How to break the spell of powerful emotions | Lisa Damour: Full Interview

“You either face your demons, or they raise your children/ The kids are gonna die from war, famine and climate change: scholar yourself out of that. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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"Should"? Your trauma is showing.

Does a tree feel the need to expand its ability to stress?

Stress is good??? LOL What a load of crap. This woman needs to go back to school.

Getting whiplash from the way the conversation pivoted from dealing with difficult emotions and shame to “I love teenagers” and “the current teenagers are the best behaved ever”.

She talks about anxiety and shame as if they are the same family – they are not. Anxiety is intolerance of uncertainty and shame is the belief that one is fundamentally flawed. Still didn’t learn anything about how to deal with shame 60 min in. For most people, shame is so deeply rooted that they aren’t even aware they have it, let alone have the courage to confront it.

Her comparison of subjective brain expeprience to an objective experience of your muscles in the gym, is the stupidest analogy I have ever heard. Why are psychologist the most lowlife form of science trying to cling to objectivity through the most subjective threads imagined. Always a woman or a femboy teaching it too. Little think in this one

How many of us wish this advice was available to our parents when we were growing up?

I think there is a ton of assumed privilege in this video. There are a lot of people out there that may not have time to do all these things. What about a single mom in a low income situation working three jobs I’m sure she’d love to get sleep. I’m sure she’d love to exercise but most likely that’s not her priority. This video is helpful only for those people that can afford therapy, that have time to exercise, that have time for a full sleep.

I needed this video twenty years ago.

Her section on teenagers there’s a couple of things that I think she misses the target on

Number one is that she under values the influence of Phones and social media on their mental health. She talks about a pie chart with all of these other influences, but all of those other influencers were around for previous generations. What accounts for the increase in anxiety and depression and loneliness is social media and relationship with technology.

Second she talks about teenagers only wanting to have someone to listen to them, but most teenage boys don’t wanna talk about their day or their problems for their issues. It’s literally clawing teeth to get them to talk now this is often times a combination of socialize the way they’ve been socialized, but I’ve seen it time and time again with teenage boys and you ask them how they’re doing and the answer is fine. They don’t want to dig in anymore. They just want to continue on with playing their video games or playing sports or doing something and a big part of that is how boys are just ingrained to want to do and move to the next thing rather than just do and talk about things which makes them more uncomfortable.

10 mins in and so far 0 valuable information… does it get better or is it a waste of time to watch it?

I’ve never heard anybody say stress is bad. People are usually talking about chronic stress.

Great episode! Reading the comments reminds me of how people react to the word salt or cholesterol.

What did u study to become aware of a persons hypersensitivity

Don't judge and silently shame your kids.

Skilled communicator.

18:37 – great advice! "What would you say to a friend?" LOVE THAT

Is it me or Psychologists' job today is to tell you you are the problem because you don't "regulate your emotions"? It's like yeah take a break, do mindfulness (their favourite! ) but never something like the problem is STRUCTURAL too! It is very human to let the emotions in the passager seat take the wheel if you don't have a job, your partner cheats on you, you cannot afford rent, your college debt is over 100k, let alone MANY PEOPLE have OCD, ASD, ADHD, and other mental health conditions and diseases. You need to warn people that until you go through a proper assessments of your BRAIN and mental health all of this is crap!! Even when you look at studies, benefit is only for people who already have a good life or the support network, the nutrition!, the roof under their heads! Telling us "regulate your emotions" only gaslight us and reinforces the status quo! You can't ask only one side to cooperate, we need the environment to cooperate too! That means jobs, schools, neighbors, employers, university, hospitals, etc. We need societal and structural changes!! And public healthcare!! And take care of poverty instead of feeding people with "coping mechanisms " they can't even access or can't even implement! Neurology is far better in this one cause how the heck do you regulate a mind when the brain is all swollen!! Update the field once for all too brain scans have been showing this for decades now!

Great advice. Biggest problem is we live in a society especially in the us that is actively working against you. Every day we are bombarded with perceived “failures” the neighbor got a better car, your wife sisters husband got a promotion, everyone’s life online is perfect, etc… Your body and nervous system can only handle so much “stress” before it just gives up and gives into it. It’s all like this on purpose to continually keep you stressed and wanting more