos of himself. He gets to relive and feel all the love from that time period when his memory is a little fuzzy. Blessings to your growing family. ❤
@OkramCivotopsed
August 31, 2026 at 6:59 am
Just be brave and have faith! Everything else is distraction.
@jjsksmith01
August 31, 2026 at 6:59 am
She is cooking! After having three young children this advice is so powerful. Luckily her advice came natural for us, but the support network was so much more helpful than I expected. Take regular breaks (10-15 mins) just to decompress and come back fresh ready to be the best person you can. Your patience and tolerance will be tested, never give up! As the kids gain more independence (age 5-6), the pressure and responsibilities will get easier.
@whitey792000
August 31, 2026 at 6:59 am
Thank God I don't have any kids
@SreedeviS-x9l
August 31, 2026 at 6:59 am
❤❤
@Valadimir-m7n
August 31, 2026 at 6:59 am
Islam teaches the best parenting.
@GinaR21212
August 31, 2026 at 6:59 am
You need to be rich nowadays to have children.
@shinobidobe
August 31, 2026 at 6:59 am
Wait, i thought he didn’t want kids??
@johnshinn6274
August 31, 2026 at 6:59 am
If you’re making the commitment to have a baby together, you should also get married. That commitment is necessary to get you through the tough times of the responsibilities of raising your children together. If you can’t do one, don’t do the other. If you’re going to do either, do both. G*d bless you both.
@geekworld5443
August 31, 2026 at 6:59 am
Totally wrong on dad bod! Beware where you take advice from.
@youngsimba09
August 31, 2026 at 6:59 am
how many men become dads from a weak position as a means to keep a woman or even accidentally?
@majormarketing6552
August 31, 2026 at 6:59 am
My advice, don’t have kids…. Or run
@candiceclune
August 31, 2026 at 6:59 am
Unpaid parental leave but if someone gets suspended at work they most of the time get paid leave
@candiceclune
August 31, 2026 at 6:59 am
I agree 💯 on the dad bod and everything she said about it.
My husband gained weight with me during my pregnancies and lost weight with me. ❤
@JustinY.
August 31, 2026 at 6:59 am
The older you get, the more you appreciate your parents more.
@E.S.Foster99
August 31, 2026 at 6:59 am
Today's babies are not yesterday's. They are older souls and education is now as much or more about …remembering …as memorization. Remembering what? Our core true essence and purpose in this life.
@robertjosan
August 31, 2026 at 6:59 am
You should be having these conversations way before conception
Comments are closed.